Author Topic: Aladdin alive  (Read 9274 times)

madhair60

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #120 on: May 14, 2019, 11:00:55 PM »
Ah, I probably shouldn't have posted that.

St_Eddie

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #121 on: May 14, 2019, 11:00:57 PM »
Do I hear auto-tune on Will Smith's voice in that song?  I think I bloody well do!

Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

You'd be better served using your third wish to avoid being #Cancelled.

madhair60

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #122 on: May 14, 2019, 11:01:48 PM »
#cancelled he, madhair60
career in ruins
lost his wife, took his own life
missed by nobody

St_Eddie

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #123 on: May 14, 2019, 11:08:20 PM »
#cancelled he, madhair60
career in ruins
lost his wife, took his own life
missed by nobody

Actually, you're missed by the countless Arabian women who would have sought to claim child support from you, had you not gone ahead and topped yourself, having so recklessly spread your seed around the bedrooms of Agrabah, with such gay abandon.  madhair60's ghost is now #Cancelled.

Mister Six

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #124 on: May 14, 2019, 11:31:29 PM »
Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.

Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

Kelvin

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #125 on: May 14, 2019, 11:33:48 PM »
Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

In fairness, Jasmine and Aladdin both look like they're in their mid forties for this remake.

Mister Six

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #126 on: May 14, 2019, 11:36:35 PM »
Have I mentioned how dodgy it is for them to cast a half-white Indian lass as a Persian princess on here? Because it is. I'm not even kidding. It's one point where I'm ahead of the woke bores, because not enough Tumblr users are Arabic or Persian to build up a critical mass about brown casting.

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #127 on: May 14, 2019, 11:42:57 PM »
I know he died and everything but would it really have been impossible to cast this guy?




Look they had an alternate ending with some kind of a Jasmine in it:




And the bad guy was even named Jaffar.

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #128 on: May 14, 2019, 11:51:03 PM »
"I CAN SHOW YOU MY COCK
PROUD AND DETAILED AND GIRTHSOME"

I can see why those lyrics were edited out of the original cartoon version, to be honest.  The original wasn't so much about genitals.

madhair60

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #129 on: May 15, 2019, 12:16:09 AM »
Do you know that Jasmine is supposed to be about 15 years old? Do you? Eh?

Yeah U FUKKAN NONCE.

It's a cartoon. ALSO SHE'S SIXTEEN. GET IN

Chollis

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #130 on: May 15, 2019, 12:47:34 AM »
More like Jizzmine right fellas

Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #131 on: May 15, 2019, 12:50:38 AM »
Do I hear auto-tune on Will Smith's voice in that song?  I think I bloody well do!

That's the first thing that stood out to me about the song. What artless piss.

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #132 on: May 15, 2019, 12:53:38 AM »
More like Jizzmine right fellas

Oh god I’ve had to navigate through one of those before in the dark.  Don’t think I managed to complete even six steps before I was drenched from head to foot in residual self-image.

madhair60

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #133 on: May 15, 2019, 07:36:49 AM »
More like Jizzmine right fellas

Jasminge weyyyy sex with women

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #134 on: May 15, 2019, 10:22:12 AM »
The autotune is really obvious on the word 'comes' in the line 'when it comes to exotic-type mammals'.

Disney films like Beauty & the Beast and Aladdin are musicals. Why do they keep remaking them with people who CAN'T SING?!

Blumf

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #135 on: May 15, 2019, 11:46:25 AM »
Have I mentioned how dodgy it is for them to cast a half-white Indian lass as a Persian princess on here?

Saw the trailer last night, and was thinking that they still haven't worked out if the story is set in Arabia or India.

Eeeh, it's all brown people over there <waves vaguely east-wards>

Perhaps Disney will take on a much needed reboot of the Fu-Manchu films next. <waves harder in an east-wards direction>

Butchers Blind

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #136 on: May 15, 2019, 12:06:18 PM »
That clip with Fresh Prince doing the Prince Ali number really is flat, slow and lifeless.  The fact that Big Willie can't sing doesn't help.

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #137 on: May 15, 2019, 04:00:57 PM »
They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What’s left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #138 on: May 15, 2019, 04:16:01 PM »
They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What’s left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.
They actually have announced a Hunchback remake

St_Eddie

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #139 on: May 15, 2019, 04:38:53 PM »
They are going to run out of feasible remakes soon, I think.  What’s left?  Pocahontas?  Hercules?  Did they already do Tarzan?  And it might not be the right time to do Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Here's a list of the upcoming announced Disney live action remakes...

Quote from:  Wikipedia
Lady and the Tramp (November 2019 - Disney+ exclusive)

Mulan (March 2020)

Cruella (aka One Hundred and One Dalmatians) (December 2020)

Pinocchio (TBA)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (TBA)

Lilo & Stitch (TBA)

The Little Mermaid (TBA)

On the count of three...

1...

2...

3...

Fuck you, Disney.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2019, 06:26:13 PM by St_Eddie »

Chollis

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #140 on: May 15, 2019, 04:52:19 PM »
Hang on a minute we've already had a live action 101 Dalmations

"Excellent villain mate!"

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #141 on: May 15, 2019, 05:32:49 PM »
And didn’t they already do a Little Mermaid remake?

I’m so confused.

Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #142 on: May 15, 2019, 06:07:31 PM »
Hang on a minute we've already had a live action 101 Dalmations

"Excellent villain mate!"

This one is going to be an origin story.

St_Eddie

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #143 on: May 15, 2019, 06:25:22 PM »
And didn’t they already do a Little Mermaid remake?

I’m so confused.

That wasn't Disney.

Mister Six

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #144 on: May 15, 2019, 08:23:06 PM »
Perhaps Disney will take on a much needed reboot of the Fu-Manchu films next. <waves harder in an east-wards direction>

You're not far off... www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2176675/fu-manchu-fury-china-over-marvels-asian-superhero-origin

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #145 on: May 15, 2019, 08:55:00 PM »
That wasn't Disney.

Disney should definitely do one then; that would be very handy.

Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #146 on: May 15, 2019, 09:14:33 PM »
Watching that again, the original one, I'm struck by just how fuckable all the women are. Not in the world, in the cartoon. If I were Prince Ali I would fuck my way through Agrabah. Then I'd use my third wish to not get HPV instead of freeing the genie.


Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #147 on: May 15, 2019, 09:40:08 PM »
Disney should definitely do one then; that would be very handy.

Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECIRjlxM3U

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #148 on: May 15, 2019, 09:41:09 PM »
Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECIRjlxM3U

Without an uncanny valley crab that lacks any exchange value.

St_Eddie

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Re: Aladdin alive
« Reply #149 on: May 15, 2019, 10:00:04 PM »



Actually, I must admit.  This one looks pretty decent!

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