Tell me about your wedding/s

[Fambo Number Mive]

How many times have you been married?

How much did the wedding/s cost?

Where did you get married?

Do you have any interesting wedding stories?

I can say no to all of the above. Can you do better than me? Weddings seem to cost so much money these days.

[holyzombiejesus]

Once. We did it really really cheap. Friends got given jobs like designing the cards, djing, flowers. Cheapo buffet. No photographer (apart from a friend on a stepladder for a couple of group photos). Wife and her mate did some arrangement of cup cakes. I hated almost every second but I wasn't supposed to enjoy the day really. Got through it and we're still together over 10 years later. No interesting stories, sorry.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

You could have had more than a couple of group photos for your own fucking wedding, you miserable git. I assume you and your  mates took shitloads of pics on your phones, and that.

[holyzombiejesus]

You could have had more than a couple of group photos for your own fucking wedding, you miserable git. I assume you and your take mates took shitloads of pics on your phones, and that.

Why? Do you know how many times we've looked at the ones we did have taken since we received them? Not fucking once. Friends sent us nice ones they'd taken and we had those printed but, again, never looked at them since. Neither of us like having our pictures taken and when I look at other people's wedding pictures and see all the (IMO) horrible posed pictures, I'm really glad we made the decision we did.

[Buelligan]

I got married to please someone once.  On the way to the registry office, I said to them, come on, let's just fuck off out of here and have some adventures but they wanted to get married and I'd let them down the week before, so I went through with it.  Decent thing and all that.  It cost the cost of the registry office fee, no photies obvs.  You can probably guess how that little episode worked out.

[madhair60]

You can probably guess how that little episode worked out.

Really well?

[Buelligan]

Yeah.  Because we never see each other or speak.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Really well?

You and Mr. Buelligan still live in perfectly wedded bliss in your Cave Of Love, with its own ceiling, and everything ?

EDIT: You were too quick to answer, now you've spoilt everything :'-(

[ToneLa]

How many times have you been married?

How much did the wedding/s cost?

Where did you get married?

Do you have any interesting wedding stories?

I can say no to all of the above. Can you do better than me? Weddings seem to cost so much money these days.

None

Free, was a guest

N/A

Yes, the bride was my boss's bride, I was invited on a work thing as he was a sad act and seemed to lack for actual friends present. He cheated on her two weeks after the honey moon, walked out, quit his job, moved down south, and his bride sent me loads of abuse on Facebook along the lines of 'I bet you egged him on you fuckin men are all the same'. Yada yada yada hottest sex of my life and a few years later I've got a best friend who knows me like no one else and thanks me for getting her through the darkest period of her life with jokes, company, and love. I did the best out of that wedding, easily. Easily.

Only just

[Beagle 2]

It was really good - a perfect day. Then on the way to the hotel afterwards my wife punched me in the face, setting a firm precedent for the second half of my life.

[holyzombiejesus]

None

Free, was a guest

N/A

Yes, the bride was my boss's bride, I was invited on a work thing as he was a sad act and seemed to lack for actual friends present. He cheated on her two weeks after the honey moon, walked out, quit his job, moved down south, and his bride sent me loads of abuse on Facebook along the lines of 'I bet you egged him on you fuckin men are all the same'. Yada yada yada hottest sex of my life and a few years later I've got a best friend who knows me like no one else and thanks me for getting her through the darkest period of her life with jokes, company, and love. I did the best out of that wedding, easily. Easily.

Only just

What happened in the yada yada yada bit? Did you get it on with your boss' ex?

[Twed]

You and Mr. Buelligan still live in perfectly wedded bliss in your Cave Of Love, with its own ceiling, and everything ?

There is a line drawn in chalk down the centre of the cave and they've been successfully ignoring each other since 2006.

[ToneLa]

What else does yada yada yada mean??

... and are you actually George Costanza ?

I'm more of a Bania

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

What happened in the yada yada yada bit? Did you get it on with your boss' ex?

... and are you actually George Costanza ?

[Shit Good Nose]

Once.

A lot.  But both sets of parents pitched in, as did we.

