Best and Worst Airports

[BlodwynPig]

following on from the De Gaulle comment in the Turning Japanese thread...

which are you most loved and most hated. airports.

I like the futuristic, vast ones, especially when late at night and deserted. But my favourite is Bozeman airpot in Montana, which is like the living room of some rancher in 80s TV show Dallas.









Worst - definitely Charles de Gaulle.

I once got lost making a transfer and ended up going through security twice, finding myself outside of the airport and then ducking behind a partition to bypass security (by accident). The laissez-faire attitude of the staff didn't install confidence, either. Abominable place.

[QDRPHNC]

I hate Toronto Pearson - given the amount of people going through it, there are no where near enough restaurants or rest areas of ample size.

Smallest airport I was ever in was Columbus, Georgia - literally a room, with a bag carousel on one end, a single check-in desk at the other, and a single security guard before boarding.

Atlanta is absolutely massive, but runs like clockwork, great internal transit system, and a "smoking room" so yellow and depressing it becomes funny.

I remember enjoying a decent beer in Houston.

[BlodwynPig]

Houston is one of those expansive airports where you can while away your days in comfort.

[Ferris]

Worst is La Guardia, hands down.

Got stuck there for 7 hours when a flight was canceled. For a 45 minute meeting, I spent 9 hours in fucking La Guardia airport. Grey bored people, in a grey boring space. Too small, no chairs, crying children, disinterested (and heavily armed) federal marshals. Fancy a beer? There is literally nowhere to get one after security. You have to go back through security, where there is a shit Frankie and Benny's type place, and get sloshed there on shit expensive beers that only come in 12oz glasses. Then you have to go back through security, pissed up, which might take another hour.

Think about that. Guardia is so shit, and the TSA agents are so aware of its shitness, they let you waltz back and forth through security at will. It is fucking horrible.

Did I mention there is no air conditioning? Or heating? Whatever the season, you will be uncomfortable in that noisy, crowded, claustrophobic shitbox. There are no seats. The airline staff are stressed, unhappy, and underpaid so they don't give a flying (ha) fuck if you want an earlier flight. It is one of the seven circles of hell. Fuck that place.

Fave is Reykjavík–Keflavík airport in Iceland. Spent a lot of time there when I had no money but had to fly transatlantic. Everyone is friendly and polite and the lady behind the bar serving pints of Viking looks like Björk. Bit expensive. Recommend.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Reykjavik is lovely, feels huge and is nice and airy, doesn't just feel like a big massive mall built to bilk money out of you while you wait.

The worst I've been to in the UK has to be Luton. If you set up a trestle table at one end of the check-in area handing out blankets and rations it'd be like a set from Children of Men.

[bgmnts]

Newark. Newark is an absolute dream compared to La Guardia and JFK.

[Darles Chickens]

Newark. Newark is an absolute dream compared to La Guardia and JFK.

I was 3 hours delayed at JFK recently.  It surprises me that a city as great as New York can have such dull airports.  Never mind, I thought, at least there's a counter with seats and power outlets where I can charge my laptop.  Didn't work.  And there was nowhere in the entire terminal to get a beer or anything.

On the other hand, I love Philadelphia airport.  Full of bars with loud music, great food and a million TV screens showing American sports, like American Football or American Baseball.  I always have too many beers and then spend the whole of my flight needing to pee, but not wanting to disturb the person sitting in the aisle seat.

[QDRPHNC]

I know I've been through LaGuardia, but have no memory of it whatsoever.

Actually, I was quite delighted to find that there's a little cafe in New Orleans airport right by the check-in desks that does fresh, delicious beignets.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Estonia's airport is a dinky, cosy little place ( am assuming that Estonia only has one airport, I mean it probably fucking has, tiny little pissant pseudocountry, so it is ).

[greenman]

Most pleasant US one of any size I'v been though would probably be Salt Lake City, nothing that special design wise but gates all close together, very relaxed and good faculties.

[poo]

:(

[Attila]

Philly and BWI (international terminals) because they are home (I lived about 1/2 way between them, but usually used Philadephia).

Hate with a flaming passion Orlando. Not keen on Gatwick. Really hate flying between the pair of them.

[The Culture Bunker]

Newark. Newark is an absolute dream compared to La Guardia and JFK.

I found they had the surliest passport control wankers in the world. Spoke to me in a whisper and when I leaned forward a bit to hear better he said "we don't like you doing that, <sneer> Sir". I was honestly expecting him to pull a gun on me or some shit.

Estonia's airport is a dinky, cosy little place ( am assuming that Estonia only has one airport, I mean it probably fucking has, tiny little pissant pseudocountry, so it is ).

Yeah, Tallinn is nice enough, you can walk from one end of the Terminal building to the next in about three minutes. Nice little bar, though. Shame the airport is riddled with bad memories for me that I would quite happily expunge from my mind.

