Topic: Insects #cancelled

[ToneLa]

Sorry. Went off on one a bit there.

*chuckles goodnaturedly* A chilling vision of things to come!

[biggytitbo]

Didnt you once want to strap a saddle and harnass to a bee, like with a horse?

No...

[bgmnts]

Not looking good for aardvarks.

[Petey Pate]

I recall reading that one species of insect that will benefit from climate change are mosquitoes, meaning an increase in the infection rate of vector borne diseases like dengue fever and malaria, and that these diseases will travel north into regions where previously they've never been a concern.   

[Dex Sawash]

Talk on this page of children and grandchildren is way to optimistic. It’s is us that are fucked. Royally fucked within 20 years.

When the cold weather hit a couple of weeks ago I was just pondering and had a little fantasy. Real, terminal acute climate change. Global temperatures rise 1 dégrée every day. In a couple of weeks time, with thermometers in the high-teens and all happy talk of an early spring. George Monbiot in The Guardian writes about this anomaly as reflective of the growing trend for climate uncertainty. Primark rushes out it’s summer ranges and live is good. Then it keeps getting hotter..

 By mid-Feb it’s hitting 30 degrees. Full on summer loveliness. HEAT WAVE scream the papers everyday framed by images of beautiful people doing beautiful things in beautiful places. George is not happy but the beer gardens are full and it’s great to be alive.

Côme March and we could all do with a break from it all. It’s hitting nearly 40, the hose-pipe ban is in place and none of us can sleep. The front pages of the newspapers are filled with concern and caution and as everyone retreats inside to their shade and fans and air-conditioning the Internet is overflowing with talk of sunspots and Ice-ages and natural cycles. Donald Trump is posting images of the White House under a foot of snow and making wise cracks about how 1/32th of Elizabeth Warren must be loving the sunshine. The death rate starts creeping up but it’s only those underlyig-health-condition types and they had it coming soon enough anyway.

Beware the ides of March. Is now 55 degrees outside. People falling dead in the streets only for the melted road surfaces to add insult to injury by defacing their literal face in act of posthumous sabotage. The papers have long given up attempting to use actual paper and what is left of the electricity system is desperately trying to hold up the internet. The Daily Mail sidebar is still stuffed with pictures of Tamara and Salome showing off their Home Counties charms as they splash through the final few inches of the Thames. The 3 surviving members of Cymdeithas Yr Iaith repopulate Capel Celyn. Someone on Twitter has faceswapped Scott Baio’s face onto Buddy The Elf and sarcastically captioned it ”There is snow on the mountains”. Donald Trump, having seen his Twitter feed reduced only to himself, Kim and Kim, RTs it anyway, copying Elizabeth Warren’s deactivated account and an OK emoji.

April 1st arrives. What is left of humanity is locked in air tight bunkers with enough supplies to last them a lifetime but an overriding sense of wondering why they bothered in the first place. Emmanuel Macron jokes that it’s all a bit like the bit at the end of Aguirre where he’s left with nothing to govern but the spider monkeys so Brigette has him shot. In the confusion, the surviving leaders, already deep into a growing delusional madness caused by the sweltering heat and ironic lack of sunshine seize the moment and act out one great act of hara-kiri, showering the controls of their nuclear briefcases with the tepid remains of their digestive systems. All apart from Trump of course. His Pepsi supply had ran out days ago so given the choice of drinking water or slow death by digestive blockage he chose the quadruple sized Zinger Tower meal. Sitting alone on the shitter, he scrolled his tiny thumb up to refresh his feed. Kim and Kim’s accounts had long-since stalled so he got that search icon one last time.

”#DonaldTrump” he read, tracking his tiny finger across the screen. There it sat, proudly and alone at the top of Trends For You. ”I’ve finally done it” he exclaimed loudly with the last conscious human thought. Moments later, Earth’s single remaining homosapien was no more, rendered by the heat into a single blob of liquified flesh and spray tan, it slid slowly into  the bowl and with one final great irony for a self-confessed germophobe, remained unflushed for ever..

—-

RIP "that's all I got" thread

[Lord Mandrake]

I remember one summer, I literally could not move for centipedes. Ten high they were stacked, all up the driveway. Nowadays your lucky if you see a termite on holiday.

[Urinal Cake]

It's going to take food shortages for people to notice. Like no almonds.

[Bazooka]

It's going to take food shortages for people to notice. Like no almonds.

I demolish a pack of almonds on a weekly basis, haven't seen s bog standard fly for months.