Strange things strangers have said to you

[The Lurker]

When I was at uni, I bumped into my flatmate in the smoking area on a night out. He introduced me to his mate who put out his hand. I offered mine thinking he has just going to shake my hand but no, he pulled my hand to his face and rubbed his nose on my hand and told me and I quote: "you smell like you're a good person". Obviously, I was taken aback but I just said "er, thanks, I do try" because, well, it was a compliment I guess. He responded by saying "Yeah, I can tell" before I skulked off.

When I told my flatmate about this later, he apologised for his friend's actions and informed me that the lad was high as fuck. Fair enough.

[bgmnts]

Did he fling semen at your face?

[hummingofevil]

Twenty something woman, smoking a cigarette outside of The Cumberland Arms to me unsolicited,

"You walk like a fucking idiot."

I mean I do and I know I do so my reaction was to laugh my head off but that's a bit harsh eh?

[Sebastian Cobb]

A guy with a megaphone in the passenger seat of a bodykitted Citroeon Saxo once felt the need to shout 'NICE CHIPS MATE!' at me when I was eating some chips before meeting some people in the pub or something.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

" I love you " ( In Russian ) from a Russian lady on a cold and snowy Moscow morn, December of last year. She came up pretty darned close to me to say it, accompanying it with the " heart " gesture symbolised by the hands.

[Beagle 2]

I was holding a bottle of Pantene shampoo at a bus stop once and a woman came up to me to say in a sinister voice "you wouldn't use that if you knew what they put in it". I've never bothered checking what they put in it so I don't limit my hashtag hair goals.

[The Lurker]

Did he fling semen at your face?

Nah, not that I gave him the chance.

[ToneLa]

Loads of shite.

'You type really fast' said an old man I didn't know was over my shoulder watching me use WhatsApp in a pub. OK.

'my wife is a slag,' said a fellow urinal user, holding up a phone.

'I am gonna do loads of coke tonight mate,' a random scal in a different pub. OK, what do you want me to do? Told him 'That's funny, I'm gonna bang back a load of acid' in the most sarcastic voice I have*, and he called me a legend, pointing me out to his mates as a legend. Legend Tony.



*not strictly a lie admittedly, just at that moment it was

[Norton Canes]

"It's mister bionic pants man"

I'll leave you imagine the scenario.

[Wet Blanket]

" I love you " ( In Russian ) from a Russian lady on a cold and snowy Moscow morn, December of last year. She came up pretty darned close to me to say it, accompanying it with the " heart " gesture symbolised by the hands.

When I was about 18 or 19 I was walking along Whitefriargate in Hull, and as I passed a group of giggling teenage girls of about my age, one of them yelled across the street at me, apropos of nothing, "ugly bastard". And I tell you what, at that age, still not entirely self confident, certainly when it came to the opinions of women, that unsolicited judgement fucking stung. Wounded I was. Fucking brutal. I don't think my self esteem ever truly recovered.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

High on pot once, we went to satisfy the munchies at the local takeaway place. When we got there, some lad, full of dubious bonhomie, glommed on to our little group. He slung his arm around my shoulder and asked if I was on cocaine, despite my demeanour clearly being the polar opposite of a cokehead. I meekly denied this, but he wasn't having it, responding, "Yeah, you're on powder mate."

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

When I was about 18 or 19 I was walking along Whitefriargate in Hull, and as I passed a group of giggling teenage girls of about my age, one of them yelled across the street at me, apropos of nothing, "ugly bastard". And I tell you what, at that age, still not entirely self confident, certainly when it came to the opinions of women, that unsolicited judgement fucking stung. Wounded I was. Fucking brutal. I don't think my self esteem ever truly recovered.

The Russian young lady was a fully grown woman all on her lonesome, so my confidence didn't take that much  of a knocking. It *was* a bit strange, though.

[Wet Blanket]

The Russian young lady was a fully grown woman all on her lonesome, so my confidence didn't take that much  of a knocking. It " was" a bit strange, though.

Aye, I like yours better, but it reminded me of that encounter by being its opposite.

Another time in Hull a bloke had a go at me for wearing 'cow shoes'. It is a strange and unpleasant city.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

A guy with a megaphone in the passenger seat of a bodykitted Citroeon Saxo once felt the need to shout 'NICE CHIPS MATE!' at me when I was eating some chips before meeting some people in the pub or something.

