Needing new friends

[Cuellar]

I do think that after school and university there should be a third or fourth thing in the same vein that allows people to get a re-up on the friend stash.

I don't know anyone who has a Meet Me at MacDonalds haircut, for example.

Try hanging out at a local McDonalds

[Buelligan]

join a club
The South England Legion of Dickheads
was gonna do a big list like what shoulders does but fuck it just one is fine.

I don't think they're letting any more into that, completely packed out it is.  He could start his own chapter though, might be a bit lonely at first but only for about two milliseconds.

[king_tubby]

Can you read? Join a local book group.
Join a gym and sit about drinking protein and eating steroids and comparing penis shrinkage with spotty musclebound poindexters.
Put a note in a local music shop - 'Singer available, influences Mayhem, Skrewdriver and Peter, Paul and Mary'
Grindr.
Fishing.
Phishing.

[rasta-spouse]

Try hanging out at a local McDonalds

What if my copy of Brothers Karamazov falls in the fryer?

[Twed]

If I need a friend I just give a wriggle
split right down the middle
and when I look there's two of me
both as handsome as can be

[Cuellar]

Can you read? Join a local book group.
Join a gym and sit about drinking protein and eating steroids and comparing penis shrinkage with spotty musclebound poindexters.
Put a note in a local music shop - 'Singer available, influences Mayhem, Skrewdriver and Peter, Paul and Mary'
Grindr.
Fishing.
Phishing.

Phisting

[Jerzy Bondov]

Tie your penis to a bridge

That's not advice for making friends, just something I think you should do

[Dex Sawash]

Draw some in MS Paint

[PlanktonSideburns]

I do think that after school and university there should be a third or fourth thing in the same vein that allows people to get a re-up on the friend stash.

I guess this is what those paedo hunter groups are about

[Sebastian Cobb]

If you don't mind people taking things too seriously and talking a better game than they play you could join a pub darts team.

Or Bowls.

[checkoutgirl]

As long-time madhair60 fans will know, all my real person friends moved away and left me with the absolute detritus of my social circle, the people who play Warhammer and Cthulhu and spend their Friday evenings looking at the Fantasy Flight games website and I tell them about an interesting thing that happened and they glaze over and turn to the computer going "...maybe FFG has updated."

So, I need to make new friends, but I don't know how an adult does this without coming across like a massive fucking granule. How do you DO IT?

You can't after the age of 30. The only exception is friends of friends but it seems unlikely your warhammer mates will pull Mr Right out of the bag.

Incidentally I hate all my friends now but I suspect it's a mental problem of mine rather than my mates being dicks.

[checkoutgirl]

Asking CaB this question is like asking a homeless person how they make so much money.

That is true. So Mick Hucknell, how do you get such a cool hairstyle?

[checkoutgirl]

My serious advice is move to a small community (provided you're fairly open-minded about what sort of friends you want).  I did this, I didn't even want any of the fuckers.

After that, you just join in with any old shit that's going, help out, smile at people you pass in the street, five minutes later, you're in for life whether you want it or no.  I am not even lying.  Small community and make sure not to act like a cunt.

Anyway, I'm your fucking friend madhair.

Edit to add - try to choose somewhere with reasonable weather, you'll never meet anyone if they're all indoors.

People with good jobs can't live in small communities usually. I mean that in the nicest possible way. Hence, good job, big city, no community, human sadness.

[Lost Oliver]

It's usually through work isn't it? Trouble is, most of the people you meet at work are boring AF and talk as if they actually want to be there.

[Twed]

warhammer

Worrammer.

[MidnightShambler]

It depends on how you define friends. I've probably only got about 10 people that I'm in contact with on a personal, day-to-day (or sometimes week to week) basis that I'm happy to discuss my life with and listen to them tell me about theirs. Even then I can only get into the really deep stuff with two or three of them, now I think about it, because there's things that have happened in my life that other friends of their's have been involved with/caused/been on the receiving end of and i don't feel comfortable talking about my feelings on those subjects with them. Still love them but things are off limits. Life's complicated, isn't it?

I live in quite an incestuous town, everybody knows everybody else's fucking business. There's nowhere safe to have an affair, put it that way. So you can walk into any pub, any time and know at least half of the clientele, so if you just want someone to hang out with you'll always find somebody. But friends? I wouldn't call them friends. There's nothing like a crowd to make you feel alone.

So, if you want people to pass the time with and have a natter, all I can say is go to the same pub (preferably one you've never been in) every evening (better than nights cos people are sober-ish after work) and before you know it you'll have acquaintences. They' could turn into friends, they might not. Give yourself a chance though, eh? You seem sound, if you ever come to Liverpool i'll happily be your friend.

