If you could have a video of one (non-sexual) event in your life...

[Small Man Big Horse]

What would it be, and why? And yes, non-sexual, as otherwise all of the answers would be about breasts, I know you sick perverted lot far too well.

[kittens]

falling off my bike in 2016. not the famous one. i was cycling along with my cap on and the wind blew it off so naturally i slammed on the brakes and flew over the handlebars and crashed into the road. so it'd be a bloke bombing along, his hat flies off and he instantly flies over the handlebars. would be wicked to see.

[Dex Sawash]

Was it the famous red cap?

[bgmnts]

My death.

[holyzombiejesus]

T'd be quite cool to see yourself being born although I'd want my mam's fanny to be pixellated. So either that or the goal I scored seconds after running on the playground in my 2nd year of junior school. I arrived late so just dropped my bag on the touchline and sprinted in to the middle of the pitch, just in time to leap like a salmon, chest a loose ball and then volley it half the length of the pitch/ playground over my hapless classmate's despairing dive. Scenes. Ironically, I was actually a goalkeeper for the school team but I bet if Mr Martin had seen that beauty he'd have had me playing up front instead of the dastardly Nicholas Rogers.

[DrGreggles]

Mine would also be from my youth football days.
Scored a perfect hat trick in a cup match, the 3rd of which was a 25 yard half-volley with my (otherwise shit) left foot.
Never has anyone struck a ball so sweetly!
Probably should have retired after that.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I'm caught between two possibilities:

1) When I did Whose Line Is It Anyway? as part of my sixth form college's rag week. I have no idea why I was so confident when doing it, when I first did stand up in front of 20 people at best I was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, but here with a crowd of about 300 I just went out on stage and messed about for a bit. It's a weird event as I somehow went down really well (largely due to breaking the "No Swearing / Being Rude" rule within about twenty seconds) but it's a friends worst memory as he bombed and got booed off stage at one point.

2) My 22nd Birthday - Mostly as I missed much of the action as I was off kissing some girl, so I didn't get to see my ex going mental at my doing this, trying to seduce a female friend's now gay boyfriend, and an enormous amount of beer was thrown at various people and much shouting, screaming and hair pulling ensued. People still talk about that night to this day as it was so chaotic and weirdly funny, apparently.

[garnish]

Probably the first time channel 5 broadcast soft-core porn on a Friday evening.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Probably the first time channel 5 broadcast soft-core porn on a Friday evening.

A bit sexual that one, mate ( as was SMBH ' s second story in his most recent post, to be fair.)

[BlodwynPig]

slipping on the ice and breaking my back, only a dog saw it.

[Small Man Big Horse]

A bit sexual that one, mate ( as was SMBH ' s second story in his most recent post, to be fair.)

Nah, I don't want any footage of the kissing, just the craziness that broke out while I was doing it.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Some of the most memorable moments in my life (being a best man, doing a bungee jump) actually were recorded for posterity. Which is nice.

Although I have the resulting music and few photos, it would be nice to have a video of our short lived band's recording sessions.

Either that, or the time I was dancing so well (or so badly) at a nightclub, that some bloke approached me at the end of the night to tell me I had 'some moves'.

[Jockice]

Scoring four goals in five minutes for my Cubs' six-a-side team (7th Carlisle Currock Methodists) in our first game in the local cup competition in early 1976. I was mad keen on football but the week we had the trials for this I was off sick. However Akela thought I must have been a decent player because I loved the game so much, so named me as substitute for our first team (we had two in the contest) much to the disquiet of some others who had actually seen me playing.

Anyway, one of our team had to pull out on the day itself so I was in. And gave the performance of my life. It was like watching someone else doing it. I was briefly a hero. Then my dad turned up to watch me, which I always found offputting, and although I didn't play badly, I didn't score again even though we got through to the semi-finals. We were unfairly knocked out by a biased ref and that was that. But still...

As for sexual stuff, I don't think I'll ever better that time in the Travelodge in Exeter city centre. I've never managed anything like that before or since. I didn't know I had it in me. If you know what I mean, eh?

[garnish]

A bit sexual that one, mate ( as was SMBH ' s second story in his most recent post, to be fair.)

I only watch the films for the plot though.

