Strange things strangers have said to you

[St_Eddie]

"Mate, your pocket's on fire."

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

[Icehaven]

Didn't happen to me personally but I know of someone who named his band Is I Cinema after the time he and some friends were on the tube and some ruffians were attempting to intimidate them with general completely unfounded what-you-lookin'-at? accusations, and one said something like ''What you staring at me for, is I cinema?''

[Small Man Big Horse]

"Do you want to see a photo of my mate with a can of stella up his arse?"

I sure did regret saying yes to that. Though in my defence it was at a festival and I was very, very drunk.

[St_Eddie]

"Do you want to see a photo of my mate with a can of stella up his arse?"

I sure did regret saying yes to that. Though in my defence it was at a festival and I was very, very drunk.

Slightly more coherent than usual there, Rowley Birkin QC.

[Captain Crunch]

I was out shopping one day wearing my giant shiny strawberry pendant.   One of the cashiers said "oooh look at you, fruity-patootie". 

[Thomas]

18 years old, at my first house party, I walked into a room and a slouched stranger said, 'oh, it's that sarcastic twat.' Which rather pleased me, as I presumed they must have read my sub-Brooker blog.

[Brian Freeze]

I walked into the front room at a party and was asked how many two pence pieces I could fit under my foreskin.
Over twenty years later and I still don't know the answer to that.

[St_Eddie]

I walked into the front room at a party and forgot why I'd gone in there.

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

[nero]

My friend and I were stoned out of our minds and went to McDonalds to get a feed.
The woman serving us (who in my recollection looked like Kathy Bates in Misery) was looking down so we could only see the top of her head. We were silly and giggly until she slowly looked up at us and said "Coffee's burning."

But not like that. It was like the sound of a skeksie; "coffeeeeeeee's burrrning."

Creepy shit.

[St_Eddie]

My friend and I were stoned out of our minds and went to McDonalds to get a feed.

Mate.

Reported to the police.

Not for the cannabis but for the McDonald's.

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

Walking up Portobello Road minding my own business, a woman stopped dead in front of me, flung her arm out towards a bookshop on the other side of the road and yelled "It's not the one in the film!" and carried on.

Never said it was, did I?

[Misspent Boners]

Walking past Cardiff castle where sometimes people of dubious repute loiter on the little bit of green when the sun's out. Group of chavs sat with their tops off nearby. One gets up and says over to me "Scuse me mate...could you?...could you?" As he says this hes tapping the front of his wrist, so I begin to get my phone out to tell him the time

"...could you shit on my chest please mate?"

I didnt shit on his chest but I did laugh heartily as did they. Really keep meaning to give it a go myself sometime

[St_Eddie]

Walking up Portobello Road minding my own business, a woman stopped dead in front of me, flung her arm out towards a bookshop on the other side of the road and yelled "It's not the one in the film!" and carried on.

The Continuing Adventures of Mike Read's Stalker.

[Jumblegraws]

I mentioned this on another thread, but a woman once approached me near Kelvinbridge Station. She laughed hysterically and then shouted "Angela!", we passed each other and then that was that.

I never found out the significance of "Angela". I don't think I look like an "Angela".

[katzenjammer]

"Find a penny, pick it up, put it in your pocket, and eventually you'll die" said a man in an off licence.  He's right too.

[Clownbaby]

A couple years ago I was on the bus, it wasn't a full one and the only other people on it were a couple of old men at the front while I was at the back. The bus was slowed by traffic and 2 lasses with a pram were walking past. They saw me and started going "hiyaaaa. HIYAAAA!  HIIII! HIYAAAAAHHHH! HIYA! Helloo-ooo! " in a really nasty loud mocking tone and waving at me like I was an imbecile.

