Things That Make You Feel Old

[imitationleather]

My college was the last one in the country that made you do your university application on a paper form. My word that was ball-ache. A massive A1 piece of paper with loads of boxes to fill in with text that must have screamed "This person goes to a college that is so bad it can't even afford computers. REJECTED" to any university or UCAS person that saw it.

Also because the college was so poor you were only allowed one of these massive A1 forms and if you made a mistake in it you got expelled as that was cheaper than buying another form. (That may have just been an empty threat, but nothing would have surprised me.)

[paruses]

I signed up with amazon to buy a book, when that's all they sold.

Me too and I also share your password longevity story.

I also remember filling in an online questionnaire around the time I opened the account wherein I estimated that although I had already made a couple of purchases I would be unlikely to buy online regularly in future.

25KG of lime plaster was delivered to my house this morning from somewhere in Bristol up to somewhere in North Wales- it took about 5 clicks, a password, and a few key strokes as the address is stored by the browser. Fuck shops. _{not really - except hardware ones that make you feel bad for not knowing exactly what you want. Ditto timber yards.}

[gib]

Beyonce's Crazy in Love is old enough to buy cigarettes.

Mate, it was the olden days when you could buy cigs at 16.

[paruses]

Mate, it was the olden days when you could buy cigs at 16.

How old do you have to be now?

[Funcrusher]

Cigarettes are illegal now because of health and safety.

[paruses]

Cigarettes are illegal now because of health and safety.

Mental. It's political correctness gone mad.

[Johnboy]

 - my nieces and nephews having kids, and that started 11 years ago (I'm 48)

- There are loads of little things every day that make me feel old, or make me think " I have become my father". Especially when my teenage son is listening to a song that catches my attention and I ask him what it is, who it's by, who are they, are they "big". I remember my father asking that about David Bowie in 1983, he had come under his radar when he was on the cover of Time magazine, my sister and I thought his line of questioning so square: "what it's ninety eighty three and you're asking us about david bowie like you've never heard of him before, get a grip daddio.." laughed our heads off at him, little cunts that we were.

[Bazooka]

Seeing your parents and thinking, they look old.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Seeing your parents and thinking, they look old.

I've got a lot of that going on.  When I see my mum, I think she looks like an old woman, now.  Then I think, well, she is sixty-nine this August...

[Small Man Big Horse]

...and then get back together with the mother and be the child's father and step-great-grandfather all at the same time. You know it makes sense. The tabloids may even come in for a quick sniff of that one.

And then I could get her pregnant, break up with her, date her 28 year old daughter, get her pregnant, and then I'd be...Hmmm, that's too complicated for me to work out (other than a bastard) but I'm sure I could get £500 from Take-A-Break at the very least.

Also we never had a school disco. My housemate's comment: "I thought every school had those. We had one every term."

I never had one until I got to sixth-form college. Asked out two girls, both were appalled, decided against attending them. :(

[imitationleather]

If you tell a kid today that elite sports events such as the snooker Masters were sponsored by Benson & Hedges right up until 2003/4 they'll look at you like you are mad. Even madder than kids usually look at you.

[Emotional Support Peacock]

I've got a lot of that going on.  When I see my mum, I think she looks like an old woman, now.  Then I think, well, she is sixty-nine this August...

I BET SHE IS PHOENIX YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS. I BET SHE IS.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Also we never had a school disco. My housemate's comment: "I thought every school had those. We had one every term."

We never did, although one time there was a little gig with two heavy metal bands made up of people from the school.  They did about 4 songs each.  In the interval one kid who was a pretty good impersonator got up and did various impersonations, including an impersonation of one of the teachers - he asked the teacher permission first and permission was granted and much hilarity ensued.

[gib]

How old do you have to be now?

18

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7021320.stm

[Jockice]

Football is a constant reminder of my ever-hastening journey to the grave. The offspring of famous footballers who were in their pomp when I was an adult having careers now is, quite frankly, sickening (I'm looking at you, Kasper Schmeichel!). But nothing has given me a 'Dead Soon' jolt quite like the time I read a story about 'Blind signing for Manchester United'.

