Topic: Aladdin alive

[madhair60]

Ah, I probably shouldn't have posted that.

[St_Eddie]

Do I hear auto-tune on Will Smith's voice in that song?  I think I bloody well do!

Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

You'd be better served using your third wish to avoid being #Cancelled.

[madhair60]

#cancelled he, madhair60
career in ruins
lost his wife, took his own life
missed by nobody

[St_Eddie]

#cancelled he, madhair60
career in ruins
lost his wife, took his own life
missed by nobody

Actually, you're missed by the countless Arabian women who would have sought to claim child support from you, had you not gone ahead and topped yourself, having so recklessly spread your seed around the bedrooms of Agrabah, with such gay abandon.  madhair60's ghost is now #Cancelled.

[Mister Six]

Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

[Kelvin]

Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

In fairness, Jasmine and Aladdin both look like they're in their mid forties for this remake.

[Mister Six]

Have I mentioned how dodgy it is for them to cast a half-white Indian lass as a Persian princess on here? Because it is. I'm not even kidding. It's one point where I'm ahead of the woke bores, because not enough Tumblr users are Arabic or Persian to build up a critical mass about brown casting.

[Replies From View]

I know he died and everything but would it really have been impossible to cast this guy?




Look they had an alternate ending with some kind of a Jasmine in it:




And the bad guy was even named Jaffar.

[Replies From View]

"I CAN SHOW YOU MY COCK
PROUD AND DETAILED AND GIRTHSOME"

I can see why those lyrics were edited out of the original cartoon version, to be honest.  The original wasn't so much about genitals.

[madhair60]

Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

It's a cartoon. ALSO SHE'S SIXTEEN. GET IN

[Chollis]

More like Jizzmine right fellas

[Avril Lavigne]

Do I hear auto-tune on Will Smith's voice in that song?  I think I bloody well do!

That's the first thing that stood out to me about the song. What artless piss.

[Replies From View]

More like Jizzmine right fellas

Oh god I’ve had to navigate through one of those before in the dark.  Don’t think I managed to complete even six steps before I was drenched from head to foot in residual self-image.

[madhair60]

More like Jizzmine right fellas

Jasminge weyyyy sex with women

[Jerzy Bondov]

The autotune is really obvious on the word 'comes' in the line 'when it comes to exotic-type mammals'.

Disney films like Beauty & the Beast and Aladdin are musicals. Why do they keep remaking them with people who CAN'T SING?!

[Blumf]

Have I mentioned how dodgy it is for them to cast a half-white Indian lass as a Persian princess on here?

Saw the trailer last night, and was thinking that they still haven't worked out if the story is set in Arabia or India.

Eeeh, it's all brown people over there <waves vaguely east-wards>

Perhaps Disney will take on a much needed reboot of the Fu-Manchu films next. <waves harder in an east-wards direction>

[Butchers Blind]

That clip with Fresh Prince doing the Prince Ali number really is flat, slow and lifeless.  The fact that Big Willie can't sing doesn't help.

[Replies From View]

They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What’s left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

[Jerzy Bondov]

They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What’s left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

They actually have announced a Hunchback remake

[St_Eddie]

They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What’s left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Here's a list of the upcoming announced Disney live action remakes...

Lady and the Tramp (November 2019 - Disney+ exclusive)

Mulan (March 2020)

Cruella (aka One Hundred and One Dalmatians) (December 2020)

Pinocchio (TBA)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (TBA)

Lilo & Stitch (TBA)

The Little Mermaid (TBA)

On the count of three...

1...

2...

3...

Fuck you, Disney.

[Chollis]

Hang on a minute we've already had a live action 101 Dalmations

"Excellent villain mate!"

[Replies From View]

And didn’t they already do a Little Mermaid remake?

I’m so confused.

[worldsgreatestsinner]

Hang on a minute we've already had a live action 101 Dalmations

"Excellent villain mate!"

This one is going to be an origin story.

[St_Eddie]

And didn’t they already do a Little Mermaid remake?

I’m so confused.

That wasn't Disney.

[Mister Six]

Perhaps Disney will take on a much needed reboot of the Fu-Manchu films next. <waves harder in an east-wards direction>

You're not far off... www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2176675/fu-manchu-fury-china-over-marvels-asian-superhero-origin

[Replies From View]

That wasn't Disney.

Disney should definitely do one then; that would be very handy.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

[olliebean]

Disney should definitely do one then; that would be very handy.

Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECIRjlxM3U

[Replies From View]

Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECIRjlxM3U

Without an uncanny valley crab that lacks any exchange value.

[St_Eddie]

A sneak preview of Disney's live action Little Mermaid remake

Actually, I must admit.  This one looks pretty decent!