Why was there never a mascot called "Mario" on the Nintendo?

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Such a missed opportunity.

[ToneLa]

Luigi collects magic dog muck on the NES (but not the SNES)

From the Duck Hunt dog

Freezes it for a makeshift dildo.

BUT WHY WAS THERE NO DOG MUCK 64

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You think they would have at least had a plumber or someone?

It's seriously so weird they never bothered having even one character called "Mario".

[ToneLa]

Maybe the Princess LOVED the toilet being blocked, the clarty bastard. That's the 1% for you - perverted up to here (I have raised my hand to my face's height to indicate that this member of the Mushroom Kingdom royal family was a right dirty elite nonce (it was Toad's shit))

[ToneLa]

In Super Mario canon anyway why DID the Princess need TWO plumbers

She left some big jobs I reckon. Bet you could write your name in the filth on her bathroom wall. No wonder there's fucking walking, talking toadstools

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Has there ever been a computer game where you could get an extra life?

[touchingcloth]

Wasn't there a Mari0, Mari1, Mari2 and Mari64?

[ToneLa]

What was Mario 63 like?

[touchingcloth]

It was a bit obvious, a bit too Mari-y.

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Serious question:  have there ever been any computer games where you could control a main character?

[touchingcloth]

Serious question:  have there ever been any computer games where you could control a main character?

Electroplankton?

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Electroplankton?

I don't know.  :(

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Why didn't they at least make a character that was a fat plumber bloke who went down pipes?  He could have worn a red hat and everything.

[touchingcloth]

Why didn't they at least make a character that was a fat plumber bloke who went down pipes?  He could have worn a red hat and everything.

Resident Evil did this, I think. What?! This is Chris's pipes?!

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Resident Evil did this, I think. What?! This is Chris's pipes?!

What's a resident evil?

[touchingcloth]

What's a resident evil?

It's a type of Mario x.

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It's a type of Mario x.

Which computer system was it?  Not Nintendo, who have never had a mario.

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Hey guys what computer games are there?

[Delete Delete Delete]

Bob Hoskins Maker.

[touchingcloth]

Which computer system was it?  Not Nintendo, who have never had a mario.

Blintendo Sixty Pea Ess Box. Ever heard of it?

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Blintendo Sixty Pea Ess Box. Ever heard of it?

Nope.

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Do you reckon there might one day be a way to make computer games portable in some way?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Imagine how different the world would've been if the Master System got bundled with 'Barry Burton'.

[touchingcloth]

Do you reckon there might one day be a way to make computer games portable in some way?

No, because the cassettes are too large. There are tam la glotchies, but anything else is too difficult to make portable. Imagine - they are like packets of cards, but made out of wires b

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I thought they were putting games in ink cartridges now.  Aren't they quite small?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What's a resident evil?

Fred West?

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Fred West?

Ohhh yes.  I have heard of him.

Is he a Sega one?

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I was thinking about maybe a plumber wearing dungarees and a hat, and having the ability to make him move within a given landscape using buttons on the computer such as up, down, left and fall.

This plumber could collect coins and make a noise when he does it such as "coin_noise.wav"

He could have enemies that are continually invading his physical space, making it necessary for him to form pacts with tribes or embalm himself on the go.

How about a love interest such as a female plumber or a princess?

As a plumber, is there any reason he shouldn't have pipes?

[Ferris]

Why would he go in pipes? Plumbers fix pipes, not go in them.

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Why would he go in pipes? Plumbers fix pipes, not go in them.

I'm just bouncing ideas around here.  He could just have pipes somehow; if that includes going down inside them then so be it.