How to win over Pancreas and defeat the odds

[BlodwynPig]

I'm *thinking* of applying (again) to Pancreas' workplace as *someone* (not Pancreas) thinks I'm in with a "shout". Pancreas clearly thinks I'm inferior and I'd probably agree, although I've been pep-talked a lot by N. Americans into overcoming this angst. It's a tough application process, and I'll have to present twice in front of Pancreas and his ill-minded colleagues if I even get to the interview stage.

So, I'm looking for pro-tips (not from Pancreas, as that would be "unethical") on how to win over Pancreas and get this "DREAM" job!

(I don't want you, Panco, to state "don't even bother", even if it is heartfelt and true.)

[Emotional Support Peacock]

Give him your large organ.

[Ferris]

To get a guy like Pancreas onside, you have to start at the bottom and work your way up (ooh! Pardon!)

What I'm saying is - apply as a janitor. Sneak around when no one is about and solve math problems on big chalkboards. Even if they're easy, 2+2=4, that type of thing. Impresses the eggheads in their ivory towers, they'll hire you just for a bit of a laugh, with their bottomless higher education grants and pots of endowment gold. "He will amuse us, this pleb with his chalkboard!", they'll say. Then you're in. Gain their trust, get tenure, spend the remainder of you career drunk and asleep in a supply closet.

That's how I got my big break into academia. How I got my big break out of academia (and subsequently fled the country) is another story, for another time.

Hope this helps.

[Paul Calf]

Wrap up a couple of housebricks _{in a threatening note} and deliver them to him _{by throwing them through his window.}

[Cuellar]

Study Pinter and give him a little kiss.

[pancreas]

He's distorting the facts. He's eminently deserving of a job. He got an enormous grant, for example. He struggles at selling himself somewhat. I have told him these things.

[Cuellar]

Give him a job, you shit!

[Twed]

You cunts are going to be unbearable, like fucking socialist, maths Flanders and Swanns wanking away at some kind of ancient organ together made all the more irritating that you both say really good stuff all of the time

FUCK OFF

[Buelligan]

Why aren't you selling yourself, Blodwyn?

For fuck's sake man, sell yourself.

I think you could do it easy.  Just imagine you're Richard Madeley, you can have me on an earpiece as the Dead Judy if you like, sell your sweet, sweet, arse to them like a bull in a sweet shop.  Like Gareth Cheeseman.

[bgmnts]

I hope you don't get it.

[Cuellar]

Sell yourself.

To me.

For mere pence.

[studpuppet]

I'm *thinking* of applying (again) to Pancreas' workplace...

People on this forum actually WORK?!!

[pancreas]

Give him a job, you shit!

Nothing to do with me!

[BlodwynPig]

yes, Panco is a Pure Mathematician and I am a False Mathematician, although he deals in Lies

[BlodwynPig]

I hope you don't get it.

+1 You have won me over, keep it up, you might gain my friendship

[Twed]

yes, Panco is a Pure Mathematician and I am a False Mathematician, although he deals in Lies

Tink tonk!



Absolutely fuck the bastard hell off with it.

[BlodwynPig]

Maybe more poetic

Panco is a Pure Mathematician who deals in Lies and I am a False Mathematician who deals in Odes.

[thenoise]

Maffs is for loosers

[monkfromhavana]

How do you present? Just write some numbers and squiggly lines on a blackboard?

Anyway, just tell the board that Panco cribbed all his work off some 8-year old Chinese maths wunderkind and he's a sham, a total sham. If they're still not sure just tell them he touched you.

[Blue Jam]

Show him your Numberwang

[Paul Calf]

Use words like 'lambda' and phrases like 'topological space' often while in his company and he will be well impressed, I can tell you. I have increased my social standing manifold by deploying 'lambda' at opportune moments. It's a real (Lorentz) boost.

I don't even make my own lambdas. I just buy them off Amazon.

[BlodwynPig]

Use words like 'lambda' and phrases like 'topological space' often while in his company and he will be well impressed, I can tell you. I have increased my social standing manifold by deploying 'lambda' at opportune moments. It's a real (Lorentz) boost.

I don't even make my own lambdas. I just buy them off Amazon.

Very good, you're hired.

Here's your prize



It actually could be an important plot as it shows that from a theoretical point a view the addition of external hydrogen into an anaerobic system may result in stabilisation of periodic orbits emerging from a Hopf bifurcation. In layman's terms - it confirms that the model represents the qualitative behaviour of these systems, in which hydrogen has stabilising effect on a synthetically engineered syntrophic three species acetogenic-methanogenic food-web. Layman's Layman's - we can control anaerobic digestion using hydrogen as a control variable, and know qualitatively how.

[Twed]

It's a graph of your fucking ringhole.

[bgmnts]

Very good, you're hired.

Here's your prize



It actually could be an important plot as it shows that from a theoretical point a view the addition of external hydrogen into an anaerobic system may result in stabilisation of periodic orbits emerging from a Hopf bifurcation. In layman's terms - it confirms that the model represents the qualitative behaviour of these systems, in which hydrogen has stabilising effect on a synthetically engineered syntrophic three species acetogenic-methanogenic food-web. Layman's Layman's - we can control anaerobic digestion using hydrogen as a control variable, and know qualitatively how.

Just looks like a 4 year old trying to design the Death Star to me.

[poo]

HARD BREXIT NOW

[BlodwynPig]

Just looks like a 4 year old trying to design the Death Star to me.

The green and blue are periodic orbits, so you were close

[Shit Good Nose]

Do something like this - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47089719

[Cuellar]

Do something like this - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47089719

God how awful. Imagine seeing that. Imagine it, imagine seeing that on 'social media'. What 'social media' might that be, specifically? I imagine you'd have to be searching for something like 'underground fuck' or 'underground sex party' or 'underground fuck nolly', something like that?

Beggars belief. I would only be able to believe it if I saw it.

[monkfromhavana]

Very good, you're hired.

Here's your prize



It actually could be an important plot as it shows that from a theoretical point a view the addition of external hydrogen into an anaerobic system may result in stabilisation of periodic orbits emerging from a Hopf bifurcation. In layman's terms - it confirms that the model represents the qualitative behaviour of these systems, in which hydrogen has stabilising effect on a synthetically engineered syntrophic three species acetogenic-methanogenic food-web. Layman's Layman's - we can control anaerobic digestion using hydrogen as a control variable, and know qualitatively how.

BOLLOCKS

[BlodwynPig]

It could well be, need to prove it and get peer reviewed