Author Topic: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground  (Read 1289 times)

Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« on: February 10, 2019, 02:42:53 AM »
It's been three hours now and I already know it won't give me the shits tomorrow. I feel invincible.

Please share times you've diced with death when inebriated and have or have not benefited from the wager. Thread is supposed to be specifically takeaway related but I'll take any examples of really pushing it.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2019, 02:55:36 AM »
I've never had food poisoning, I've 'opened the dam' shall we say the next morning, and I've eaten in many a  dodgy place abroad and at home.

Had hotpot(Sezchuan Chinese not Lancashire)the other night,it was split down the middle, one side was tomato based broth, the other was top level  sezchuan spicy, had it many times before. I was fine, but my girlfriend and her father who ate the tomato side only spent the night in the bathroom (different bathrooms).

Sorry not a takeaway anecdote, but the bowel and stomach problems were takeaway for them.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2019, 02:59:09 AM »
That post would be 3000% more effective if your old avatar still worked!

BlodwynPig

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2019, 03:46:15 AM »
If this was New York, you'd be shrugging.

Bennett Brauer

  • I'm not "likeable"
Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2019, 03:51:03 AM »
[tag]Prefab Sprout: the early demos[/tag]

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2019, 07:23:19 AM »
Dead soon

Lost Oliver

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2019, 09:10:47 AM »
Had my first ring sting in May last year and the man behind the counter splayed way too much chilli oil over my bog standard cheese and tomato pizza. I'd never understood what people meant before when they said it hurt just as much going in and it did coming out.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2019, 09:40:55 AM »
One time when I was really trashed, I ate a hot dog, then a jumping frog. Believe this was in New Mexico

🐶 🐸 🇺🇸

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2019, 11:23:16 AM »
One time when I was really trashed, I ate a hot dog, then a jumping frog. Believe this was in New Mexico

🐶 🐸 🇺🇸
Oh No, don't blame New Mexico.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2019, 12:16:02 PM »
Feelin' fine!

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2019, 12:43:30 PM »
I've always avoided those carts in the middle of nowhere on the side of an A-road (cos where do they go to the loo and wash their hands), so I've never really taken that much of a risk, however I can relay one noteworthy experience from about 12 or 13 years ago.  Me and Mrs Nose had just come out of a gig at the Bristol Bierkeller which finished late, and we were both hungry.  The only place still open was one of the chicken and kebab places in the vicinity of the Hippodrome (for those that know Bristol).  At the time this place (which was still open when I was last in Bristol last summer) also did pizza, so we shared a large double pepperoni and cheese and ate it whilst walking back to the car.  About halfway home Mrs Nose said her tummy was a-gurgling and felt like she needed a shit.  And it was downhill from there... We made it home but by then I started feeling sick.  We went our separate toilet ways (we had two toilets in that house) and Mrs Nose was basically shitting hot painful water and I was puking.  Unfortunately I also then had bum rumbles and had to stop myself from singing into the Shanks pan so I could drop my guts from my arse.  Doubly unfortunately I was still feeling sick, so I had to grab the bathroom bin and started puking into that.  At one point I was puking and shitting at exactly the same time.  In hindsight it was funny, but at the time I really did not feel too clever.  Anyway, after the worst had passed me and Mrs Nose were in and out of the toilet - almost wrestling tag-team - for the next few hours until it eventually passed.

Suffice to say the next morning the house needed airing out and we were both physically and mentally exhausted, as well as severely dehydrated.  Amazingly, though, there were no accidental sprays anywhere other than the toilets and bin (which had a sturdy liner in it).

We talked about whether or not we should say anything or get in touch with environmental health, but arsed mate, cigs.

But that's the only time I've puke and shit at the same time.  And I was probably crying as well.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2019, 12:53:53 PM »
But that's the only time I've puke and shit at the same time.  And I was probably crying as well.
Has anyone ever puked, pissed and shit at the same time? There must be some fantastic stories out there.

My stomach is as weak as can be - the hint of anything vaguely spicy and my stomach rejects within minutes, though usually through hoying it back up. Though I did get a stomach bug a year ago that I hold my infant nephews responsible for, which was perhaps the most unpleasant few hours I'd had in some time, especially as it hit while at work and I had to chance the 30 minute trip home clenching my arse shut tight - I remember being sat on the tram sweating profusely, unable to give up my seat to some old dear and feeling incredibly guilty about it. 

Probably the quickest way to lose eight pounds of weight I've ever experienced, in any case.

Cuntbeaks

  • Guess who's coming to dinner?
Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2019, 01:46:26 PM »
I was caught in no mans land one night and had to jump over a 6ft wall beside the railway in order to evacuate litres upon litres of spicy wretched bum gravy. Had to use my boxer shorts to wipe down, just as a train slowly trundled past. I was past the point of caring..

Managed to make it home and got myself washed and into some lovely clean jammies. About two minutes later it started to kick off again and i needed to be sick. So i knelt down at the toilet and puked, the force of which caused another litre of spicy gruel to propel out of my arse into the clean jammies. Some piss dribbled out as well.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2019, 04:13:18 PM »
One time when I was really trashed, I ate a hot dog, then a jumping frog. Believe this was in New Mexico

🐶 🐸 🇺🇸

so much better than girls and cars

Twed

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2019, 05:34:56 PM »
Has anyone ever puked, pissed and shit at the same time?
Let's Change, We've Hurled with Poo Sick

ToneLa

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2019, 05:36:27 PM »
Tags: Madness song titles really plumbing the depths nowadays

non capisco

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #16 on: February 10, 2019, 09:29:41 PM »
I've never once in my years of existence had this 'ring sting' experience that everyone laments the morning after a night of spicy food. I do get acid reflux even looking at a bottle of wine these days so I'm not exactly sailing through life on a charmed rug but a hot curry has mercifully never once turned my anus into Sauron's eye.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2019, 09:53:25 PM by non capisco »

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #17 on: February 10, 2019, 09:40:40 PM »
I've never had food poisoning, I've 'opened the dam' shall we say the next morning, and I've eaten in many a  dodgy place abroad and at home.

