It's Valentine's Day squeeeeeeee

[Bennett Brauer]

https://twitter.com/jayde96x/status/1095420838877241346 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 

[biggytitbo]

Easily my 2nd favourite massacre.

[McFlymo]

Ugh.

[madhair60]

Got a card, so that's one over on all you virgins.

[McFlymo]

Who did you get it for?

[biggytitbo]

Who did you get it for?

Himself.

[touchingcloth]

Got a card, so that's one over on all you virgins.

I've got a card - it's the queen of hearts. I've actually got 51 other cards as well, but didn't want to seem like I was boasting.

[Janie Jones]

Who makes the joke every year about not being able to open his front door? I'm looking forward to that.

[ToneLa]

I don't need no Valentine. No, after years of being urged to, after everyone from strangers to family telling me to do it, I'll finally heed all the advice and simply go fuck myself

[Neville Chamberlain]

I couldn't open my front door this morning!

[Icehaven]

I couldn't open my front door this morning!

Me neither, because I shot my postman because I didn't get any fucking cards.

[Janie Jones]

I couldn't open my front door this morning!

Yay, there you are!

Also can I thank Blue Jam for her idea of going to Spoons for their cheapo Valentine special. I copied this last year with a group of jaundiced long-term relationshippers and world-weary singletons and we had a right laff, we're doing it again tonight.

[MojoJojo]

Guess what my wife got for me? Separation!!!

Look forward to depressing drunken posts from me later. I'll start a thread, or maybe just shove them in the desolation thread.

[McFlymo]

^ For realz?

That's pretty rough. Sorry to hear that. Or had it been in the pipeline for several weeks / months / years and had to finally happen? In which case: YAY!

(sorry)

[thenoise]

My wife is working a 13 hour shift. I am going to watch some films and I'll do the washing up later, maybe.

We did a Valentine's Day yesterday, went for a walk at the Lizard and then I made us a nice tasty meal. Then we watched The Gleaners and I on DVD. It's about people who eat out of bins.

[biggytitbo]

Most post isn't delivered until later in the day nowadays so that joke no longer works so well.

[St_Eddie]

I couldn't open my door this morning!

<sub>Because I was drunk.

I drink to ease the pain of being single and unloved.</sub>

[ToneLa]

Most post isn't delivered until later in the day nowadays so that joke no longer works so well.

My postman is an angry, bitter bastard, so throws all my Valentines down a drain instead of delivering them, I expect

[Lemming]

*standing in Tesco next to the flowers section, shouting at passersby* IT'S A COMMERCIALISED HOLIDAY!!! WHY WOULD YOU HAVE JUST ONE DAY A YEAR TO TELL YOUR PARTNER YOU LOVE THEM, WHY NOT EVERY DAY?? IT'S COMMERCIAL!!! IT'S FOR COMPANIES TO SELL CHOCOLATES!!!

[St_Eddie]

*standing in Tesco next to the flowers section, shouting at passersby* IT'S A COMMERCIALISED HOLIDAY!!! WHY WOULD YOU HAVE JUST ONE DAY A YEAR TO TELL YOUR PARTNER YOU LOVE THEM, WHY NOT EVERY DAY?? IT'S COMMERCIAL!!! IT'S FOR COMPANIES TO SELL CHOCOLATES!!!

Hot take.

[thenoise]

flowers and chocs and an overpriced card is one thing, but don't make the mistake of going out to dinner. Set menus (hate them), two sittings per evening so you are hurried through 4+ courses, and bad service, and you have to pretend to have enjoyed it because your boyfriend blew this month's 'nights out' budget on it.

[Buelligan]

Not always true that.  I spent yesterday making the salle extra lovely, setting out the tables - we turned a lot of people away for tonight even though we could've put in a lot more tables.  We do one sitting and we give attentive service.  I made everything, every detail as polished and perfect as it could be.  Lot's of special cooking went on - preparing for a menu of delights. 

Whilst I laid out those knives and glasses and candles, I thought about the people who would sit in the brushed and pristine chairs and I hoped they would all love and be loved. 

I'm a cynic with the best of them but I also hope and believe in other people. 

My main piece of advice to everyone engaging in that activity is to be honest, with yourself (especially with yourself) and with others.  Once you start to lie, the chance of love slips from you irrevocably.  And if you start off lying, you are fucked.  Happy Valentines!

[mrpupkin]

Going to an Elliot Smith tribute night later on to take my mind off loneliness and heartbreak. What's his stuff like?

[Prison Biscuits]

If you didn't get any cards today, keep it to yourself, yeah? like, this is the thread for people who are VALID. people who are happy, with significant others. CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS IN THE WORLD OF FUCKING.

[Fabian Thomsett]

Who makes the joke every year about not being able to open his front door? I'm looking forward to that.

My handwriting gets worse every year.

[SteveDave]

This year I wrote an official looking letter on headed paper about my feelings for her and left it sticking out of the letterbox this morning. I was fully expecting her to ignore it or open it sometime in the next two weeks like some of her other post but she opened it this morning. As a Valentine's treat she's working tonight so I get to go to bed at 8:30. 

[Bennett Brauer]

Who makes the joke every year about not being able to open his front door? I'm looking forward to that.

Just went to leave the house in tears and saw that some clown had put this on my front door.

[pancreas]

Gecko got me some mushroom vinegar for my Valentine's day.

[BlodwynPig]

Gecko got me some mushroom vinegar for my Valentine's day.

Is that what he calls it these days, the pervert.

[BlodwynPig]

Not always true that.  I spent yesterday making the salle extra lovely, setting out the tables - we turned a lot of people away for tonight even though we could've put in a lot more tables.  We do one sitting and we give attentive service.  I made everything, every detail as polished and perfect as it could be.  Lot's of special cooking went on - preparing for a menu of delights. 

Whilst I laid out those knives and glasses and candles, I thought about the people who would sit in the brushed and pristine chairs and I hoped they would all love and be loved. 

I'm a cynic with the best of them but I also hope and believe in other people. 

My main piece of advice to everyone engaging in that activity is to be honest, with yourself (especially with yourself) and with others.  Once you start to lie, the chance of love slips from you irrevocably.  And if you start off lying, you are fucked.  Happy Valentines!

Chapeau. On Hoopoe wings we shimmer and soar.