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Normal Things That Don't Happen in Movies

Started by Golden E. Pump, February 01, 2019, 01:20:28 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Puce Moment

Quote from: Malcy on February 01, 2019, 07:28:01 PMNo one ever stumbles over their own words or get things they say wrong. Same for choking on your saliva a little bit mid sentence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAJTllCrvn0

Phil_A

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on February 02, 2019, 02:29:55 PM
Someone buys a magazine and several leaflets fall out.

Hmm, I definitely seen that done as a gag, possibly in a Zucker Brothers joint, where someone opens a magazine and a torrent of about five hundred leaflets pour out. Anyone remember where this was?

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Recieving change from a cashier after making a purchase. The film character will just throw a few notes at them and then leave.

"Wait Sir! You've forgotten your..... Oh, nevermind".

Also, nobody ever finishes a beer.

Deyv

Speaking of sex, it's never normal in films, is it? It's always either John-Cusack-in-a-car-with-Iben-Hjejle or a serious sexual assault with Air on the G String behind it to give the effect of classiness. It's never the awkward sex which exists between those two extremes. Peep Show isn't a film, but it's much closer to real life. Are there examples of this in films? If there are plenty, I'm a bit embarrassed but also kind of thankful for being wrong. Sex was being talked about at some point, yes?

Also, making a cup of tea and using too much milk so you have to start again. I can sort of see why they don't bother including that, though.

purlieu

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 02, 2019, 03:39:06 PM
Also, nobody ever finishes a beer.
/ cigarette / meal. The amount of cigarettes stubbed out after three drags in films is ridiculous, as with almost full glasses (or, in too many cases, completely full glasses) and similarly full plates. I always notice it and it really bugs me.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 02, 2019, 03:39:06 PM
Recieving change from a cashier after making a purchase. The film character will just throw a few notes at them and then leave.

"Wait Sir! You've forgotten your..... Oh, nevermind".

Also, nobody ever finishes a beer.

When I was an extra in a sitcom which had a bar scene I was given a warm, flat pint of Corona to sip from which was bloody disgusting, fortunately I'm only on screen for about two seconds so you can't see my disgusted face when I had to take a sip of it.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I'm surprised they give you actual booze. I presumed it was just coloured water or something, so people wouldn't be getting arseholed over multiple takes.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 02, 2019, 06:35:25 PM
I'm surprised they give you actual booze. I presumed it was just coloured water or something, so people wouldn't be getting arseholed over multiple takes.

I thought that too, but as it was a real bar rather than a studio set maybe they just used what they had on hand.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 02, 2019, 06:35:25 PM
I'm surprised they give you actual booze. I presumed it was just coloured water or something, so people wouldn't be getting arseholed over multiple takes.

I've heard in some cases, back in the 70's/80's when beer was a murky brown rather than golden, it was often cold tea.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Go on then SMBH, what sitcom was it? Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, yeah?

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 02, 2019, 07:13:22 PM
Go on then SMBH, what sitcom was it? Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, yeah?

Hah, but no, I'm something of a whore but even I wouldn't appear on that. It was The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret, there's a screen grab of my incredibly brief appearance here: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,30579.msg1597968.html#msg1597968

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Phil_A on February 02, 2019, 03:34:11 PM
Hmm, I definitely seen that done as a gag, possibly in a Zucker Brothers joint, where someone opens a magazine and a torrent of about five hundred leaflets pour out. Anyone remember where this was?

Not a Zucker Brothers fillum, but the Zuckeresque National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon One.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 02, 2019, 03:39:06 PM
Also, nobody ever finishes a beer.
Or order them by name. They'll ask the bartender "gimmie a beer", and the bartender never asks "Do you want lager, ale, stout? Pint or half? Bottle?" they just either pass them a pint of something amber or a bottle of something with "lite" on the lable.

greenman

Quote from: Deyv on February 02, 2019, 03:44:53 PM
Speaking of sex, it's never normal in films, is it? It's always either John-Cusack-in-a-car-with-Iben-Hjejle or a serious sexual assault with Air on the G String behind it to give the effect of classiness. It's never the awkward sex which exists between those two extremes. Peep Show isn't a film, but it's much closer to real life. Are there examples of this in films? If there are plenty, I'm a bit embarrassed but also kind of thankful for being wrong. Sex was being talked about at some point, yes?

Also, making a cup of tea and using too much milk so you have to start again. I can sort of see why they don't bother including that, though.

I think you could argue a lot of the fuss around Blue is the Warmest Colour was that the sex wasn't some marker for abuse or mental illness as typically seems to be the case with anything more graphic(Shame, etc)

Deyv

Quote from: greenman on February 03, 2019, 09:21:00 AM
I think you could argue a lot of the fuss around Blue is the Warmest Colour was that the sex wasn't some marker for abuse or mental illness as typically seems to be the case with anything more graphic(Shame, etc)

That's gratifying to hear. I should give it a go. I feel like a pervert putting it like that, but not altogether sure why...
Is it a good film? It sounds like it's going to be a sad one, having Blue in the title.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Not necessarily. Blue, blue film, bluey, porn. It may be sad porn though.

