Author Topic: Raising a concern about today's trousers.  (Read 317 times)

shiftwork2

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Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« on: February 07, 2019, 08:31:35 PM »
Anyone can raise a concern about today's trousers. This includes members of the public, employers, the police and other organisations.

If you are unhappy with the care or service you have received from a trouser, it is usually best to tell the trouser or other management staff at their place of work.

Our Standards of Conduct, Performance and Ethics set out the standards we set for all of our trousers, stating in broad terms our expectations of their behaviour and conduct.

A concern has been raised about Nike Dri-Fit Calibre Pant.  During the course of its employment as a trouser at Wiltshire County Council between 27 May 2016 and 20 April 2018, it:
1. did not:
a) Discharge its duties as a valued piece of apparel
b) Follow up a request for flatus ventilation between January 2017 to April 2018.

The Panel today concluded that there was no material change to undermine the previous decision. The trouser has not provided any evidence of remediation or insight, or provided the information which the previous Panel suggested might be of assistance. Therefore, the Panel today was of the view that in light of the absence of remediation or insight, garment will be subject to a Suspension Order for a period of 3 months.

Upcoming hearings:
Adidas ClimaCool Three-Stripe Trousers
Oakley Agility Trousers
PING Tycoon golf chinos


ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2019, 08:37:16 PM »
This is why I wear last year's

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2019, 12:07:22 AM »
This is a modern tragedy. Please set up a crowdfunding page and we will get you new trousers.

I cannot believe how this tory government is now making god-fearing folks like yourself walk around in nothing but your knickers. #gtto. (get the trousers out)

Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2019, 09:45:25 AM »
Yet another Common Purpose toothless quango full to the brim with overpaid mediocre performers.

We need direct trouser action.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2019, 02:18:42 PM »
Wallace from Wallace & Gromit leaves thread etc....

Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2019, 02:30:44 PM »
What do you mean? I've been wearing these jeans all week.

shiftwork2

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Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2019, 05:19:54 PM »
What do you mean? I've been wearing these jeans all week.

Thank you for your interest in trouser regulation.  Please re-submit your concern using the proper garment nomenclature i.e. a jean.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2019, 05:32:13 PM »
Presumably a trouser is a hoop of material capable of sheathing most of a leg.

What I want to know is who the fuck do they think they are

Who the fuck do they think they are

Dex Sawash

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Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2019, 03:54:18 AM »

Re: Raising a concern about today's trousers.
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2019, 10:20:44 AM »
I got this last week at work-
   

          It has come to my attention that staff have been regularly flouting trouser turn-up regulation during work hours. If I may remind employees of paragraph 19, section 8c of the 2018 Health and Mafety manual, 2018 it clearly states;

            The stipulation for a full width turn-up shall not exceed three eighths of an inch (including crenulations), or 2.9% of the the lower leg measurement from the knee downwards, whichever is the lesser. Should a cotton/ polyester fabric be in effect, the measurement may rise to 4.5 eighths of an inch, but only if the turn-up is cleaned of any residual fluff build-up at least once a day in British Summertime, and twice a week during the Winter months, with special attention being paid to stippling.

          In addition to this, the front elevation of the turn-up may never exceed 30 degrees when seated in a swivel chair. This comes into effect on the 13.00 hours of lunchtime. Any employees found flouting this clear directive will face severe consequences like I will yank your pants down in the canteen and point and have a good laugh.

          Do not ignore this directive!

Mr. Genial Wanker, General Manager