Author Topic: Insects #cancelled  (Read 889 times)

katzenjammer

  • Now we know...
Insects #cancelled
« on: February 11, 2019, 10:12:07 AM »
Happy monday morning!  Here's your obligatory 'we're doomed' thread.

Plummeting insect numbers 'threaten collapse of nature'

The 'collapse of nature' does sound like it might be a tad serious.  Anecdotally I have noticed a lot fewer insects around.  My mother in law lives in the middle of nowhere in rural France and we go there most summers.  It's been very noticeable the reduction in insects in the last few years.  When we started going there fifteen years ago you couldn't open a window in the evening if the light was on inside without being swarmed, these days it's no problem.

What are the chances that anyone does anything about this?

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2019, 10:30:30 AM »
YAY! Bring on the apocalypse.

So pleased for all those people with children.

SteveDave

  • My LPs are still for sale in all good record shops
    • BUY BUY BUY
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2019, 10:31:51 AM »
I'm sure the boffins will have a plan.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2019, 10:46:53 AM »
Can't they make nanobot insects yet like in that Black Mirror episode?

katzenjammer

  • Now we know...
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2019, 10:50:07 AM »
No need, just get poor people and their children to do it

Decline of bees forces China's apple farmers to pollinate by hand

Quote
In recent years, farmers have been forced to hand-pollinate their trees, carrying pots of pollen and paintbrushes with which to individually pollinate every flower, and using their children to climb up to the highest blossoms.


Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2019, 10:57:07 AM »
Fuck it who gives a fuck anymore. Cunts.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2019, 11:26:21 AM »
We survived two world wars we can survive no insects.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2019, 11:42:25 AM »
Yeah if you love insects so much why don't you go and live there

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2019, 11:42:50 AM »
Oh, bloody great, I'll have to go back to eating animals and vegetables

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2019, 11:45:24 AM »
Maybe they've just got better at hiding.

Butchers Blind

  • Toffee Crisp wrapper as a johnny
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2019, 11:47:43 AM »
It's the good people at Raid i feel sorry for.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2019, 11:51:51 AM »
It should be against the law to bonk your blood relatives anyway. About time they did something about it.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2019, 12:00:29 PM »
I remember when it was nothing but insects as far as the eye could see, nowadays its all just coffee shops and trainers.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2019, 12:06:00 PM »
We can all see what's happening, but westerners are too pig-headed to change even if they can see the sense in it. It's just another opportunity to complain about 'having it up to here' with the West being blamed for things - again, even if there's a part of them that knows it's not unwarranted.

Better to double down than to help secure the livelihoods of your grandchildren.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2019, 12:21:39 PM »
[ tag ] British Sea Power decide against entering thread, reasoning that it would be far too obvious [ tag ]

Paul Calf

  • She's mildly cretinous.
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Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2019, 12:25:03 PM »
We can all see what's happening, but westerners are too pig-headed to change even if they can see the sense in it. It's just another opportunity to complain about 'having it up to here' with the West being blamed for things - again, even if there's a part of them that knows it's not unwarranted.

Better to double down than to help secure the livelihoods of your grandchildren.

Sorry, but it's not just Westerners to blame. The expansion of the global middle class is wreaking havoc on the world.

thecuriousorange

  • WELCOME THRILLHOU
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2019, 12:35:17 PM »
But these are the new health fad.


Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2019, 12:39:37 PM »
The notion of being sick of hearing something (even if it's right) is a big part of the problem here, like it's the primary job of activists, journalists and philosophers to entertain you, or to wow you with a stylish performance of original or unusual ideas. You can feel badgered by something and yet it can be still be reasonable or helpful - and I'm sure there aren't many people, of those who complain about this kind of thing, who would disagree with that when it's put in those words.

Seriously, I think there are a lot of people going through life with an undiagnosed nagging complex. Ghost harridan at their ear.

Sorry, but it's not just Westerners to blame. The expansion of the global middle class is wreaking havoc on the world.

Absolutely, but the problem of overconsumption is mostly ours - I'm not sure what the stats are more recently, but the US, Europe, Australia and Japan were consuming more than 80% of the world's resources around 2011 - and we have to take a share of the blame for other countries wanting to emulate our destructive lifestyle and consumption patterns.

boki

  • Defecranium
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2019, 01:11:59 PM »
No plague of locusts, then?  Cuh, it's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain any kind of investment in present-day dystopia.

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2019, 01:28:12 PM »
But these are the new health fad.



Another liberal wank fantasy pedalled by the ecologically retarded BBC

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2019, 01:41:31 PM »
Can't they just find some new insects? I have loads under my lawnmower if they want those.