You've posted this before, and it also made me laugh then. It's such a daft thing to shout at someone, not really effective as either insult or compliment.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Aye, I like yours better, but it reminded me of that encounter by being its opposite.

Another time in Hull a bloke had a go at me for wearing 'cow shoes'. It is a strange and unpleasant city.

I got mugged in broad daylight, with passing people giving disapproving looks ( at me, rather than the mugger )in that fair city. I agree with your assessment of Hull.

[wooders1978]

I was asked "what are you looking at? my mothers cunt??" by a snarling stranger when I was about 14 - he wasn't with anyone, let alone his mother

[Pingers]

In London once, myself and friends were on our way home from a clubbing expedition in the small hours. Full of jollity and Joie de Vivre we were, gay on the strong gurners. Perhaps sensing our receptive states, the tall gentleman passing us in the opposite direction stopped, held out his hand and revealed its contents of small, creamy ovoids.

"Cobnut?" he enquired.

"No thanks mate, mouth's a bit dry. Thanks though".

And off he went, silently, on his fagalic freighting in Finsbury Park.

[wooders1978]

That's a very sweet offer though, cobnuts aren't easy to come by and if you are a cob nut fan, you don't just offer them up to any Tom dick or barry

[Sebastian Cobb]

Hang on, I still can't tell if he was offering handful of nuts or a palmful of spunk.

[Pingers]

Cobnuts. If it had been spunk I'd have been lapping at his palm. My mouth was quite dry.

[touchingcloth]

"If anyone ever challenges you to neck a yard of ale, say 'excuse me a sec', head to the kitchen and knock back a shot glass of olive oil. Sits on top of the stomach juices and prevents a repeat of gas - money like that". The last sentence was accompanied by a rubbing together of thumb and forefinger and, of course, I was six years old at the time.

[willpurry]

I was asked "what are you looking at? my mothers cunt??" by a snarling stranger when I was about 14 - he wasn't with anyone, let alone his mother

Perhaps his mother thought he was a cunt, so he meant himself.

[Avril Lavigne]

Not me, but decades ago a friend of mine was walking home down a long street from his 6th Form to his house, alongside a forest. According to him an old woman stopped him and said "If you come back here at midnight tonight you'll see something amazing," to which he awkwardly responded in a non-commital way and carried on home, thoroughly confused.

He didn't follow her advice of course so we'll never know what the hell she was talking about.

[ToneLa]

Not me, but decades ago a friend of mine was walking home down a long street from his 6th Form to his house, alongside a forest. According to him an old woman stopped him and said "If you come back here at midnight tonight you'll see something amazing," to which he awkwardly responded in a non-commital way and carried on home, thoroughly confused.

He didn't follow her advice of course so we'll never know what the hell she was talking about.

.
Haha, could be anything. Ghosts. A flasher. An owl. Doggers. How cryptic!

[Dex Sawash]

The other end of his cock, maybe

[BlodwynPig]

Twenty something woman, smoking a cigarette outside of The Cumberland Arms to me unsolicited,

"You walk like a fucking idiot."

I mean I do and I know I do so my reaction was to laugh my head off but that's a bit harsh eh?

Did you then tumble down the hill?

[biggytitbo]

Aye, I like yours better, but it reminded me of that encounter by being its opposite.

Another time in Hull a bloke had a go at me for wearing 'cow shoes'. It is a strange and unpleasant city.

This sort of thing is very common in hull. One that always makes me laugh is some girl who had extremely bad acne stopping me in the street to comment how incredibly ugly i was. I was big into Hancock at the time so I replied, bit rich coming from you love, but in his exact intonation which I was really pleased with.

[Flouncer]

Once I was at Birmingham New Street station waiting for a connecting train; I was hungry had a bit of time to kill so I decided to go and look for a shop. As I got outside a group of asian lads were driving past in a BMW, and the front seat passenger decided to roll down his window and shout, "You're a fucking PUSSY 'OLE, MATE!" at me. Needless to say this did nothing to improve my impression of Birmingham.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I can see that I did quite well with my comment from the Russian lass, when  I compare that incident with  those described by the other posters.
A group of teenagers in Sevenoaks once shouted " Philip Schofield! " at me.

[DrGreggles]

"Mate, your pocket's on fire."

He was right.