Estonia has another, even tinier, airport in Tartu, though you can only get one flight a day to Helsinki.

[steve98]

mistake

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I found they had the surliest passport control wankers in the world. Spoke to me in a whisper and when I leaned forward a bit to hear better he said "we don't like you doing that, <sneer> Sir". I was honestly expecting him to pull a gun on me or some shit.
Yeah, Tallinn is nice enough, you can walk from one end of the Terminal building to the next in about three minutes. Nice little bar, though. Shame the airport is riddled with bad memories for me that I would quite happily expunge from my mind.

Estonia has another, even tinier, airport in Tartu, though you can only get one flight a day to Helsinki.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Tartu ! Of course, being the Birmingham of Estonia , it seems logical that it would have it's own airport. The last time I went to Tartu was to see the thoroughly likeable, and sadly now disgraced,  former CAB member Happy Tree, Me / CAB/ airport fans !

[BlodwynPig]

I know I've been through LaGuardia, but have no memory of it whatsoever.

Actually, I was quite delighted to find that there's a little cafe in New Orleans airport right by the check-in desks that does fresh, delicious beignets.

It's a fuck ugly airport though, reminds me of Teeside airport with more snacks.

[The Culture Bunker]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Tartu ! Of course, being the Birmingham of Estonia , it seems logical that it would have it's own airport. The last time I went to Tartu was to see the thoroughly likeable, and sadly now disgraced,  former CAB member Happy Tree, Me / CAB/ airport fans !

Last time I was in Tartu was back in 2009 to stay with a lovely, albeit incredibly shy Estonian lady, with whom I went to see (in Tallinn) the sadly now disgraced Morrissey. Don't remember much about the town except there was a pub called Big Ben, or suchlike, and another called the Godfather, which had pics of prohibition-era gangsters all over the place.

Err, back to airports: not sure I could say I have a favourite, as I'm terrified of flying and thus any airport is just a location for me to have a two-hour panic attack. That said, I will say Manchester's is a bit of a tip at the moment. 

[BlodwynPig]

O'Hare was the first US airport I ever went to and saw a giant man in a cowboy hat threaten to stomp an immigrant worker into the ground for daring to have his mop and bucket in the man's way on an escalator.

"Welcome to America"

[thraxx]

Which is the one with the murals of Nazi stormtroopers murdering children on the walls and the massive masonic keypad and pedestal in the middle of the terminal?  That one.

[Ferris]

Which is the one with the murals of Nazi stormtroopers murdering children on the walls and the massive masonic keypad and pedestal in the middle of the terminal?

Glasgow Prestwick?

[QDRPHNC]

Which is the one with the murals of Nazi stormtroopers murdering children on the walls and the massive masonic keypad and pedestal in the middle of the terminal?  That one.

Denver. I was there and didn't see a thing.

Albuquerque is quite nice, bit of a southwestern motif, unsurprisingly enough.

[dex]

Singapore's airport is cool. If you luck out with the right terminal you can go on a massive slide, otherwise there's a nice sunflower garden and food court.

[seepage]

Not widely travelled but closest to Hell so far was Santorini, which goes against it being supposedly a lux destination. Palma, Mallorca can be the opposite of fun since they increased throughput another 160%.

[gatchamandave]

Hanoi airport, very late 50s design, all polished hardwood and chrome so it's like being on the set of The Man From UNCLE, good tasty food from local retailers, and although there aren't many facilities it was a pleasant place to spend a couple of hours. No more than that though.

[Mr Banlon]

Best : The one with Gloria Swanson.
Worst : The one with Alain Delon

[BlodwynPig]

Singapore's airport is cool. If you luck out with the right terminal you can go on a massive slide, otherwise there's a nice sunflower garden and food court.

Kuala Lumpur had the Pussycat dolls playing and there is a small jungle in the middle of one of the terminals

[thenoise]

[tag]show off thread for travelling ponces[/tag]

[BlodwynPig]

[tag]show off thread for travelling ponces[/tag]

Not really...airports good and bad. You do know travelling can be a tiring, dull, painful experience. A good airport is a boon, a bad one brings you closer to death

[The Culture Bunker]

O'Hare was the first US airport I ever went to and saw a giant man in a cowboy hat threaten to stomp an immigrant worker into the ground for daring to have his mop and bucket in the man's way on an escalator.

"Welcome to America"

Funny enough, whilst hoping to rush through Munich airport to catch a connecting flight, I was held up by some fat good ol' boy tosser* in a cowboy hat throwing a strop because he had to remove his belt for the metal detector machine. "It'll make ma pants fawl down!" he cried, to which the stoic German lady said "this is not important to us". I was expecting him to start up thinking he was Clint in 'Where Eagles Dare' or some shit.

*you may not be surprised to learn he was wearing a NRA badge on his coat.

[Bronzy]

Glasgow Prestwick?

That's Elvis.