Brundle-Fly

After coming out the toilet somebody having a tiny piss stain on the crotch of their light coloured trousers. I'm surprised Liam Neeson hasn't tackled this in a movie yet.

kidsick5000

Quote from: Deyv on February 03, 2019, 03:09:37 PM
That's gratifying to hear. I should give it a go. I feel like a pervert putting it like that, but not altogether sure why...
Is it a good film? It sounds like it's going to be a sad one, having Blue in the title.

Not very sad. It's a relationship. However, you might find yourself questioning the motives behind the sex scene. It goes on for quite a while and does not add much to the story.

Phil_A

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on February 03, 2019, 05:28:19 AM
Not a Zucker Brothers fillum, but the Zuckeresque National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon One.

That's the one, ta. I knew it had to be something along those lines.

greenman

#79
Quote from: Brundle-Fly on February 03, 2019, 04:52:06 PM
After coming out the toilet somebody having a tiny piss stain on the crotch of their light coloured trousers. I'm surprised Liam Neeson hasn't tackled this in a movie yet.

Donnie Yen in Tigercage 2, taking a piss whilst handcuffed to Rosamund Kwan on the other side of the door who suddenly sits down.

Quote from: kidsick5000Not very sad. It's a relationship. However, you might find yourself questioning the motives behind the sex scene. It goes on for quite a while and does not add much to the story.

I would say very sad personally albeit not pushing into more melodramatic tragedy as a lot of gay relationships in cinema tend to, then again the film isn't just focused on that aspect either.

I'd say the first half of the film is all very clearly building up to the sex scene amping up sexual/emotional tension and I don't think the film as a whole would sell the relationship without them. For me its a question of whether you view turning the audience on as a reflection of the characters as legit or not, don't really see why it shouldn't be anymore than reflecting other aspects of their lives personally.

You could argue another thing it differs from the norm on is actually showing characters eating a lot rather than sitting in dinners with plates infront of them moving the odd meatball around.

Sebastian Cobb

Deciding not to bother refilling at a petrol station on the return journey, then being slightly angsty on the way back, wishing you had, but it turns out fine.

touchingcloth

Quote from: bgmnts on February 01, 2019, 01:44:01 AM
Wiping. The only time i've seen wiping even referenced was in the Tenacious D film.

Dunkirk was arguably the story of one squaddy's days' long journey in search of a wipe after he berthed a little ship on the beach.

kalowski

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on February 03, 2019, 08:39:39 AM
Or order them by name. They'll ask the bartender "gimmie a beer", and the bartender never asks "Do you want lager, ale, stout? Pint or half? Bottle?" they just either pass them a pint of something amber or a bottle of something with "lite" on the lable.
That's why I love that bit in The Deer Hunter: "You want a Rolling Rock? Rolling Rock is a good beer." (Paraphrasing)

zomgmouse

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on February 03, 2019, 08:39:39 AM
Or order them by name. They'll ask the bartender "gimmie a beer", and the bartender never asks "Do you want lager, ale, stout? Pint or half? Bottle?" they just either pass them a pint of something amber or a bottle of something with "lite" on the lable.

This kind of makes sense from a licensing/branding point of view. Probably costs too much to actually get to say a company's name. Which is kind of bullshit but also why give them free advertising anyway? Alternatively to simulate the reality of ordering drinks by name just make up a name.

touchingcloth

Has there ever been a film where someone checks their receipt and then says "I've been charged full price for this wine but it's supposed to be reduced to a fiver...wait, sorry, the discount's down here under "savings" rather than on the line item. Ta ra."?

Ferris

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 02, 2019, 07:08:55 PM
I've heard in some cases, back in the 70's/80's when beer was a murky brown rather than golden, it was often cold tea.

You can get beer in some places after hours by asking for a pot of cold tea. I've never been anywhere trendy or outré enough to try it. Plus I go to normal places that sell beer at normal times. Not related to the main point but interesting all the same https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cold%20tea

Quote from: zomgmouse on February 03, 2019, 11:37:23 PM
This kind of makes sense from a licensing/branding point of view. Probably costs too much to actually get to say a company's name. Which is kind of bullshit but also why give them free advertising anyway? Alternatively to simulate the reality of ordering drinks by name just make up a name.

Don't they do this in corrie/'Enders?

Mister Six

Quote from: Phil_A on February 02, 2019, 03:34:11 PM
Hmm, I definitely seen that done as a gag, possibly in a Zucker Brothers joint, where someone opens a magazine and a torrent of about five hundred leaflets pour out. Anyone remember where this was?

Naked Gun 3, when Frank's in the supermarket at the start?

St_Eddie

Quote from: zomgmouse on February 03, 2019, 11:37:23 PM
This kind of makes sense from a licensing/branding point of view. Probably costs too much to actually get to say a company's name. Which is kind of bullshit but also why give them free advertising anyway?

This can be the case sometimes but more often than not, movies will make use of product placement, whereupon a company will pay the filmmakers to feature their product, with that money being used to bolster the production budget.

samadriel

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 03, 2019, 03:34:15 PM
It may be sad porn though.

I once saw an amateur video with 'Clubbed to Death' by Rob D as the soundtrack.  Saddest porn I ever saw.

touchingcloth

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on February 03, 2019, 11:58:52 PM
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cold%20tea

QuoteRefers to the practice of receiving alcohol (particularly beer) after legal serving hours. Specifically a practice in Toronto, in Chinatown. Generic and common brand beer is served in a teapot, so as to avoid detection from the authorities

Desolation.