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March 28, 2024, 11:05:20 AM

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Aladdin alive

Started by Butchers Blind, February 11, 2019, 12:05:04 PM

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madhair60

Ah, I probably shouldn't have posted that.

St_Eddie

Do I hear auto-tune on Will Smith's voice in that song?  I think I bloody well do!

Quote from: madhair60 on May 14, 2019, 10:58:21 PM
Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

You'd be better served using your third wish to avoid being #Cancelled.

madhair60

#cancelled he, madhair60
career in ruins
lost his wife, took his own life
missed by nobody

St_Eddie

Quote from: madhair60 on May 14, 2019, 11:01:48 PM
#cancelled he, madhair60
career in ruins
lost his wife, took his own life
missed by nobody

Actually, you're missed by the countless Arabian women who would have sought to claim child support from you, had you not gone ahead and topped yourself, having so recklessly spread your seed around the bedrooms of Agrabah, with such gay abandon.  madhair60's ghost is now #Cancelled.

Mister Six

Quote from: madhair60 on May 14, 2019, 10:58:21 PM
Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

Kelvin

Quote from: Mister Six on May 14, 2019, 11:31:29 PM
Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

In fairness, Jasmine and Aladdin both look like they're in their mid forties for this remake.

Mister Six

Have I mentioned how dodgy it is for them to cast a half-white Indian lass as a Persian princess on here? Because it is. I'm not even kidding. It's one point where I'm ahead of the woke bores, because not enough Tumblr users are Arabic or Persian to build up a critical mass about brown casting.

Replies From View

I know he died and everything but would it really have been impossible to cast this guy?




Look they had an alternate ending with some kind of a Jasmine in it:




And the bad guy was even named Jaffar.

Replies From View

"I CAN SHOW YOU MY COCK
PROUD AND DETAILED AND GIRTHSOME"

I can see why those lyrics were edited out of the original cartoon version, to be honest.  The original wasn't so much about genitals.

madhair60

Quote from: Mister Six on May 14, 2019, 11:31:29 PM
Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

It's a cartoon. ALSO SHE'S SIXTEEN. GET IN

Chollis

More like Jizzmine right fellas

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: St_Eddie on May 14, 2019, 11:00:57 PM
Do I hear auto-tune on Will Smith's voice in that song?  I think I bloody well do!

That's the first thing that stood out to me about the song. What artless piss.

Replies From View

Quote from: Chollis on May 15, 2019, 12:47:34 AM
More like Jizzmine right fellas

Oh god I've had to navigate through one of those before in the dark.  Don't think I managed to complete even six steps before I was drenched from head to foot in residual self-image.

madhair60

Quote from: Chollis on May 15, 2019, 12:47:34 AM
More like Jizzmine right fellas

Jasminge weyyyy sex with women

Jerzy Bondov

The autotune is really obvious on the word 'comes' in the line 'when it comes to exotic-type mammals'.

Disney films like Beauty & the Beast and Aladdin are musicals. Why do they keep remaking them with people who CAN'T SING?!

Blumf

Quote from: Mister Six on May 14, 2019, 11:36:35 PM
Have I mentioned how dodgy it is for them to cast a half-white Indian lass as a Persian princess on here?

Saw the trailer last night, and was thinking that they still haven't worked out if the story is set in Arabia or India.

Eeeh, it's all brown people over there <waves vaguely east-wards>

Perhaps Disney will take on a much needed reboot of the Fu-Manchu films next. <waves harder in an east-wards direction>

Butchers Blind

That clip with Fresh Prince doing the Prince Ali number really is flat, slow and lifeless.  The fact that Big Willie can't sing doesn't help.

Replies From View

They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What's left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: Replies From View on May 15, 2019, 04:00:57 PM
They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What's left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.
They actually have announced a Hunchback remake

St_Eddie

#139
Quote from: Replies From View on May 15, 2019, 04:00:57 PM
They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What's left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Here's a list of the upcoming announced Disney live action remakes...

Quote from:  WikipediaLady and the Tramp (November 2019 - Disney+ exclusive)

Mulan (March 2020)

Cruella (aka One Hundred and One Dalmatians) (December 2020)

Pinocchio (TBA)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (TBA)

Lilo & Stitch (TBA)

The Little Mermaid (TBA)

On the count of three...

1...

2...

3...

Fuck you, Disney.

Chollis

Hang on a minute we've already had a live action 101 Dalmations

"Excellent villain mate!"

Replies From View

And didn't they already do a Little Mermaid remake?

I'm so confused.

Quote from: Chollis on May 15, 2019, 04:52:19 PM
Hang on a minute we've already had a live action 101 Dalmations

"Excellent villain mate!"

This one is going to be an origin story.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Replies From View on May 15, 2019, 05:32:49 PM
And didn't they already do a Little Mermaid remake?

I'm so confused.

That wasn't Disney.

Mister Six

Quote from: Blumf on May 15, 2019, 11:46:25 AM
Perhaps Disney will take on a much needed reboot of the Fu-Manchu films next. <waves harder in an east-wards direction>

You're not far off... www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2176675/fu-manchu-fury-china-over-marvels-asian-superhero-origin

Replies From View

Quote from: St_Eddie on May 15, 2019, 06:25:22 PM
That wasn't Disney.

Disney should definitely do one then; that would be very handy.

Quote from: madhair60 on May 14, 2019, 10:58:21 PM
Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.



Replies From View


St_Eddie