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2019, 02:16:36 PM »
Can't they just find some new insects? I have loads under my lawnmower if they want those.

Didnt you once want to strap a saddle and harnass to a bee, like with a horse?

Youre part of the problem

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2019, 02:18:39 PM »
They shouldn't be so pathetically small if they want to live here.

Prison Biscuits

  • a loaf of milk
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2019, 02:44:55 PM »
Bloody incel bees   #larvafree #pollenationistheft  #noqueensnodrones

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2019, 02:58:03 PM »
It's not all bad news!!

"The study says that bees, ants and beetles are disappearing eight times faster than mammals, birds or reptiles. But researchers say that some species, such as houseflies and cockroaches, are likely to boom"

When you think about it, what's the difference between a beetle and a cockroach?

Exactly.



Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2019, 02:58:38 PM »
Hmm. Maybe by 'boom' they mean actually explode. Now that would be inconvenient.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2019, 03:03:34 PM »
I'm sure God can make some more.

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2019, 03:56:56 PM »
Talk on this page of children and grandchildren is way to optimistic. It’s is us that are fucked. Royally fucked within 20 years.

When the cold weather hit a couple of weeks ago I was just pondering and had a little fantasy. Real, terminal acute climate change. Global temperatures rise 1 dégrée every day. In a couple of weeks time, with thermometers in the high-teens and all happy talk of an early spring. George Monbiot in The Guardian writes about this anomaly as reflective of the growing trend for climate uncertainty. Primark rushes out it’s summer ranges and live is good. Then it keeps getting hotter..

 By mid-Feb it’s hitting 30 degrees. Full on summer loveliness. HEAT WAVE scream the papers everyday framed by images of beautiful people doing beautiful things in beautiful places. George is not happy but the beer gardens are full and it’s great to be alive.

Côme March and we could all do with a break from it all. It’s hitting nearly 40, the hose-pipe ban is in place and none of us can sleep. The front pages of the newspapers are filled with concern and caution and as everyone retreats inside to their shade and fans and air-conditioning the Internet is overflowing with talk of sunspots and Ice-ages and natural cycles. Donald Trump is posting images of the White House under a foot of snow and making wise cracks about how 1/32th of Elizabeth Warren must be loving the sunshine. The death rate starts creeping up but it’s only those underlyig-health-condition types and they had it coming soon enough anyway.

Beware the ides of March. Is now 55 degrees outside. People falling dead in the streets only for the melted road surfaces to add insult to injury by defacing their literal face in act of posthumous sabotage. The papers have long given up attempting to use actual paper and what is left of the electricity system is desperately trying to hold up the internet. The Daily Mail sidebar is still stuffed with pictures of Tamara and Salome showing off their Home Counties charms as they splash through the final few inches of the Thames. The 3 surviving members of Cymdeithas Yr Iaith repopulate Capel Celyn. Someone on Twitter has faceswapped Scott Baio’s face onto Buddy The Elf and sarcastically captioned it ”There is snow on the mountains”. Donald Trump, having seen his Twitter feed reduced only to himself, Kim and Kim, RTs it anyway, copying Elizabeth Warren’s deactivated account and an OK emoji.

April 1st arrives. What is left of humanity is locked in air tight bunkers with enough supplies to last them a lifetime but an overriding sense of wondering why they bothered in the first place. Emmanuel Macron jokes that it’s all a bit like the bit at the end of Aguirre where he’s left with nothing to govern but the spider monkeys so Brigette has him shot. In the confusion, the surviving leaders, already deep into a growing delusional madness caused by the sweltering heat and ironic lack of sunshine seize the moment and act out one great act of hara-kiri, showering the controls of their nuclear briefcases with the tepid remains of their digestive systems. All apart from Trump of course. His Pepsi supply had ran out days ago so given the choice of drinking water or slow death by digestive blockage he chose the quadruple sized Zinger Tower meal. Sitting alone on the shitter, he scrolled his tiny thumb up to refresh his feed. Kim and Kim’s accounts had long-since stalled so he got that search icon one last time.

”#DonaldTrump” he read, tracking his tiny finger across the screen. There it sat, proudly and alone at the top of Trends For You. ”I’ve finally done it” he exclaimed loudly with the last conscious human thought. Moments later, Earth’s single remaining homosapien was no more, rendered by the heat into a single blob of liquified flesh and spray tan, it slid slowly into  the bowl and with one final great irony for a self-confessed germophobe, remained unflushed for ever..

—-

Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2019, 03:59:59 PM »
Sorry. Went off on one a bit there.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Insects #cancelled
« Reply #29 on: February 11, 2019, 04:00:48 PM »
* the sound of BlodwynPig wanking furiously *