Do you have any mates in the slammer?

[up_the_hampipe]

I like these threads because I can boast about my childhood pal who is doing 30 years in the US for being an international mega nonce.  Not very often I get to win at something.

You should have seen it coming when he befriended you as a child. That's grooming. Dodged a bullet.

And, no, I don't have any mates in prison because I don't associate with vile thugs like you lot. Lad I sat next to in Science lesson is doing life for killing a guy though.

[Speak]

When we were in our early 20's my mate was a small time dealer. He was filling up at a petrol station one day and noticed a woman's handbag had been left by one of the pumps. He stupidly took it with him, wasn't anything in it and he later chucked it away. A little while later he's at home (his mum's) in his room weighing out a few thousand pills and a few ounces of cannabis when his mum calls up that the police were there to speak to him about a stolen handbag. They couldn't believe their luck!

He eventually went down for that for a while, and inside he got addicted to downers and such. He came out for a while but then ended up going back in for petty driving offences and not turning up to court etc. He came out for a while again then ended up biting a police officer, so went in again even longer. Then he came out for 3 days, got drunk with a mate then stabbed the mate to death in his own home, in front of his girlfriend with 3 kids upstairs.

Very tragic turn of events, because before he ever went inside he was a genuinely soft and pleasant chap. Of course the dealing itself could've landed him in jail at some point, but the fact it was a bloody handbag that started the particluar series of events is just ridiculous.

[St_Eddie]

...the fact it was a bloody handbag that started the particluar series of events is just ridiculous.

No it's not.  Cause and effect in action.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

* Lady Bracknell gives shocked reaction *

[Buelligan]

When we were in our early 20's my mate was a small time dealer. He was filling up at a petrol station one day and noticed a woman's handbag had been left by one of the pumps. He stupidly took it with him, wasn't anything in it and he later chucked it away. A little while later he's at home (his mum's) in his room weighing out a few thousand pills and a few ounces of cannabis when his mum calls up that the police were there to speak to him about a stolen handbag. They couldn't believe their luck!

He eventually went down for that for a while, and inside he got addicted to downers and such. He came out for a while but then ended up going back in for petty driving offences and not turning up to court etc. He came out for a while again then ended up biting a police officer, so went in again even longer. Then he came out for 3 days, got drunk with a mate then stabbed the mate to death in his own home, in front of his girlfriend with 3 kids upstairs.

Very tragic turn of events, because before he ever went inside he was a genuinely soft and pleasant chap. Of course the dealing itself could've landed him in jail at some point, but the fact it was a bloody handbag that started the particluar series of events is just ridiculous.

Oscar takes notes excitedly.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Oscar takes notes excitedly.

Do you mind, Missus?

* Lady Bracknell gives shocked reaction *

[Buelligan]

Ah, I'm really sorry.  I know this sounds like an excuse - it is - but I did not see that.  If I'd seen it, of course, I would have left you the full glory.  Have the glory anyway, I feel cheapened by the whole thing.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'll let you off.

[wooders1978]

When I worked at a supermarket in my teens one of the lads there was bragging about "firebombing gyppos" - turns out him and his sisters boyfriend had taken it upon themselves to throw a petrol bomb at a teavlllers caravan that contained a young family the previous evening (thankfully they escaped unhurt but effectively their home had been burnt to the ground), he wasn't at work the following week due to the fact he was serving 2 years at her majasties pleasure

[Buelligan]

Two years is not long enough.  I sincerely hope they find him when he gets out or whilst he's still in.

[wooders1978]

Two years is not long enough.  I sincerely hope they find him when he gets out or whilst he's still in.

This was 20 odd years ago mind but you are probably correct that is a lenient sentence

[Jockice]

I actually don't. And never have as far as I know. Apart from my former brother-in-law who got six years for noncing. There were also murderers in the years above and below me at school but I was in no way mates with either them. A few years ago I bumped into someone who told me that a lad from my year has also been banged up for murder. It wouldn't surprise me but nobody else seems to know anything about it so I presume it's bullshit.

Oh yeah, and a friend of a friend's brother ran over and killed someone while driving home from the pub pissed one Christmas day and then fled the scene. He spent a few years in the slammer for that one.  Not sure if I ever met him though. It's possible but I can't say for definite.

