CARING IS MY PERSONAL BRAND (cunts on linkedin)

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fuck me.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Check out john lennon over here.

[ziggy starbucks]

nothing warms the heart like rich people being moderately charitable and making sure the world knows about it.

[grassbath]

There is only one certain promise that I have made to myself in life: I will never, ever create a fucking LinkedIn account.

[Sebastian Cobb]

dunning-krugering your way through empathy like a baby goat trying to stand on a skateboard.

[ToneLa]

The dole told me in all seriousness that I must, have to, to get money, get and use a LinkedIn account.

Thank God for lying!

[Sebastian Cobb]

The dole told me in all seriousness that I must, have to, to get money, get and use a LinkedIn account.

Thank God for lying!

Thanks to GDPR you can simply opt out of sharing your personal information between the UC website and the Job Centre. They'll try and tell you that you can't do that, but you can.

[ToneLa]

Thanks to GDPR you can simply opt out of sharing your personal information between the UC website and the Job Centre. They'll try and tell you that you can't do that, but you can.

Hmm that's interesting. I've got nothing to hide cause I am looking for work and all I do is paste job titles I've gone for in their stupid, basic web form, but I resent them saying my dole depends on such stupid shit as "look on Twitter" and "used LinkedIn"

If they go one step further and want the (non existent) profile URLs or owt like that I might fight back with GDPR!

[Sebastian Cobb]

There are also browser scripts to auto-apply to all the bollocks on uc btw.

http://automation.strikenow.org.uk/

[ToneLa]

Yoink!!! Cheers Seb!

[Pingers]

Check out john lennon over here.

Hey Tim, imagine if we overthrew capitalism and fired nail guns into your eyeballs so that everyone could have enough. Imagine that.

[Nowhere Man]

"Why would you do such a kind thing?"

What kind of a cunt question is that

[ToneLa]

Tags: CARLING IS MY PERSONAL BRAND

[Johnny Yesno]

Imagine if we all thought like this for a second.

That's clearly how long Tim thought like this.

[Johnny Yesno]

There is only one certain promise that I have made to myself in life: I will never, ever create a fucking LinkedIn account.

Unfortunately, they've taken over Lynda.com. It's LinkedInLearning.com now. Cunts.

[Sebastian Cobb]

That's clearly how long Tim thought like this.

If he really gave it some time he'd come up with the exact words to Phil Collins' - Another Day In Paradise.

[Johnny Yesno]

There are also browser scripts to auto-apply to all the bollocks on uc btw.

http://automation.strikenow.org.uk/

Well, now. You've undermined your whole thread by posting the work of some people who actually give a shit ;-p

Very nice. Really hope I never have to use it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Well, now. You've undermined your whole thread by posting the work of some people who actually give a shit ;-p

Very nice. Really hope I never have to use it.

I always go off topic, it's why Neil hates me :(

[Johnny Yesno]

I always go off topic, it's why Neil hates me :(

Hey, mocking the twats is fine, but that there extension looks like it could actually make some people's lives a bit easier.

[ToneLa]

I'm sure as fuck grateful!

Hating The Dole is my personal brand

[Johnny Yesno]

CARING IS MY PERSONAL BRAND

[ToneLa]

Do you want to build your visibility on LinkedIn?

Wondering which LinkedIn features can help?

WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DEPRAVED WANNABE-FUCKTOY OF THE MOST SHAMBOLIC GOVERNMENT IN MY LIFETIME

Ahem, spraying it & saying it this arvo.

Edit: If you think I'm a bit over the top linking LinkedIn in... to the Tory party, here's a screenshot of my UC agreement:

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's a bit late now, but that 'agreement' is a bit negotiable; you can actually refuse parts of it within reason.

[ToneLa]

It's up for discussion again next week (because I have been working) so I will attempt to get it Tippexed to fuck.

To be fair it's pretty generic but honestly don't know why they push social media on me. They even say "look on Facebook". I don't even wanna know

[Sebastian Cobb]

This is what I find disgusting about these measures tbh. They pretend it's about fighting 'scroungers' but there's whole streets of people on the dole queue in disadvantaged areas who know exactly how to work the system because they've got no choice, and if a couple of them get sanctioned they support each other and learn from it. Yet people who haven't used the brew much are the ones that end up suffering because they don't know its pitfalls.

For the avoidance of doubt, this is not a rant at people who do know how to navigate the dole.

[imitationleather]

There are also browser scripts to auto-apply to all the bollocks on uc btw.

http://automation.strikenow.org.uk/

Have bookmarked this. JUST IN CASE.

[Sebastian Cobb]

In some ways I'm kind of gutted I missed the 'no questions asked' dole that apparently existed in the 90's and before, like what artists used to be on. Being on it these days definitely seems a bigger pain in the arse than doing terrible jobs.

[ToneLa]

I hear ya, Seb. It just seems so suspicious. As if the phone interviews I've had in the last week from using Glassdoor and Indeed don't count as I did it without their help, when I could be perusing Linked In. They insist. They insist!!

It feels designed to trick me, the fella between jobs, as sure as fuck the system can be gamed. But it's so sceptical. I don't wanna game it. I wanna be left alone while I plug away!

[Johnny Yesno]

Fucking hell. That is sinister. Where I work, we get spammed to fuck by automated emails from people's linkedin accounts. They sign up and have no idea this is going on.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I know, it's almost as if your time wasn't filled with jumping these hurdles you might actually be able to apply for a job you might be suitable for.