Turning Japanese...

[BlodwynPig]

Re: Tokyo. Go to the Meguro Parasitological Museum and check out the world's biggest tapeworm.

In terms of flights, you could get a cheap flight with Emirates via Dubai. Decent airline in my experience but it does make for two long flights. My preference would be to try and connect via Heathrow, Amsterdam or Paris. You feel the benefit of the last leg home being a short hop (although De Gaulle is not the best designed airport).

de Gaulle is the 8th circle of hell.

[dr beat]

Yes you absolutely get the sense that the architect had been reading Dante, quite literally. I once had to change there and it took me 90 minutes and two buses to change terminals.

[JesusAndYourBush]

I've always thought they were real! Ah, my dream has come true. Well, if that was my dream.

The picture on the packet may be of a young girl, but the pants themselves are supplied by housewives and grannies to make a bit of extra income.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Bullshit. There was a side mission in Yakuza 0 where you had to help out a schoolgirl who had resorted to selling her underwear to makes ends meet, and I believe everything in that game to be factually correct, so it can't be grannies.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I'm going to Hiroshima in September, I've just realised. Any tips for that region?

Reminds me of something.  I was once in the street, and a man walked past, singing a song verse to the tune of the old fifties song, 'Who Put the Bomp in the Bom-Ba-Bom-Ba-Dong?' but using the lyrics, 'who dropped the A-bomb on Hiroshima?'  I thought that was quite funny.

[ToneLa]

The picture on the packet may be of a young girl, but the pants themselves are supplied by housewives and grannies to make a bit of extra income.

Almost certainly! You'd be lucky if they were women!

I went out with a lass (a British one in Britain, just to take it wildly offtopic) aboot ten years ago who was fetching and all, and, as she revealed on the second time we went out, used to sell her worn knickers online for some spare wonga.

I was a wee bit dubious when my new gal pal told me this but she showed me all the emails off perves asking her to post them worn knickers for £50-£100 a pop. It became quickly hilarious! Did not hurt she was relatively minted. She had a few sexy pics and that up somewhere to flog them, I cared not, she was literally posting washing from her washing basket, found it too amusing to feel proprietary over.

She'd be big in Japan!

I therefore wouldn't sully merely the Japanese with accusations of such a depraved trait. Naw, naw. The lot. Everyone. Humanity, sullied.

[BlodwynPig]

Reminds me of something.  I was once in the street, and a man walked past, singing a song verse to the tune of the old fifties song, 'Who Put the Bomp in the Bom-Ba-Bom-Ba-Dong?' but using the lyrics, 'who dropped the A-bomb on Hiroshima?'  I thought that was quite funny.

That was me.

[Jittlebags]

Phew. Looks like this thread's back on track, after me almost derailling it onto the virtues or otherwise of Japanese ladies' anuses. Sorry about that.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Make a separate thread so we can talk Japanese lady anus some more plz.

[Jittlebags]

That reminds me. I've still not got round to verifying whether Japanese ladies' ani are not pixellated, whereas their mimsies are. This could be a weekend project.

[ToneLa]

That reminds me. I've still not got round to verifying whether Japanese ladies' ani are not pixellated, whereas their mimsies are. This could be a weekend project.

If you remember Tubgirl, her foofoo was pixellated, but her arsehole wasn't, nor was the titanic spurt emerging from said rectum and splashing onto her face.

Really glad they pixellated her mimsy. Could have ended up obscene

[Sebastian Cobb]

You know I'd seen that picture a fair few times back in the early 2000's and never noticed the fanny was pixellated; I reckon if it was a cock and balls most of us wouldn't have noticed.

[dirkgonnadirk]

The museum is amazing, and almost free.

Miyajima, a small island covered in shrines and whatnot, is a famous tourist attraction very close to Hiroshima. I was expecting it to be a big tourist trap but it's still surprisingly magical and mellow. Ended up being the highlight of my friends' trip when they visited a while ago.

yup to all this, these are the standard things to do. i went to miyajima a few months back and it was waaaaaay busier and more tourist trappy than 10 years ago, so get there as early as possible. there's also a bunny island if you have kids but it's a hassle to get to.

koba is a cool tiny metal bar with a very friendly owner if you're interested in that sort of thing - it's the #1 on tripadvisor. it can get pretty smoky in there.