Does that count? Probably not.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I don't know for sure but Gricey was always getting detention for being disruptive in class or not doing his homework so it wouldn't surprise me if he eventually graduated to serious crime - maybe murder, kidnapping, drug distribution. He smoked when he was thirteen too so all the signs were there.

[gib]

A woman who went to my school is currently serving six and a half years for this bizarre sex crime:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jul/15/gayle-newland-retrial

She was there nine years after I was, though. Still, I fucking hated my school and am amused that the most famous alumna is an olympic gymnast and the second most famous is a convicted sex offender.

Thanks, i'd forgotten about that case. Do you agree with the verdict?

[Endicott]

There was a guy I met twice. I actually know two of his ex-girlfriends quite well, but not him. First time in a pub he seemed ok. The second time was round my mates house, he dropped in coked off his head trying to get everyone there to agree that his ex was a terrible person who didn't understand him properly. But in a proper menacing way, so I had to time my exit to make sure he didn't think I was leaving just because of him. Funny thing was, I'd been about to leave so I ended up having to stay a bit longer.

Anyway he's been in and out of prison, violence and drug trafficking, and I am told that when he's inside he runs a wing. Whatever that really means.

[Barry Admin]

Do you remember the "Cunt Neighbour" thread from last year? I removed it eventually but it was about a young lad who got moved into the flat below me around the end of 2017, and left around April last year after I'd reported him to police for threatening me on St Paddy's day, following months of nightmarish behaviour. Anyway it got back to this guy that I was responsible for him finally being asked to "leave" the estate, after he'd been warned about his "antisocial behaviour" a number of times.

He'd just got out of a remand Center or whatever, and was given a flat here, which he destroyed, and invited all kinds of nutters back to. It was hell for months, from the first night he moved in. Anyway yeah he wasn't a fan of me. He would constantly be leaving the door and window open so his scumbag mates could come in at all hours, and I was the only person who would push back against his often violent and clearly unhinged behaviour.

Earlier this week I found out he's back inside, having done an actual murder. Him and two older guys beat some bloke to death.

[Flouncer]

I remember that imbroglio Neil - not surprised to hear that he turned out to be capable of something like that. What a nozzle.

[MiddleRabbit]

No offence but I hope your fat friend dies. Speed freaks who kill are scum.

I daresay he's not immortal but he does have a lot of padding to protect him in collisions.

He's also generally a dick, so fair dos.

[monolith]

I made friends with a guy who was out on life licence a couple of years ago. Lovely bloke actually, had converted to Buddhism and the guy I knew just didn't add up with the crime he committed.

Anyway, couldn't live with what he had done and went on a heroin and crack bender. Ended up back inside after leaving his approved premises.

[Better Midlands]

Works in recruitment consulting now.

Sounds like the biggest cunt in this thread so far.

[Jockice]

Oh yeah, and a friend of a friend's brother ran over and killed someone while driving home from the pub pissed one Christmas day and then fled the scene. He spent a few years in the slammer for that one.  Not sure if I ever met him though. It's possible but I can't say for definite.

Does that count? Probably not.

That's my friend's friend's brother by the way, not my friend's brother's friend.  Just to clear up any confusion.

[Mister Six]

By the people who didn't do any time, to make sure that it stays that way and for him to have an attack of amnesia should anybody ever ask any questions about it.

Surely by the time he's leaving prison, the window for questioning has closed?

Not doubting your story, just thinking these thugs are a bit daft.

[MidnightShambler]

Surely by the time he's leaving prison, the window for questioning has closed?

Not doubting your story, just thinking these thugs are a bit daft.

No, it doesn't really work like that from what I believe. That particular bust, yes, all elapsed, probably. But there's plenty of other things that he was party/privy to that if people started asking questions, he'd be doing well to have forgotten. It's all a bit murky, they have their reasons that make sense to them I suppose.

[Clive Langham]

A bloke I was at university with did (I think) four years for manslaughter.
He was a smackhead - a girl came round his house, he gave her a shot of skag and went upstairs to bed. In the morning he found her dead body in the living room.

[Twit 2]

In the morning he found her dead body in the living room.

Sounds like she should be in the slammer if she'd brought a dead body with her.

[Twit 2]

IVE GOT A FRIEND IN THE SLAMMER - ITS TED ROBBINS