Fucking hell, having the shits is nothing to do with Food Poisoning.  If you have food poisoning, not only do you genuinely feel like you are dying, you are begging for death to escape the agonising stomach cramps, fever and non-stop shitting/projectile vomiting.

I once had food poisoning twice in one week.  Just as I got better from a dodgy Scotch Egg, I went to a Barbecue and got ill again.  My own fault I suppose.

Captain Z

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2019, 09:47:33 PM »
I'm telling Turkish Bob about you. He don't like people getting nosy on his meat.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2019, 10:10:11 PM »
Fucking hell, having the shits is nothing to do with Food Poisoning.  If you have food poisoning, not only do you genuinely feel like you are dying, you are begging for death to escape the agonising stomach cramps, fever and non-stop shitting/projectile vomiting.

I once had food poisoning twice in one week.  Just as I got better from a dodgy Scotch Egg, I went to a Barbecue and got ill again.  My own fault I suppose.

there are different degrees of food poisioning. that curry you had after closing time that didn't make you vomit but made you do 5 shits is the mild kind.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2019, 02:52:17 AM »
Cheese gets me squirting like an Uzi these days, were all those years eating Red Leicester sandwiches as a child all for nothing?

Lost Oliver

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2019, 07:44:42 AM »
I had food poisoning once and it really was terrible. I just wasn't in control of my body. I remember waking at about 3 am, desperate for a shit, went to the toilet, shat and then puked and then just lied on the floor in the bathroom in agony shitting and spewing. To make it worse I was at Mrs LO's parents house so her mum came in midway through to look after me. In normal circumstances I'd have been unbelievably embarrassed but I just didn't have time to feel anything so continued to shit on the floor.

Z

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2019, 07:52:10 AM »
I've had food poisoning a few times, usually just a few bouts of downing water to throw it back up and then sleeping seem to do the job tbh. Helps to carry a bucket around with you all the time.

I've once had that super food poisononing, one of those salmonella type deals, that was about 4 days of feeling like I was on the verges of death, carefully planning my bouts of sleep around immodium tablets. Pretty sure my digestive system, especially my farts, have never been the same. Headed out to the shops on day 2 to get gear to deal with it all, remember being very impressed that the pharmacist was like "and who do you need this for?" instead of going with the obvious assumption when I came in dripping in sweat wearing the same clothes I had on for 48 hours demanding diarrhoea cures.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2019, 10:31:13 AM »
I'm just back from a bout of food poisoning.

On Monday night we had a couple o' three pizzas from Sainsbury's. My son wisely picked the meat off of his slices but my wife and I chomped them down. Cut to later that night and we're taking it in turns to chunder. Still going at 6pm the next day.

I went back to work on Thursday but made the mistake of having a McDonald's milkshake. In the afternoon my stomach had swollen up and that night I was pissing rusty water out of my anus from 1am to 6am.

I'm feeling great today though. Sainsbury's gave me a £10 gift voucher as, without any remaining bits of pizza to test they can't accept responsibility.

Better Midlands

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2019, 02:49:39 PM »
One time when I was really trashed, I ate a hot dog, then a jumping frog. Believe this was in New Mexico

🐶 🐸 🇺🇸

Lazy, teenage boast.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2019, 07:14:07 PM »
It's been three hours now and I already know it won't give me the shits tomorrow. I feel invincible.

Nothing compares to poo.

Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2019, 12:36:05 AM »
I'm just back from a bout of food poisoning.

On Monday night we had a couple o' three pizzas from Sainsbury's. My son wisely picked the meat off of his slices but my wife and I chomped them down. Cut to later that night and we're taking it in turns to chunder. Still going at 6pm the next day.

I went back to work on Thursday but made the mistake of having a McDonald's milkshake. In the afternoon my stomach had swollen up and that night I was pissing rusty water out of my anus from 1am to 6am.

I'm feeling great today though. Sainsbury's gave me a £10 gift voucher as, without any remaining bits of pizza to test they can't accept responsibility.

£10 voucher? Not bad, that's enough to buy some more pizzas.

non capisco

  • Don't wanna hear those vile trumpets anymore
Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2019, 12:54:08 AM »
I believe I've recounted on here on probably more than one occasion how I had a bout of food poisoning in my early teens that made me hallucinate Benny from ABBA winking and playing piano in my bedroom, the "der-DANG--der-DANG-der-DANG!" piano flourish from Dancing Queen becoming a non-diegetic aural cue to open up the sluice gates once more. That's when you know it's proper food poisoning, when you think you might actually die tragically early in full view of an incorporeal Swedish musician. I lucked out in a sense, I know someone who was similarly ill and hallucinated his mum and dad checking up on him as two Bungles peering round his bedroom door. Brrrr, no thanks. 


Re: Hot dog from a bloke with a cart outside Brixton underground
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2019, 08:48:23 AM »
£10 voucher? Not bad, that's enough to buy some more pizzas.

Hair of the dog on a pizza