[Johnny Yesno]

I see. I was picturing something more like this.

Is that the normal number of, er, tea towel holders a chap'd expect to have down there? Asking for a friend.

[St_Eddie]

The picture on the packet may be of a young girl, but the pants themselves are supplied by housewives and grannies to make a bit of extra income.

In actuality, pre-sale, the panties are worn by the factory workers responsible for overseeing the packaging of the panties; every single one of them extremely obese; their bodies coated with a mane of thick, course and matted hair; and dripping with sweat, due to the malfunction of the factory's ventilation system.

Seriously though, in reality...

When foreigners gush about finding a used panty vending machine, they're usually referring to a gachapon machine. While many of the machines advertise the contents as used, anyone who can read Japanese knows that this isn't the case.

Above the price (￥500) are the words "スーパーUSED加工" (super used kakou). Kakou, in this case, means that the panties were manufactured to appear used – kind of like the Abercrombie jeans that are sold with holes and frayed edges straight from the factory. The addition of those two kanji characters makes it instantly apparent to a native speaker that the panties are not, in fact, used. Perhaps an enterprising gachapon machine salesperson realized that they could trick non-Japanese into believing the urban legend by slapping a single English word on the sign.

After snaking through a maze of adult videos, vibrators, and sex dolls (some lifelike, some more like giant anime characters), I found myself on the sixth floor of the gargantuan sex shop that, according to my German acquaintance on the street, had a real used panty vending machine. What I found, instead, was a plethora of brand new, vacuum-sealed underwear and "cosplay" outfits. I approached the cash register and inquired directly with the staff – a normal looking guy in his 30's wearing an apron and a name tag. I wondered if he got lost on his way to the coffee shop and ended up selling sex toys instead of lattes.

"So many foreign customers ask me about buying used panties," said the clerk, who agreed to talk with Tech in Asia on the condition that his name and company not be specified. "We used to have a gachapon machine that sold new panties, but the sign said 'used.' There was a disclaimer at the bottom saying they they weren't really used – but it was written in Japanese, so maybe they took the sign literally."

At some point in the past six months, management had made the decision to move the machine to the basement – but it had already done its job of perpetuating the myth to the foreign visitors who managed to catch a glimpse. Did the real thing ever exist?

"They did exist in the back alleys of Akihabara, about 10 or 15 years ago," the clerk continued. "But the law is strict now. Some shops around here sold used panties – not necessarily in vending machines – but the police cracked down on them. They didn't arrest the shop owners, but told them to stop underage students from selling their stuff. Sometimes girls with fake IDs would try to sell panties or used school uniforms, so the police told the shops to be careful."

[St_Eddie]

...tiny metal bar with a very friendly owner if you're interested in that sort of thing - it's the #1 on tripadvisor.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

That was me.

Who dropped the bomb?  Wow!  I'd be proud if OMD wrote a song about something I'd done!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Reminds me of something.  I was once in the street, and a man walked past, singing a song verse to the tune of the old fifties song, 'Who Put the Bomp in the Bom-Ba-Bom-Ba-Dong?' but using the lyrics, 'who dropped the A-bomb on Hiroshima?'  I thought that was quite funny.

No word of a lie this, I once came out of the barber's,  having had my hair all cut and that, and what did I hear someone merrily whistling, for all in the the immediate vicinity to hear ? The theme from " Rutland Weekend Television " True Story ! ( albeit a bit OT)

[imitationleather]

Almost certainly! You'd be lucky if they were women!

I went out with a lass (a British one in Britain, just to take it wildly offtopic) aboot ten years ago who was fetching and all, and, as she revealed on the second time we went out, used to sell her worn knickers online for some spare wonga.