Priston Mill (which gets a namecheck in the Domesday book).  Ceremony in the mill, after party in the tythe barn.

No, but it was a good day and everyone enjoyed it.  Me and Mrs Nose often say we'd like to relive the after party again cos it was so good.


You can still do a wedding fairly cheap - a simple registry office wedding is still a thing - but you don't often get both parties wanting something that small and inexpensive.  One of them (and it's not necessarily always the bride) typically wants to do something a bit bigger.

[Ray Travez]

How many times have you been married?

Once, to longtime CaB member Chrissiebrmc

How much did the wedding/s cost?

about £80? We had one night in a hotel, a gift from Chrissiebrmc's daughter. Chrissiebrmc's father is Greek, so when we got married he pinned a few notes to us, as is the tradition. Taking this into account, I made a tidy profit on the wedding of around £32.75.

Where did you get married?

Liverpool.

Do you have any interesting wedding stories?

Not really. Chrissiebrmc got done for speeding going to buy the wedding cake, and had to go on a course. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married. Neither of my parents were there. Just four guests. It was a nice day.

[Icehaven]

Friend of mine from work was asked to be best man at the wedding of someone he'd worked with for a few years and was mates but not exactly best mates with. The wedding was on a Saturday so He'd booked the Friday off work to go and pick his suit up and get a haircut etc. However on the Thursday beforehand he didn't show up for work, didn't ring up or anything, just no show. On Monday he turned up and explained that he'd gone out for dinner with the groom and another of their friends on Wednesday night, and it was the first time they'd really seen each other in a little while so they were all chatting about other stuff most of the night, and as they were leaving the other two had said ''See you Friday morning then.'' He thought they were having him on at first but no, it turned out the wedding was in fact on the Friday, not Saturday, so he'd spent Thursday running round like a blue-arsed fly getting his suit, haircut and god knows what else the best man is supposed to do before a wedding (and definitely more than one day before it). Somehow he jammied his way through it but he'd understandably thought ringing work and saying ''sorry you know that wedding I'm best man at? Well here's a lark - I've just realised with less than 48 hours to go that I got the day wrong!'' would make him look like even more of a prat so he just left it and told his boss he mistakenly thought he'd booked the extra day. Fillet.

Anyway has anyone ever, or know of any, real-life literal dumpings at the altar or incidents where someone's actually objected at the bit where they ask if anyone objects?

[The Culture Bunker]

Getting married in July (visa application pending), it'll be at the Manchester Registry Office with about ten other people present. Neither of us wanted a "big" do, which might have been odd anyways as most of her family are dotted around North America/Iran and would not likely to make it anyways.

My mam said I can't have my best friend as my best man on the basis they are a woman, to which I said "yes I can".

At first, I was of the mind that we'd go through with this marriage lark just so she could come live here with me, but then I sussed it was something I actually wanted so I presented her with an engagement ring that belonged to my great-great Aunt (to whom I was very close as a child) and she burst into tears. Thankfully, for good reasons.

[mothman]

Once. Wedding costs, well, each set of parents contributed a grand. That paid for a wedding lunch for 45 people at our favourite tapas bar (the owner knew us and did her Sunday buffet menu with a few extra favourite dishes of ours for £10 a head, plus £10ph for drinks, and £100 for the waiting staff), the hiring of a local cricket club for 150 people at a reception in the evening, with a buffet catered by more friends of ours who were professional caterers, and a limo and a few cars from a local taxi firm. I got a new suit, MrsMoth got her dress, I think we paid for those ourselves.

Wedding was at Wanstead registry office (then our local council), it's in a lovely old cottage hospital building tucked down a residential street. We'd originally planned it to be at Greenwich office, but that's actually in Woolwich in the middle of a fucking shopping centre.