I was having a chat with someone a friend knew but I hadn't met before and it wasn't too uncomfortable, seemed to be getting on alright and then she decided to tell me I "dress bitchy." She had a bit of a reputation for being socially awkward but I don't think that's an excuse to be honest. I wonder what would class as bitchy clothing. Maybe it's clothes that the other person perceives as intimidating or overly stylish? I think I was wearing black leggings, a black strap top and a denim jacket, so a fairly standard outfit. She didn't really expand on what she meant when I asked her.

[Clownbaby]

Loads of shite.

'You type really fast' said an old man I didn't know was over my shoulder watching me use WhatsApp in a pub. OK.

I get that one a lot in the Cumbria County Library if I'm using a computer. I don't know why so many people feel the need to point it out

[Flouncer]

I was having a chat with someone a friend knew but I hadn't met before and it wasn't too uncomfortable, seemed to be getting on alright and then she decided to tell me I "dress bitchy." She had a bit of a reputation for being socially awkward but I don't think that's an excuse to be honest

That's a bit weird. How do you dress like a bitch - do they have a uniform these days?

[madhair60]

A crying tramp told me he was my real dad. Absolute spit and all. I kicked him to death, laughing.

[gilbertharding]

I walked into the front room at a party and was asked how many two pence pieces I could fit under my foreskin.
Over twenty years later and I still don't know the answer to that.

[Clownbaby]

At a party a guy I didn't know was talking to me and I was glad about it. I was a bit nervous cause I didn't know anybody there. He stopped talking to me really suddenly and tilted his head in a sort of concerned way and said "are you a lesbian?" In a sort of conspiratorial "come on its alright, you can tell me." kind of way. I said "no, why do you ask" and he looked really shocked and said "you just seem a bit..." flamboyant Italian-looking hand gesture

I don't know if he was asking for a female friend who maybe fancied me, or just thought I somehow seemed like I might be a lesbian, or maybe he was just a perv and wanted to gather himself up some lesbian who he maybe figured would be inexplicably up to involving a man in their sex life but either way it felt a bit strange the way he said it and I just avoided him after that.

[jobotic]

"You want fruit with your bowl?"

Said some bloke once, walking the other way. commenting on my gait.


My friend once said "strange technique" after we saw some pissed bloke stagger into something or other. I often think of her phrase and laugh, generally when I see someone staggering about twanged, or a plane crash, something like that.

[St_Eddie]

A crying tramp told me he was my real dad. Absolute spit and all. I kicked him to death, laughing.

[St_Eddie]

At a party a guy I didn't know was talking to me and I was glad about it. I was a bit nervous cause I didn't know anybody there. He stopped talking to me really suddenly and tilted his head in a sort of concerned way and said "are you a lesbian?" In a sort of conspiratorial "come on its alright, you can tell me." kind of way. I said "no, why do you ask" and he looked really shocked and said "you just seem a bit..." flamboyant Italian-looking hand gesture

I don't know if he was asking for a female friend who maybe fancied me, or just thought I somehow seemed like I might be a lesbian, or maybe he was just a perv and wanted to gather himself up some lesbian who he maybe figured would be inexplicably up to involving a man in their sex life but either way it felt a bit strange the way he said it and I just avoided him after that.

Urgh.  What a twat.  Reminds me of the time when I declined a particular woman's advances.  "You gay prick" was the response.  Yeah, because anyone who doesn't want to sleep with you is automatically gay, right?  It couldn't possibly be in relation to your abhorrent personality.  Why, my goodness, heavens no!

[madhair60]

To be fair that is gay af. Solid call.

[St_Eddie]

To be fair that is gay af. Solid call.

I was wanking off a bloke at the time, admittedly.

[jobotic]

I was wanking off a bloke at the time, admittedly.

So I saw. Strange technique.

[thenoise]

Pretty gay to be put off by a girl's personality.  Was her dancing not sassy enough for you?

[St_Eddie]

Pretty gay to be put off by a girl's personality.  Was her dancing not sassy enough for you?

Well, I must say that her shimmying was subpar at best.

[QDRPHNC]

St_Eddie's not gay? Huh.