Author Topic: One of my favourite songs about genitals  (Read 616 times)

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
One of my favourite songs about genitals
« on: February 09, 2019, 09:28:53 PM »
It's definitely in the top 5 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DzS_hCg6bQ

Quote
Penis. Is what boys have down in front.
Penis. Is the word though it seems blunt.
All boys have a penis, so no matter what you've heard,
remember that penis, is the proper word.

Vulva. Is what girls have down below.
Vulva, when shes naked it will show.
All girls have a vulva, so no matter what you've heard,
remember that vulva, is the proper word.

Both boys and girls have breasts,
each person recognizes.
They're found upon our chests,
and grow to different sizes.

Our anus, is a useful thing indeed.
The anus, gives relief in time of need.
We all have an anus, so no matter what you've heard,
remember that anus, is the proper word.

So don't be appalled,
'cause that's what they're called,
and each of them's a proper word!

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2019, 09:37:43 PM »
I would. have thought the colon. and stomach do most of the work.

Sherringford Hovis

  • ┌∩┐(ᵔᴥᵔ)┌∩┐
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2019, 09:46:57 PM »
From e.m.m.y. on b3ta:

Isn't it awfully nice to have a mimsy?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a bush?
It's swell to have a pussy.
It's divine to own a chuff.
From the tiniest lady garden,
To the world's biggest muff.

So, three cheers for your fabulous vagina.
Hooray for your hoochie coochie friend.
Your lady bits, your cha-cha-cha,
Your cherry, or your box.
You can pierce it or tattoo it,
Or fill it full of cocks.
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock.
And you won't come back.


Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
  • **
  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2019, 09:51:06 PM »
It's definitely in the top 5 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DzS_hCg6bQ

Not one of Mark Steel's better works.

My favourite genital related song is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z13qnzUQwuI - I'm still not convinced it isn't Chris Morris in (not much of a) disguise.

Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2019, 09:57:35 PM »
From e.m.m.y. on b3ta:

Isn't it awfully nice to have a mimsy?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a bush?
It's swell to have a pussy.
It's divine to own a chuff.
From the tiniest lady garden,
To the world's biggest muff.

So, three cheers for your fabulous vagina.
Hooray for your hoochie coochie friend.
Your lady bits, your cha-cha-cha,
Your cherry, or your box.
You can pierce it or tattoo it,
Or fill it full of cocks.
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock.
And you won't come back.

Pretty much stolen from Monty Python no?

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2019, 10:04:21 PM »
It was genuinely educational to me that the entirety of a ladies 'downstairs department' is called the vulva though, and the vagina is only a part of that.


So the song had done its job. Thanks Fonzi - Thonzi (also a part of the vulva).

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2019, 10:06:13 PM »
Pretty much stolen from Monty Python no?

Been around for quite a while that - I've seen it on other forums.

IIRC it originated on some old Usenet group or summat when there was a discussion about all the funny sex songs being about cocks and/or from a bloke's perspective, so someone intentionally took the Penis Song and reworded it for the female market without altering the flow. 

So not so much stolen as repurposed by request.

Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2019, 10:19:22 PM »
Been around for quite a while that - I've seen it on other forums.

IIRC it originated on some old Usenet group or summat when there was a discussion about all the funny sex songs being about cocks and/or from a bloke's perspective, so someone intentionally took the Penis Song and reworded it for the female market without altering the flow. 

So not so much stolen as repurposed by request.

Yeah but Python did that song about the penis AND the vagina and the arsehole. Pretty sure.

Sherringford Hovis

  • ┌∩┐(ᵔᴥᵔ)┌∩┐
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2019, 10:22:40 PM »
Pretty much stolen from Monty Python no?

OP credits Python, so...

Cerys

  • Bionic-Arsed
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Cyber Engineered Ravaged Yakking System
    • The Brainwrongs of Cerys
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2019, 02:03:58 AM »
Folk songs are jam-packed with genitals.  The Bonny Black Hare, any references to a bird in a bush - it's all code.  Code for willies and mimsy woowoos.  All of it.