[Cerys]

We had a thread about it and everything.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Got married last summer

Basic registry office with close fam followed by 2 day out door festival in father in laws forestry. I have minus money but luckily friends all work and organise festivals and live on nearby farms  wich covered much logistics and costs

Got asked by mother in law for there to be no naked dancing as the last wedding we attended that was very much a theme

Hung thousands of paper flowers in the trees, ordered four barrels of beer from local pub, buried a lamb and a boar in a firepit and danced the night away, two giant hearts for eyes, an endless twirling glittering pissup, married life has been an atom bomb of love masked as an extremely mundane, at times desperate existence ever since - if it all went to the worst kind of turdburgers tomorrow I'd still have the last six months- worth every penny someone else paid for  it

[kittens]

one hundred and fifty people? i don't think i have met that many people in my life, let alone got to know them enough to invite them to my wedding. honestly, even if i invited the many family members i actively dislike i reckon i'd struggle to make 30. must be a nice bloke. fair play like

[Emma Raducanu]

I've been to a few weddings and have generally fucking hated them. Such a drab affair of formalities mixed with people having 'fun'; everyone being ever-so-polite to the bride. Everyone wearing fancy hats and on their best behaviour before 'letting their hair down' at the night do.

Nah mate, never getting married. Imagine what you could do with the budget of an average wedding. Think my parents have spent over 40 grand on weddings. Suckers.

[Bobby Ralgex]

I got married to please someone once.

Yup, I did that. Awful.

[Sebastian Cobb]

one hundred and fifty people? i don't think i have met that many people in my life, let alone got to know them enough to invite them to my wedding. honestly, even if i invited the many family members i actively dislike i reckon i'd struggle to make 30. must be a nice bloke. fair play like

I'm taking a scorched earth policy with my relatives, by not going to their weddings I'm hoping I get the same courtesy in return should I ever have to get married.

[touchingcloth]

I've had one wedding and am still married. We got married in the local register office and had our reception in the function room of a pub. It cost us around £2,500, a couple of hundred of which was on a suit and a dress (both generic enough that we can use them for attending future dos in and neither of which scream WEDDING), a few hundred more for flights and accommodation for friends travelling from afar, a few pennies for the legal bits and bobs and the bulk of the money going on the buffet and bar tab as one of the main things we wanted was for everyone to be able to eat and drink their fill without having to spend a single groat.

Interesting stories? A friend pulled me outside at one point because he "had something to show me". Turns out he just wanted to fill my nostril with its first ever cocaine. I blacked out the latter portion of the night, my first memory of the aftermath of the event being sat in a taxi next to my new mother in law saying "we know, you've already told this story five times during this cab ride".

[Bobtoo]

How many times have you been married?

How much did the wedding/s cost?

Where did you get married?

Do you have any interesting wedding stories?

I can say no to all of the above. Can you do better than me? Weddings seem to cost so much money these days.

Once, in 1993 and we're still married.

The reception was in the local village hall with an outside caterer and a live Scottish country dance band, nothing flashy or competitive. The ceremony was in a church on the Fife coast, in the village where my wife grew up.

I've been to a wedding where I think the marriage ended before we'd got home from the reception, which was only half an hour's drive.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've been to, I think, 4 close friend's weddings (rather than cousins/friends of the family) and one failed in less than a year and the one I was best man at didn't make it past the third year.

None of it was my doing though, like.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Married in Vienna. A sunny Saturday in August. Ceremony in a palace for 110, photos at the Theseustempel. Vintage Rolls Royce, dinner and reception for 70 at another palace (got it cheap as it was just opening and I set them up with florists and caterers). Japanese single malt night caps and adjourned to a hotel bar and then had a suite at the hotel. Wasn't cheap, but we decided to smash it. Still look at the pictures with happy memories.the wedding spawned two other weddings and two divorces and we think one friend got pregnant that night too. And I parted company with my passport as the security guard didn't want to deal with the police. And I uttered the line "if I had wanted the police at my wedding, I would have booked Sting and a Lute"

[Ferris]

Married once, still am.

In Edinburgh, to make everyone's family equally unhappy about having to travel.

Spent a fair amount but nothing over the top. Put most of the budget into booze and food ie the best bit.

All sorts of interesting stories, it was excellent. Spawned a number of other weddings because of how great it was, and a baby for some friends of ours. I was very ill so probably the only person who didn't go bananas.