'Fuck me, Danny Blind is still playing?' I thought. No, no, it was his fully adult son Daley Blind. Danny Blind had retired in 1999, 15 years previously, but the elastic nature of the eternal now that is our teens and 20s (where the ephemera of those years sits in a holding pattern till we're ready to engage with it again) was pulled to breaking point with my belief that a footballer in his mid-50s would be enjoying an Indian Summer of sorts – and Manyoo would be the club to indulge him. Upon realising this, I, of course, went out to the back garden, scratched out a shallow hole to lay in, and encouraged my family to scatter loose earth over my prone body. It's for the best.

Jim O'Brien, the footballer. He's now 31 years old. Some people would even call him a journeyman or a veteran. Well, I went to primary school with his dad.

[Pingers]

I work with some proper young 'uns. We were talking about millennium eve the other day and one said "I've got a really clear memory of that. I was five". Silence.

And then things like "Twin Peaks? What's that?" or not knowing what an A-Z is. My partner had a social work student on placement and had to show her where a stamp goes on an envelope.

Dead very soon.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I work with some proper young 'uns. We were talking about millennium eve the other day and one said "I've got a really clear memory of that. I was five". Silence.

And then things like "Twin Peaks? What's that?" or not knowing what an A-Z is. My partner had a social work student on placement and had to show her where a stamp goes on an envelope.

Dead very soon.

Our youngest developer is 18. He was 5 when I started university.

He's good at what he does too, lacks experience obviously but it's scary how quick he can pick things up. Elastic brains and that.

Also rather than us maturing him, he's made the rest of us much more childish.

[mothman]

Just realised, since it was on just now, that Toy Story will be 25 years old next year. That's now long it'd been since World War 2* ended when I was born, and that seemed hopelessly remote to me, growing up.

*_{And, in another war of feeling old, I initially referred to it as "the war" when first typing - but I gather there have been several since then, so for the avoidance of doubt...}

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Seeing your parents and thinking, they look old.

I've had that for a while, now. Because, y'know ,( at my age ) they * are* old. Fair Fucks. Back In  the day, my dear old ma was a dead ringer for the actress Sara Miles, and all my mates and teachers who she met when she attended parent's night at school, fancied her. Quite the archetypal proto- MILF* , so she was ( *not personally ,orbviously , Back off, Freud ).Later years saw her developing in to quite the lookalike for the actor Katherine Helmond ( Jessica Tate in " Soap ", One of Terry Gilliam's favourite actors, too). My dad, in turn used to look like Clint Eastwood in his Dirty Harry prime, and has since gone on to age in contemporaneously exactly the same way as Clint Eastwood has done , in eerie echo of how top The Queen lookalike Jeanette Charles is ageing all parallel like to our own beloved Cunt Of Death ( this is not the first time I have made this particular reference, it occurs to me ). I also have an auntie who has also done the contemperously ageing thing with the actress Jacqueline Bisset,  along with another auntie who would have done a similar ageing comparative thing with the actress Lee Remick , had not that actress died years and years ago. All of which begs the question of why I'm such an ugly cunt. But, still, great post, this, so off I post.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I've had that for a while, now. Because, y'know ,( at my age ) they * are* old. Fair Fucks. Back In  the day, my dear old ma was a dead ringer for the actress Sara Miles, and all my mates and teachers who she met when she attended parent's night at school, fancied her. Quite the archetypal proto- MILF* , so she was ( *not personally ,orbviously , Back off, Freud ).Later years saw her developing in to quite the lookalike for the actor Katherine Helmond ( Jessica Tate in " Soap ", One of Terry Gilliam's favourite actors, too). My dad, in turn used to look like Clint Eastwood in his Dirty Harry prime, and has since gone on to age in contemporaneously exactly the same way as Clint Eastwood has done , in eerie echo of how top The Queen lookalike Jeanette Charles is ageing all parallel like to our own beloved Cunt Of Death ( this is not the first time I have made this particular reference, it occurs to me ). I also have an auntie who has also done the contemperously ageing thing with the actress Jacqueline Bisset,  along with another auntie who would have done a similar ageing comparative thing with the actress Lee Remick , had not that actress died years and years ago. All of which begs the question of why I'm such an ugly cunt. But, still, great post, this, so off I post.