[Jockice]

As for sexual stuff, I don't think I'll ever better that time in the Travelodge in Exeter city centre. I've never managed anything like that before or since. I didn't know I had it in me. If you know what I mean, eh?

It was actually a Premier Inn. They do better breakfasts.

[Golden E. Pump]

I'd like to know what exactly happened to me on that night when I was drugged and robbed by an American street gang in Minneapolis.

[biggytitbo]

When I broke the long jump world record aged 14 (not that I was particularly great at the long jump I just got really lucky)

[biggytitbo]

As for sexual stuff, I don't think I'll ever better that time in the Travelodge in Exeter city centre. I've never managed anything like that before or since. I didn't know I had it in me. If you know what I mean, eh?

The Krankies will never forget it either.

[Bazooka]

When I was voted best student on the last day of primary school, in my thirties I now question it, who voted, how did others feel, what did it even mean? I would want to see a video of it just to witness the reactions(not mine).

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

My death.

You spunk up when you die, so that would be classed as sexual. Or is it do your last plop? I forget.

[gib]

The time, many years ago, when i got arrested for kicking a policeman up the arse during a scuffle with the Met on one of the platforms at Hammersmith tube. I know i didn't do it, but i'd like to know if they made the whole thing up or if one of my mates booted the cunt and i got the blame.

[Jockice]

The Krankies will never forget it either.

They have. I drugged them beforehand.

[Icehaven]

Of the countless times I've been blackout pissed, although I'm mostly glad I don't remember what happened there's a few occasions I'd like to be able to see as I've been told I said and did things that I just can't imagine I would ever, ever have done. I'm not saying I definitely didn't, just that while I know I can be a state in that state, there's a few times I've apparently acted so completely out of character (not even particularly badly or anything, just not me) and by people who were plenty of sheets gone themselves, that it'd be useful, either way, to know the truth.

One particular occasion was a party at our then next door neighbour's flat, which ended with several gatecrashers, who'd just turned up and didn't know anyone, stealing a load of stuff from the hosts and a few other guests. When we were talking to our neighbours the next day, one of their friends claimed to have seen me heading out of the door carrying a large poster (can't remember what it was of) and stopped me and made me put it back. There's numerous reasons why I doubt this is remotely true, namely I'm not and never have been the thievin' kind, I had no interest in what the poster was of (can't remember now), I lived next door and we frequently visited each other's flats so I think they'd probably notice if their poster suddenly popped up on our wall, but mostly I had indeed drunk myself into a coma but I woke up exactly where I last remembered being, as if I hadn't moved, and no one else, including my flatmate who I'd been there with, had seen me move since passing out. No idea why this 'friend' of theirs was so determined to paint me as one of the thieves, possibly because the actual culprits were long gone and no one knew who they were so they were trying to force some connection between invited guests and the crashers, but whatever the reason I'd like to see just to check. If I was stealing it then subconscious apologies to my accuser but I'd put foldin' money I wasn't.

[SteveDave]

I'd like a video of a gig I did at an arts centre in Bath when the place was suddenly filled with police and firemen and I called them out from the stage in the style of the Blues Brothers. Not just for that bit.

I'd also like a video of the first (and only) time I did acid. I can remember snatches of what happened but I want to see myself lying at the bottom of the stairs watching my other self walking up the stairs getting to the bathroom, turning around and tutting. I also almost had a threesome with my house mate and a friend of his ex-boyfriend that night. It was all go.

[Harley_Quim]

The day I passed my driving test. Lost the memory of it in a decade of drug and drink abuse haze but still somehow have my license. It appears to be the real deal, but fuck knows how I got it.

[Cuellar]

The time I won a pair of trainers in a raffle at primary school and they were presented to me by Jet from Gladiators.

I want to know if it really happened or if I imagined it.

edit: It might have been Lightning, or some other one.

[maett]

I played one of only two live gigs in the mid 90s, would love footage of that as absolutely nothing exists and one of the band is no more and another went a bit doolally.
But I'd have to plump for my first day at school. 4 years old and according to my mum in floods of tears. So distraught was I that when my mum got home she rang the school to see if I'd settled down and was told I was laughing and playing with a train with another boy. I'd really love to see my mum as a young worried 24 year old and me bawling my eyes out as we part.