Come to Liverpool and please be my friend.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Yeah, youre going to have to have kids Im afraid. Met a ton of (adult) people that way. Unfortunately also now a desperate collapsing meniscus of a human. The cure may be worse than the disease.

[Cuellar]

Not him, not Briggs. He's nobody's fucking friend.

[king_tubby]

Become a drugs dealer.

[pancreas]

Not him, not Briggs. He's nobody's fucking friend.

People tend to be a little wary of madhair. They balk at giving him their all. But me they like at first sight.

[Cuellar]

knew i could count on u x

[Flouncer]

I made a new friend a couple of years ago - it started off with him selling me weed, but we got on and ended up doing some music together; we did a bit of recording with one of his mates and I got him to play drums in this band I was trying to get going. He's a good drummer and he likes a lot of the same music as me. I've just gone sour on him though - he started sharing some really questionable shit on the Facebooks. Jordan Peterson videos and shit. I can't be bothered with that kind of stuff; I've got no time for negative vibe merchants, and I certainly don't want to be making music with them. He started asking me about band stuff and I didn't reply... I don't really want to delete him on there - my girlfriend did because she gives short shrift to this type of cunt - but nor can I be arsed to put any effort into our interactions any more. I'm not going to confront him about it either: I don't feel as though I know him well enough to be like, "Mate - what's the deal with this stuff you've been sharing?" I'm just going to let the association break down organically like a lump of shit in a compost heap.

The last time I met someone I actually wanted to be friends with, was about five years ago. Again it was a drummer; we played in the same band for a bit and we had a laugh and got along quite well. We had quite a lot in common personality wise though he was a bit younger than me. I was around 25 and he around 20. He opened up to me about this girl that he fancied who was a mutual musical acquaintance - he got a bit obsessed with her and couldn't work up the balls to ask her out. I gave him a bit of advice and listened to his concerns and stuff; he had poor confidence both in personal matters and his musical ability (the latter was certainly unfounded)... I asked him to do some music with me but he didn't seem to be bothered, and also tried to be social with him. He would agree to do something with me and then pull out at the last moment or not bother to turn up and claim he'd forgotten. I gave him the benefit of the doubt at first, but as time went on it became increasingly clear that I was the only one putting any effort in and I just fucked him off. Before long he got together with a lass (who wasn't cutey vibraphone girl), and after that he couldn't be bothered with anyone or anything. They then fucked off down south somewhere. I've still got him on Facebook but we seldom interact, though he did wish me well when I made a post on there about some family trouble I'd had recently. He's one of those people who outwardly seems nice and well-meaning, but ultimately is a bit of a disingenuous cunt.

Now I don't really see anyone, apart from one really old friend of mine (I recently posted about her in another thread). I went to rehab at the end of last year so I don't see anything of my group of druggy friends, many of whom go back to my school days. I could make more of an effort to interact with people but I tend to shut myself off. I don't mind being on my own, though. My girlfriend stays with me sometimes, but half the time when she's here I just want to be on my own. I'm an awkward bastard and it's easier to be in my own company. I'm mental and fucked up -  I don't play well with others. Sometimes I think, "There must be more to life than this?" Then I remember that life is shit and most people are cunts. It's like Richie says in Bottom, "If you want to have a good time - forget it."

[Buelligan]

People with good jobs can't live in small communities usually. I mean that in the nicest possible way. Hence, good job, big city, no community, human sadness.

What is a good job?  I reckon it's one you do with confidence, don't cheat anyone, maybe help someone, doesn't stress you out, means you can live somewhere you want to live, it's a job that you do, not one that does you.

[Cuellar]

What is a good job? 

*rubs tips of thumb, index, and middle fingers together*

[PlanktonSideburns]

Not true, the no friend's after 30 thing

[Cuellar]

Don't think I've made a friend since, oooh....2013? And he's just the boyfriend of a colleague of my girlfriend's. So barely even counts.

[poo]

gerontophile3000@hotmail.com 4 friend

[Neville Chamberlain]

Tie your penis to a bridge

I don't remember that in The Chicken Song!!!

[checkoutgirl]

What is a good job? 

A job where you are not outdoors getting eaten by fleas or in a dung pit covered in shit. Any job where you are highly qualified or skilled and get satisfaction from being highly qualified or skilled. Usually indoors, decently paid.

That kind of thing.

[Buelligan]

You'd have to pay me to be indoors, fuck that.

I jest but IMO, office work is the shittest work on the planet, don't forget, I had a career once.