You're not an ugly cunt, your mother just had an affair with Bob Mills which resulted in your existence.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

You're not an ugly cunt, your mother just had an affair with Bob Mills which resulted in your existence.

: - D ( SMBH speaks of Facebook- related knowledge of what I looksk like, dear readers )

[Jockice]

I've had that for a while, now. Because, y'know ,( at my age ) they * are* old. Fair Fucks. Back In  the day, my dear old ma was a dead ringer for the actress Sara Miles, and all my mates and teachers who she met when she attended parent's night at school, fancied her. Quite the archetypal proto- MILF* , so she was ( *not personally ,orbviously , Back off, Freud ).Later years saw her developing in to quite the lookalike for the actor Katherine Helmond ( Jessica Tate in " Soap ", One of Terry Gilliam's favourite actors, too). My dad, in turn used to look like Clint Eastwood in his Dirty Harry prime, and has since gone on to age in contemporaneously exactly the same way as Clint Eastwood has done , in eerie echo of how top The Queen lookalike Jeanette Charles is ageing all parallel like to our own beloved Cunt Of Death ( this is not the first time I have made this particular reference, it occurs to me ). I also have an auntie who has also done the contemperously ageing thing with the actress Jacqueline Bisset,  along with another auntie who would have done a similar ageing comparative thing with the actress Lee Remick , had not that actress died years and years ago. All of which begs the question of why I'm such an ugly cunt. But, still, great post, this, so off I post.

My mum looked like The Road Runner. So think yourself lucky.

[touchingcloth]

Emoticons make me feel old. I know people call them emojis now (yes, that is the correct plural), but even back in MSN (remember that?) days when typing a colon and a closing bracket used to create a yellow smiling face I used to turn that feature off to preserve the wonderful ASCII, but you seemingly can't disable these new fangled cunts.

Some of the younger ones at work we're talking about their favourite emoticons (grave) and I said that I'm so old I don't know how to write them even though my parents somehow do (grave, grave) and they were all "it's easy! Show me your phone" so I did and they were puzzled and then said that I needed to download and install an extra keyboard "let me do it for you" (grave, no) and I felt even older when I realised there are people who can be bothered to go through that faff just to be able to send that cunting thing that's supposed to be a pair of hands raised in praise next to someone weeping. I booted them al into grave.

Anyway, later that day the policeman lady came and asked why I had popped my colleagues and parents into grave, so I explained all of the above to her and she just looked at me with understanding in her eyes, tipped her bonnet and left.

[idunnosomename]

all this "rap music" everywhere

[touchingcloth]

I think it's spelled "wrap".

[touchingcloth]

Or is it "rawp"? I know the kids talk about "rap with a w".

[Mister Six]

1990.

As we all know 1990 was about 12 years ago, except according to the lying calendar it was twenty nine years ago.

Fuck's sake.

I was doing all right until I read this.

[Twed]

Super Mario 3D World (a game that came out five years ago, which is yesterday) is to an 18 year old today what Mario 64 is to somebody my age.

[Captain Crunch]

I remember telling a youngster at work about half p sweets and she didn't believe me.  Sad thing was, that was 17 years ago. 

[Twed]

I have a lot of trouble with the fact that 2005 (yesterday) was 14 years ago.

I remember telling a youngster at work about half p sweets and she didn't believe me.  Sad thing was, that was 17 years ago. 

A Cadbury's Caramel was 22p in 1995.