I was a wee bit dubious when my new gal pal told me this but she showed me all the emails off perves asking her to post them worn knickers for £50-£100 a pop. It became quickly hilarious! Did not hurt she was relatively minted. She had a few sexy pics and that up somewhere to flog them, I cared not, she was literally posting washing from her washing basket, found it too amusing to feel proprietary over.

She'd be big in Japan!

I therefore wouldn't sully merely the Japanese with accusations of such a depraved trait. Naw, naw. The lot. Everyone. Humanity, sullied.

A few years ago I wanted to buy a Geneva Jacuzzi t-shirt so I went on her site to order one. Disappointingly, the only merch she was flogging were her knickers. They came at three price points, depending on the amount of days they'd been worn.

I find my girlfriend's underwear being around the flat enough hassle so really have no use for more women's things. Geneva, you lost yourself a potential sale!

[Mister Six]

Mt. Fuji is best seen from a distance. Just stay in Tokyo rather than actually go there (I climbed the fucker nearly 20 years ago and it's all a bit pointless).

If you drive out from Tokyo to the Hakone Open-Air Museum (which is great, although the Picasso Pavilion was a bit dull when I visited about eight years ago - lots of his vases and stuff you probably don't care about) then you'll likely pass by plenty of overlooks that give you a grand view of Fuji. That is, if the weather is good enough - my friend who lives there said it's quite frequently swathed in clouds.

[ToneLa]

A few years ago I wanted to buy a Geneva Jacuzzi t-shirt so I went on her site to order one. Disappointingly, the only merch she was flogging were her knickers. They came at three price points, depending on the amount of days they'd been worn.

I find my girlfriend's underwear being around the flat enough hassle so really have no use for more women's things. Geneva, you lost yourself a potential sale!

Ace. You could have bought a pair and washed em and sent them back. See if the dirty cow takes the hint

[Mister Six]

In terms of flights, you could get a cheap flight with Emirates via Dubai. Decent airline in my experience but it does make for two long flights. My preference would be to try and connect via Heathrow, Amsterdam or Paris. You feel the benefit of the last leg home being a short hop (although De Gaulle is not the best designed airport).

Emirates is a fantastic airline, I'd say, and the only good thing to come out of Dubai. I'd connect at Amsterdam - partly, as you say, because CDG is a bit shit, but mostly because Amsterdam is great, with its own casino and museum, and a top-shelf (in every sense) grot mag collection in the news agent's.

Speaking of grot, no trip to Tokyo is complete without visiting the seven-floor sex store M's in Akibara. Get the lift up to the top floor, where things are quite tame, then descend through the circles of filth Hell. Pretty sure there'll be panties for sale, if that's what you want to take a photo of. They have a scuba mask with a big dildo on the front, FFS.

EDIT: Ah, from the article above (which doesn't mention the name of the massive sex shop) it looks like the panties are unavailable. Sorry, you filthy bastards

[BlodwynPig]

A few years ago I wanted to buy a Geneva Jacuzzi t-shirt so I went on her site to order one. Disappointingly, the only merch she was flogging were her knickers. They came at three price points, depending on the amount of days they'd been worn.

I find my girlfriend's underwear being around the flat enough hassle so really have no use for more women's things. Geneva, you lost yourself a potential sale!

Geneva Jacuzzi was flogging her knickers? Christ - the ones worn during her exercising in Cannibal Babies video?

Edit: Only one t-shirt for sale now. Who nabbed all the knickers?

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

I lived there for a couple of years.

Sumo should definitely be a priority, I hate sport and only went for the sake of going but it's a fantastic show. Even without knowing much about it before, you can really see the skill and different styles of the wrestlers at work, it's just a joyful experience. Not too expensive too, there's a guy online who buys the tickets in advance for tourists.

Apart from flights and the JR pass, it's not as expensive as you might imagine. It has a reputation for being 'expensive' but that's more about the cost of living in Tokyo (in the same way that living in London or New York is expensive). If you're up for sleeping a bit utilitarian there's a lot of options (especially if you're a bloke) like cheap business hotels and capsule hotels, or even sleeping on the sofa of a karaoke bar or manga cafe if you're going really budget. Food is generally cheap too - you might have an interest in splurging once or twice on the more specialty stuff like wagyuu, but good ramen and other trad foods are usually only five to eight quid for a great meal.

