Author Topic: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)  (Read 1662 times)

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Hi all,
Earlier today i picked a load of masticated cheese and onion mccoys out of my right molars using my house keys.
When was the last time you were a disgusting twat?
(I know we've probably had a thread like this before but i'm not good at google.)
Cheers,
ALW

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2019, 11:23:36 PM »
Don't worry, I always find it a delight to see more threads about how repulsive other posters are. Genuinely one of my favourite things, it makes me feel so superior that I've never shat myself.

I have brushed my teeth...once this year.

BUT I've never shat myself. Or pissed myself.

Cerys

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2019, 11:25:09 PM »
I recently dropped a blob of whipped cream on the sofa.  The liberally-coated-with-cat-hair sofa.  I picked up the aforementioned cream and ate it.  I choose to believe that by some miracle the cream remained uncontaminated by moggy.

kittens

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2019, 11:28:22 PM »
i do BIG BLAST out my nose all the time. shove one nostril shut iwth my finger and just blow hard out my chod wherever i am. i do this at work, at my house, at my girelfriends house. where ever i go it is caked with my snod. dont give a shit. doesnt make noone ill. people moan about it but i aint gonna change am i i'm almost thirty for pete;s sake. cheers

ToneLa

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2019, 11:30:10 PM »
Was proper chunky sticky sick in a San Miguel glass last week and upon waking up fucked and remembering washed it out and drank from it the next day and there was a bit of scummy lip-mark around the rim.

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2019, 11:40:16 PM »
I have done some gross, fucked up shit in my time but I will admit that I HAVE eaten a Pot Noodle.

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2019, 11:42:16 PM »
I have done some gross, fucked up shit in my time but I will admit that I HAVE eaten a Pot Noodle.

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Lost Oliver

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2019, 11:43:18 PM »
Drank a can of lager that I'd been using as an ash tray. Fucking disgusting. Felt like I had little silver fish swimming around down my throat for about an hour after.

Lost Oliver

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2019, 11:44:33 PM »
Had a shit in a bucket, got scared and didn't know where to put it, ran to a nearby train track and threw it on there.

^ 28 I was.

Lost Oliver

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2019, 11:46:37 PM »
Scratching around for weed once and decided ti would be a good idea to just scour the floors of the streets because 'there is bound to be SOME weed on the floor somewhere'. Just ended up smoking bits of grass and glass.

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2019, 12:13:19 AM »
Reminds me of one- staying in a remote caravan, thought, "fuck it, TODAY I'm going to quit smoking". Got my tobacco pouch, opened it, sprayed cheap deodorant into it for about ten seconds, then took the tobacco out, and threw it out of the door into the rain and mud, went to bed... I don't really need to finish that story do I?

ToneLa

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2019, 12:15:34 AM »
Scratching around for weed once and decided ti would be a good idea to just scour the floors of the streets because 'there is bound to be SOME weed on the floor somewhere'. Just ended up smoking bits of grass and glass.

Done that but my own carpet and Moroccan hash. Usually works too! Wish I didn't also end up smoking bits of glass...

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2019, 08:04:31 AM »
I had a chippie tea recently where there were TOO MANY CHIPS so I popped the remnants in the food waste caddie. I had a joint later that same night, and my fuggy brain encouraged me to graze on bin chips. No egg shells or teabags or cumshots had been placed in the caddie after my chips so it wasn’t as grotesque as it could have been, but it was grotesque enough that I acknowledged it to myself in the moment I was doing it. I didn’t stop, but I did recognise.

Nowhere Man

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #13 on: February 08, 2019, 08:44:08 AM »
I'll eat any old takeaway even if its not been properly refrigerated, my train of thought being I fucking paid for it, i'll still eat 2 day old pizza who cares.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2019, 08:53:55 AM »
When I was really, really ill with first ever bout of tonsilitis instead of constantly going back and forth to the sink in the bathroom downstairs I kept what was effectively a spitoon, and only cleared it out after noticing it was actually starting to smell.


Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2019, 10:18:58 AM »
Hi all,
Earlier today i picked a load of masticated cheese and onion mccoys out of my right molars using my house keys.
When was the last time you were a disgusting twat?
(I know we've probably had a thread like this before but i'm not good at google.)
Cheers,
ALW

Why didn't you use your finger nails you disgusting twat?

