How do you make your bedroom look nice?

[Z]

What kinda things do you do to make it not look like a private room at a concentration camp? Brought a girl back a few days ago and she almost broke down crying at the idea of having to stay in the room, so I figure I should try and make it a bit more pleasant looking.

Currently I've nothing on the walls, a bed, and a bunch of things stuffed into old amazon boxes stacked in one corner. Would a cactus help, d'you reckon?
Suggestions welcome, descriptions of how you made your own places nicer appreciated too.

[bgmnts]

Stuffed deer head on the wall shows women how good a hunter you are.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

What kinda things do you do to make it not look like a private room at a concentration camp?

Ditched my striped pyjamas and nightcap.  Unfortunately, couldn't fully got that tattoo of my bank PIN off my arm.

[Squink]

Brought a girl back a few days ago and she almost broke down crying at the idea of having to stay in the room

Dump her mate. Not worth it. She's already trying to change everything about you. Is it worth it. Really?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Tidy up floordrobe.

Remove old pocket crap (bus/tube/gig ticket/tissues), and change from bedside table.

[kittens]

those nice yellowy white fairy lights. these probably won't help at this stage though, with just a bed and a stack of boxes. you get home from work and just stare at a patch of wall for 5 hours before falling asleep. this room exactly mirrors the inside of your brain. i am crying just thinking about your room.

[Z]

Dump her mate. Not worth it. She's already trying to change everything about you. Is it worth it. Really?

She's already dumped me so that's okay.

I'd like the next one to stick around long enough for some sex

[Buelligan]

Depends on what kind of people you "bring home".  I prefer a room to smell and look (actually be) clean, after that, I prefer it not to have collections of weapons or porn on open display.  Avoid shrines too.  A motorcycle would be appreciated (but may not work generally).  After that, if we're talking decor, you need to have taste, if you don't have any, copy something from a magazine (not a shit magazine).

[Sebastian Cobb]

those nice yellowy white fairy lights. these probably won't help at this stage though, with just a bed and a stack of boxes. you get home from work and just stare at a patch of wall for 5 hours before falling asleep. this room exactly mirrors the inside of your brain. i am crying just thinking about your room.

Maybe he's elevated himself to a level where all he uses his bedroom for is sleeping and fornication (with or without an opponent is not relevant here) and has other rooms to busy away his evening in. Didn't think about that did you.

[chveik]

crucifix

[bgmnts]

Can you not shag her in the living room?

[kittens]

Maybe he's elevated himself to a level where all he uses his bedroom for is sleeping and fornication (with or without an opponent is not relevant here) and has other rooms to busy away his evening in. Didn't think about that did you.

are you suggesting this man owns his own house? if that is the case why did he not simply pay the woman to sleep with him?

[Pseudopath]

Himalayan Salt Lamp, mate. Gives your boneroom a lovely permadawn on the Serengeti vibe and is guaranteed to cream anyone's knickers.

[St_Eddie]

Get a Billy Bass and hang it on the wall.  Real classy, like.

[QDRPHNC]

Feng Shui. It'll make your room look nice.

[biggytitbo]

Posters of Jeffrey dahmer, Fred West and ted bundy are good to set a romantic ambience, especially if you hang a very similar poster of yourself next to them.

[alan nagsworth]

plants, mate. plants are wicked

and one of those fucking massive canvas photo prints of london where everything is black and white except a bus and a phone box which are red

[Sebastian Cobb]

Poster from a 40's noir, Kung Fu or Blaxploitation flick

[alan nagsworth]

a telly that's way too big for the room and a playstation

[alan nagsworth]

a home-made skinning up tray from a shoebox lid that has a spliff building trough taped on and loads of books of roach card and a grinder that cost you £70

[chveik]

everything is black and white except a bus and a phone box which are red

Steven Spielberg considers rewrite

[St_Eddie]

plants, mate. plants are wicked

My girlfriend at the time, brought me a venus flytrap.  Every time that it caught a fly, I'd feel really bad for the fly and so I would force the relevant trap open and free the little fella (doing this irrevocably damages the plant's trap).  Then I felt bad for the plant, so I'd let it catch a fly with one of its functioning traps but then I would sit there fretting over it and feeling sorry for both fly and trap.  Due to my tampering and interfering with nature, the venus flytrap soon perished and I found the whole ordeal to be deeply upsetting.

So plants are okay, I guess but unless you're a sadist, maybe avoid getting a venus flytrap.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Bamboo plants are more-or-less impossible to kill. One step up from plastic plants.

[Z]

so all these suggestions of plants are nice and all  but did I mention a window in my description?

[St_Eddie]

so all these suggestions of plants are nice and all  but did I mention a window in my description?

Don't see many windows in those cannabis farms stored in lofts either, mate.  Simply deck your bedroom out with a cluster of UV lights and wear shades when you go to bed.  A potted fern will happily thrive within such conditions and all it took was a couple of simple adjustments to your bedroom and sleeping routine.  Admittedly, the electricity bill will be astronomical but just think of how immeasurably elated you'll be with your lady-attracting potted fern. 

[imitationleather]

Instead of just leaving the empty beers cans lying everywhere pile them up on top of each other. No only does it save space, you'll also find they slot together so conveniently you'll become convinced that Mr Can Man designed them for this exact purpose.

If this still doesn't impress her then maybe she just isn't The One.

[Cuellar]

Get yourself a solicitor that you can leave strategically placed in the bedroom, when guests enter you can introduce them to the solicitor and your status will rise.

[Jittlebags]

Maybe a big wobbly erotic water bed. But make sure that your father isn't doing any late night cobbling upstairs before you bring a bird back. 'arold....

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Your room sounds crap, mate. If I was a bird, I wouldn't fuck you, either. Get that poster of that lady playing tennis and showing her botty up on the wall, along with a prominent CD collection,  showing the likes of titles by Ocean Colour Scene and The Bluetones, along with your video collection , with the entire shitloads of seasons of " The Sopranos " taking centre stage. Your room should also contain such impressive objects as a xylophone, a toaster and a game of Ker- plunk. There you go, knickers down, no problem.

[Brian Freeze]

Your room sounds crap, mate. If I was a bird, I wouldn't fuck you, either. Get that poster of that lady playing tennis and showing her botty up on the wall, along with a prominent CD collection,  showing the likes of titles by Ocean Colour Scene and The Bluetones, along with your video collection , with the entire shitloads of seasons of " The Sopranos " taking centre stage. Your room should also contain such impressive objects as a xylophone, a toaster and a game of Ker- plunk. There you go, knickers down, no problem.

How about a didgeridoo in the corner as well?