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2019, 02:48:41 AM »
Milk milk lemonade
Round the corner chocolate's made.

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2019, 02:54:49 AM »
And a very old one...

Ed McCurdy - "A Riddle" (from the album "When Dalliance Was In Flower")
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-UtmR-YnC8

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • it made more sense in my head i don't know
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2019, 04:50:02 AM »
Both boys and girls have breasts

That doesn't sound right. I'm a boy, and I don't have breasts.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2019, 09:20:10 AM »
Giant Thonzi Scheme

Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2019, 09:39:57 AM »
Do your balls hang low do they waggle to and fro can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them o'er your shoulder like a military solider because you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2019, 10:04:35 AM »
The penis vendor.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2YtTjV6YKB7IzV3LNqA3ri?si=hli1PtNhSjegeAxkAxCubA

In Cuba,
Each merry maid
Wakes up to
This serenade.
PEEEEEENIIIIIS!!!!

Johnny Yesno

  • You've been exploding frogs again
    • Lines Horizontal
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2019, 10:10:15 AM »

Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2019, 10:40:59 AM »
Oh, my genitals!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2FnMk44sAg

Came here to post this! The appearance on New Wave Theatre is more striking visually imo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAQtNyF_TUM

Johnny Yesno

  • You've been exploding frogs again
    • Lines Horizontal
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2019, 11:13:56 AM »
Came here to post this! The appearance on New Wave Theatre is more striking visually imo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAQtNyF_TUM

Agreed. Su Tissue, in particular, looks amazing.

Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2019, 02:08:42 PM »
Here's a welsh one from my yoof. Not sure how the tune went.

Ar y ffordd i fynd i Sbaen,
Gwelais gont, yn sownd mewn chaen,
Deilion poethion 'n tyfi rownd hi,
Nadu hogia drwg fynd ati.

daf

  • Is this for posh knob 'eads?
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2019, 02:37:33 PM »
Not sure how the tune went.

Tried it with Jealous Guy - seems to fit OK:

(on the way to go to Spa-i-i-in
I saw a C**t sound in a cha-i-i-in . . )


Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2019, 02:41:12 PM »
That doesn't sound right. I'm a boy, and I don't have breasts.

Give it twenty years. They will come in time.

daf

  • Is this for posh knob 'eads?
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2019, 02:48:59 PM »
XTC - Pink Thing : (KNOB)

Anytime you rise, I'm here and I'm crazy for you pink thing
You make me want to laugh, you make me want to cry
When I stroke your head I feel a hundred heartbeats high
Ooh, pink thing

I want to take you out and show you 'round the world
Pink thing it'll be okay
If I could only wake you from your slumber curled
Pink thing what would straight folks say?

That man isn't fit to enter heaven
That man is a sinner, ever burning in disgrace
Pink thing, spit in my face, I'd love you for it

- - - -
XTC - Wonder Annual : (FOOF)

Open up your Wonder Annual
turn on the leaves of your private book
open up your Wonder Annual
and if i may can I lay and look?
At the gold and the silver
that will fly from your hands

Hands of ripper
pours paint stripper
toasting the worms in their shallow graves
draw your blinds down
sketch an unfrown
show me the door through which all are saved

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2019, 08:09:38 AM »
Yeah but Python did that song about the penis AND the vagina and the arsehole. Pretty sure.

Yes the version including the female genitals is definitely in the Python reunion show.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • it made more sense in my head i don't know
Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2019, 11:27:42 AM »
Here's a welsh one from my yoof. Not sure how the tune went.

Ar y ffordd i fynd i Sbaen,
Gwelais gont, yn sownd mewn chaen,
Deilion poethion 'n tyfi rownd hi,
Nadu hogia drwg fynd ati.

Which one of these words is the rudey one?

Re: One of my favourite songs about genitals
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2019, 12:10:02 PM »
Which one of these words is the rudey one?

Cont - which in this instance is softly mutated to gont.
For completeness, the nasal mutation would be nghont.