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2019, 10:22:18 AM »
[ tag ] Spanish Fall fan and completist leaves thread disappointed [ tag ]

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2019, 10:30:40 AM »
Many a time I have used my small finger to scoop up instantly spilled sauce/curry etc from the table, fuck it I say, evolution of the gut works.

Dropped a cigarette on the floor(my last one) a week ago, picked it up to my colleagues displeasure, smoked it, still alive(will get one of those cancers though).

Puce Moment

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2019, 11:02:47 AM »
Many years ago I made a joint from the butt-ends of my stoner neighbours' joints they smoked all day outside a barbershop in Brixton.

Scooped them up, broken them apart, shoved the charcoal weed into a rizla. Smoked it.

Tasted of beer, burnt hair and baby shit.

Norton Canes

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2019, 11:11:31 AM »
Can't say.

Nowhere Man

  • Yeah mate would love a brew, cheers x
Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2019, 11:46:14 AM »
I'm assuming pissing in the sink goes without saying, right?

Right guys.......?

....?


Norton Canes

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2019, 12:07:31 PM »
What happens in the accessible toilet stays in the accessible toilet. 

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2019, 12:08:51 PM »
This coincides with a thread I posted a few weeks back.

I got drunk and puked in bed in my sleep. When I woke up around 3:00AM I simply pulled all the puke encrusted bedding off the mattress, stripped all my soggy clothes off, and went back to sleep in the nude on the bare mattress, sort of folding myself around the wet patch...

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #24 on: February 08, 2019, 12:10:52 PM »
What happens in the accessible toilet stays in the accessible toilet.

Surely that most applies to the inaccessible toilet?

Flouncer

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2019, 12:11:48 PM »
I live in an old Victorian terraced house. In my bedroom there is a lovely cast iron fireplace with a grate. Last month I had the worst cold I've ever had, with snot coming out of my nostrils like a dripping tap; I eventually resorted to bunging screwed up bits of tissue into each nostril and replacing them when they got saturated. I was getting through two or three boxes of tissues a day, much more than my bin could handle, and I took to throwing my used tissues into the fireplace grate. It soon overflowed and turned into a massive heap of snotrags spewing forth from the fireplace - rather than emptying it I decided to see how high I could get "snot mountain". At its height it almost engulfed the fireplace, spreading out along the wall on either side. Once the cold had subsided and I could no longer justify being such a feckless waster, I had to bag it up and it almost filled a large black bin bag.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #26 on: February 08, 2019, 12:14:11 PM »
It's a shame you can't get loperamide hydrochloride for the fucking schnozz

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #27 on: February 08, 2019, 12:20:30 PM »
Scratching around for weed once and decided ti would be a good idea to just scour the floors of the streets because 'there is bound to be SOME weed on the floor somewhere'. Just ended up smoking bits of grass and glass.

This ones an absolute cunt when you're desperate. I like to smoke on my back doorstep, so I've been there before myself - fiending for just the tiniest bit of bud, unravelling soggy old roaches and scraping the fuck out of them under the illusion the black bits must have some fucking residue in them I've ventured into the back lawn many a time and convinced myself that those little sticky ball things from weeds clinging to my trouser leg are bits of misplaced bud. The worst one is when you've been using green Rizla packets for roach materiel only to find the old thing months later and end up smoking fragments of green laminate because you're determined that the green bits are bits of weed that slipped through.

pancreas

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Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #28 on: February 08, 2019, 12:22:31 PM »
I'm assuming pissing in the sink goes without saying, right?

Right guys.......?

....?

Pissing in the sink, shitting in the shower, vomiting into the microwave, bleeding into the toaster, snotting into the detergent drawer of the washing machine.

Yes. All these are fine.

Re: Grotesquos Extra (the "Examples of you being a disgusting twat" thread)
« Reply #29 on: February 08, 2019, 12:25:18 PM »
I've always used the term 'Ghostbusting' for those sordid times where you find yourself on your hands and knees searching for drug scraps. Friends have been known to start singing the theme to me when the madness starts.