Get to a traditional festival - there are shitloads, find out which ones are on around your dates and if there's any near you. Some are more unique than others (carrying round a big wooden penis, throwing beans etc.) but they're all a good laugh and generally have a really nice atmosphere - a chance to have street food and beer, maybe fireworks, kids running round, drunk lads lifting heavy things, that sort of thing.

Avoid Golden Week (last week of April-first week of May). It's an extended national holiday and everything's more booked up, crowded and expensive.

Don't just go to cities, get to the countryside as well at least for a day or two for some hiking/hot springs time. If you've got a bit longer, I'd recommend trying to do Tokyo, then go west towards Kyoto, some onsen town and Hiroshima/Miyajima. One of the benefits of Japan is that it's not a huge country but it is long, meaning you get a big variety of climates and scenery. (Going east to Hokkaido is also lovely but takes a while and Hokkaido has more of a European feel, so I wouldn't prioritise if you're coming from Europe).

[JesusAndYourBush]

I lived there for a couple of years. ...only went for the sake

[BlodwynPig]

I lived there for a couple of years.

Sumo should definitely be a priority, I hate sport and only went for the sake of going but it's a fantastic show. Even without knowing much about it before, you can really see the skill and different styles of the wrestlers at work, it's just a joyful experience. Not too expensive too, there's a guy online who buys the tickets in advance for tourists.

Apart from flights and the JR pass, it's not as expensive as you might imagine. It has a reputation for being 'expensive' but that's more about the cost of living in Tokyo (in the same way that living in London or New York is expensive). If you're up for sleeping a bit utilitarian there's a lot of options (especially if you're a bloke) like cheap business hotels and capsule hotels, or even sleeping on the sofa of a karaoke bar or manga cafe if you're going really budget. Food is generally cheap too - you might have an interest in splurging once or twice on the more specialty stuff like wagyuu, but good ramen and other trad foods are usually only five to eight quid for a great meal.

Get to a traditional festival - there are shitloads, find out which ones are on around your dates and if there's any near you. Some are more unique than others (carrying round a big wooden penis, throwing beans etc.) but they're all a good laugh and generally have a really nice atmosphere - a chance to have street food and beer, maybe fireworks, kids running round, drunk lads lifting heavy things, that sort of thing.

Avoid Golden Week (last week of April-first week of May). It's an extended national holiday and everything's more booked up, crowded and expensive.

Don't just go to cities, get to the countryside as well at least for a day or two for some hiking/hot springs time. If you've got a bit longer, I'd recommend trying to do Tokyo, then go west towards Kyoto, some onsen town and Hiroshima/Miyajima. One of the benefits of Japan is that it's not a huge country but it is long, meaning you get a big variety of climates and scenery. (Going east to Hokkaido is also lovely but takes a while and Hokkaido has more of a European feel, so I wouldn't prioritise if you're coming from Europe).

I always imagined Japan to be fairly long and was pretty daunted by visiting and seeing everything (e.g. if I'm visiting Hiroshima and then wanting to see Hokkaido or bathing macaques). Your comment gave me hope, but then I checked

[BlodwynPig]

Christ

https://www.inicom.com/hibakusha/akiko.html

[St_Eddie]

I lived there for a couple of years. ...only went for the sake...

...of it.

_{Sorry, JesusAndYourBush but whatever your joke was, it didn't show up, so I figured I'd step in your place.}

...capsule hotels...

Desolation.

Rolf "Rolfaroo" Harris would bloody love Japan and their pantie vending machines.  The dirty old bollocks.

[Twed]

Desolation.

Japan has the knack of making things that would be desolation material in Western countries very lovely instead. De-humanized alleys full of vending machines containing junk food and essentials? Lovely in Japan, somehow. Like being in a really non-dangerous real-life Akira.

[Neomod]

If you are in Tokyo how about a sophisticated night out at the Robot Restaurant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qol6T1ANuw