Topic: What was your first ever post on this forum and what did it say?

[Johnny Textface]

I don't remember doing this. It's not very funny and inspired a page or two of mild smile puns. I appear to have thought that the word 'waste' should have been highlighted.

[king_tubby]

My friends in Dublin call one euro a quid still. Though according to them the plural of euro is euro. As in, that record is 10 euro.  I'm not too sure about that one.

[Konki]

I don't know but I'm currently at the hospital wanking into a pot for medical reasons so I'll ask once I've washed my hands.

Hello, this is my first post.

First of five IVF attempts. Baby finally due next month.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Heh heh...Donald.

This is about the tenth thing I posted with this pseudonym, in 2004.

[king_tubby]

First of five IVF attempts. Baby finally due next month.

Nice one!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

First of five IVF attempts. Baby finally due next month.

Hope you let your daughter know how much semen it took until she arrived. Gallons love. Gallons.

[Konki]

Nice one!

Cheer, King T.

Hope you let your daughter know how much semen it took until she arrived. Gallons love. Gallons.

For my next project I'm going to try to work it out. Thanks for the idea.

[biggytitbo]

Brexit sucks

[ToneLa]

Proud to say after lurking, reading and loving, I jumped straight into Legend Gary (not literally, you fuckin poof ToneLa):

Say what you will about his virulent Paki-bashing, crass nationalism or petty theft: when Leg Gar proves how well he cuts a rug (sometimes literally if she's 'smuggling a carpet through customs' , eh, Viz readers?) but you'd have to fight through four rows of ten of his mates (you figure it out) at the Dog and Bucket to disregard his veritable dancing skills.

Cause I can fuckin dance, Da, alright? Like Travolta with dyslexia.

How naive I was then, 5 weeks ago or so. Nowadays I'd call the pub "The Slag and Bucket"

[St_Eddie]

My first post was in the 'Back to the Future: Part II' thread, replying to a forum user who unironically stated that in the alternate universe, "the school principle is literally Hitler"...

Whilst I vaguely agree with your overall sentiment, the school principle is categorically not "literally Hitler".  He is however, literally; a nasty, vicious, gun-toting school principle.  That is unless I missed a sequel where Principle Strickland traveled back in time and committed genocide[nb]'Back to the Führer'[/nb]?!

Complete with the no longer functioning footnote code and all.

[Cuellar]

I closed the window three questions in, so angry did the questions make me.

What does that mean?

Dunno

[græskar]

Hello! I've only just registered, but I've been reading these forums for quite a long time, like a creep. I tried to register once before, but it wasn't allowed and I concluded it's because you're a very cool closed club and no commoner can simply jump in.

I live in Poland and have never been to the UK, nor anywhere else for that matter (except Germany). But ever since I learned English in highschool semi-properly, I've been sort of living on British comedy. It has been a window into the British culture for me. I have no TV at home and don't know anything about Polish popculture, which has led to a strange situation in which I'm completely unable to relate to people around me but have a vague notion of who Bill Oddie is.

[purlieu]

This gets a bump because it really, really needs to be released. I've emailed everyone - four BBC addresses, Dylan Moran's management and tour manager, someone who was something to do with Charlotte Coleman. The BBC said they weren't sure it would sell enough, Moran's tour manager said he'd pass it on. Heh.

I literally joined because I wanted to talk about How Do You Want Me? being released on DVD (it eventually came out around a year later).

Then I carried on posting. Big mistake.

[shiftwork2]

Phantom Starlight Les surely?

*half man half biscuit*

Quite proud of this.  Like having Kings Of The Wild Frontier as your first album instead of Abba's Greatest Hits Vol II, for example.  JUST FOR AN EXAMPLE

[Small Man Big Horse]

My first ever post was lost in the great board crash of 2004 (thank god) but the first as Small Man Big Horse was:

Thanks to That Mitchell and Webb Look, I keep on finding myself humming the Dick Barton tune from the Sir Digby Caesar Chicken sketch whenever I'm dashing around trying to do too many things at once. It's annoying me now, but I can't stop doing it.

And that bastard "Where Do We Go From Here" song from the Buffy musical episode keeps coming out whenever I'm driving somewhere and we get lost.

I don't like my brains.

In shock news I now do finally like my brains, but it took about twelve years to get to that point.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

my first post was some absolutely embarrassing pseudo intellectual nonsense that im too ashamed to reproduce here

2011 so i must have been 18 at the time and it definitely reads like it

[machotrouts]

Fine thanks

[SteveDave]

Can't believe nobody's mentioned Unbreakable in this thread. Enjoyed it all until the last 2 minutes.

[Avril Lavigne]

I have no idea, I had a different username for the first 15 years but I don't remember what it was as I lurked much more than I posted.  When enough time passed between signing out and forgetting my original username I had to re-register with something easier to remember.  Quite the origin story.

[PlanktonSideburns]

One less fucking gig before I cark it

Lionel Richie thinks, blanking his keyboardist as he passes him in the corridor

[Avril Lavigne]

My first ever post was lost in the great board crash of 2004 (thank god) but the first as Small Man Big Horse was:

I like the fact that you were still posting about Buffy just a week ago. :)

[kittens]

2009. get vertigo reading those posts. i used capital letters back then. 2013 was when i first got pissed to post on here, never looked back.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I like the fact that you were still posting about Buffy just a week ago. :)

I shall now ensure that my last ever post will be about Buffy too. :)

[Cold Meat Platter]

first post



1. You titanic drunkard!

2. What a twatting tit!

3. Your face looks like a malnourished collection of geese.

4. You're behaving like a corn-fed cunt.

5. The newspaper described his performance as usual.

6. The most notable thing about her was her yeast-laden breath, which put me in mind of the 12-15th December 1952.

7. When looking for words to describe his political career, appropriate would be the most appropriate

8. They made a rather eerily faint couple.

9. He was plainly a back-from-the-dead-cyborg policeman.

10. The only person in the history of Leicestershire mental health to have written on his diagnosis sheet: Jesus

A call to adjectives in template form by Shoulders?-Stomach!

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Hello, I'm new.
Please like me.

[Mister Six]

On Janet Jackson's nipple:

Pff, lame publicity stunt. http://www.drudgereport.com/mattjj.htm

Good job she was wearing a shiny nipple thing to stop it from being "proper" nudity, eh?

Embarrassing. I assume before I knew what Drudge Report was.

That's only the first post on this iteration of the board though, as it was wiped in 2004. Actual first post would have been in 2002 or so.

[St_Eddie]

Hello, I'm new.
Please like me.

And like you we did.

[icehaven]

Absolutely agree,  I can think of at least 4 moments that would have been so much better if I hadn't recognised them from the trailer. A less traditional trailer would have suited better anyway. Generally I though it was terrific, and as though my thoughts had been thoroughly meddled with afterwards, which is exactly what I was expecting and hoping for. And it was definitely very, very funny too.
One thing I did think was in very poor taste though was being expected, twice, to laugh at 'Dancing in the Moonlight'. There's really nothing funny about that at all. Plenty of us still remember the awful scenes in London a few years ago involving Jamie Oliver and Sainsburys, and I think it's still a bit soon to be joking about it.   

About Four Lions I think.

[mothman]

I thought this would be a useful place to lurk! I've been wondering about paying about £100 all in for the magazine set, when I could make do with a DVD box set and that <i>Prisoner</i> book (penned by a brace o' Frenchies, yar) - the latter which I already have. So you've saved me some money. Thanks! Er, I'll shut up now. . .

About as interesting as anything I’ve ever posted here.

[Butchers Blind]

Think of all the extra jobs this will make if we "Bring Back Hanging" - rope makers, cloth hood makers, trap door makers, etc.  Good times ahead.

They never did bring it back.