Author Topic: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid  (Read 6357 times)

Blue Jam

  • I've seen mushrooms with bigger brains
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #150 on: March 04, 2019, 04:55:18 PM »
When I worked for a lettings agent, we had an Italian tenant who gave their original home address with the first line 56 Via Giovanni or something like that. My manager asked why I had let their application through because 'it wasn't a proper address, it needs to be their address, not via someone else'.

Sort of related: before I moved to Japan I looked for an iPhone app with a map of Tokyo I could browse offline. Loads of them had one-star ratings and I kept wondering why, until I looked at a few reviews and kept seeing complaints that "this map doesn't have any street names"...

Soup Dogg

  • oompah loompah stick it up yer jumpah
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #151 on: March 04, 2019, 05:01:05 PM »
Just googled Tokyo street names to see what you were on about- fuck my hat etc.

Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #152 on: March 04, 2019, 05:11:42 PM »
You blockhead!


(soz i was also treated to the same revelations)

Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #153 on: March 04, 2019, 06:54:46 PM »
A colleague today had to have the below joke explained to her. It wasn't me who told the joke, it was one of the twatty managers.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

She'd heard of dyslexia but thought it was a skin disease and didn't have a clue what agnostic or insomniac meant.


A few years ago, I had a colleague who didn't understand how leap years worked. He though February had 28 days, then 29, then 30, then 31 before going back to 28 again.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #154 on: March 05, 2019, 08:13:35 AM »
That would be rather wonderful though.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #155 on: March 05, 2019, 08:15:38 AM »
One of my colleagues didn't know what an uncle was

Think he was aboot 28 too for reals. And he had a married sister, though wasn't an uncle, which was his excuse

Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #156 on: March 06, 2019, 03:13:48 PM »
Have I told you about the guy in my office who held out an apple, and said "who wants this banana?"  I don't think I have.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #157 on: March 06, 2019, 05:04:50 PM »
Sort of related: before I moved to Japan I looked for an iPhone app with a map of Tokyo I could browse offline. Loads of them had one-star ratings and I kept wondering why, until I looked at a few reviews and kept seeing complaints that "this map doesn't have any street names"...

I have heard about this before, but I've never understood how it works. How the hell do you navigate it? What's your address on a nameless street?

Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #158 on: March 06, 2019, 05:17:52 PM »
As I understand it, the blocks are numbered. So your address would be Flat 10, Block 32, Tokyo. Or something like that.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #159 on: March 06, 2019, 05:28:53 PM »
As I understand it, the blocks are numbered. So your address would be Flat 10, Block 32, Tokyo. Or something like that.

I'm aware I'm in danger of joining the stupid colleagues here but; what about roads with no buildings on them?

Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #160 on: March 06, 2019, 05:34:16 PM »
Chōme-ban-gō  innit.

Blue Jam

  • I've seen mushrooms with bigger brains
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #161 on: March 06, 2019, 06:21:43 PM »
I'm aware I'm in danger of joining the stupid colleagues here but; what about roads with no buildings on them?

No buildings, no need to send post...

(some of the major roads, like ours, have numbers)

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #162 on: March 07, 2019, 02:01:40 AM »
No buildings, no need to send post...

(some of the major roads, like ours, have numbers)

Ha, buildings without numbers are a fucking pain.  I remember at College being sent on a work experience to some place that had no number but was called St. Catherine's Mill, so I get to the road and start looking for this place and it's a long road and I walk for miles asking people and pensioners are telling me "I've lived here all my life and I've never heard of it" and eventually I cross the road and walk back the other way, and I think I walked up and then back down once more before saying fuck this shit and going home.  A few years ago I remembered it and looked on Google maps, and it's much much further along this massive fucking road than I walked, miles out, you're getting to the countryside by the time you get to this fucking mill place that's not even a mill, grrr, it's making me angry just thinking about it.  Even if the place itself had no numbers, it's neighbour on either side would have had a number which would have been helpful to finding it.

MissInformed

  • I wanna fuck the taste right out of your mouth
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #163 on: March 12, 2019, 10:06:17 AM »
I presume this is done so that when/if Mr. XYZ replies, especially with any awkward queries, it's you who has to deal with him, not your colleague.  Sneaky workload avoidance.

Does your colleague have a letterbox?  If so then just buy a She-Wee and a length of tubing, job done.

Either that or crack them on the arse for a laugh.
I'll be honest, it's more likely that I will punch her straight in her complaining face.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #164 on: March 12, 2019, 10:13:00 AM »
No buildings, no need to send post...

(some of the major roads, like ours, have numbers)

It's more for things like directions than post, as in if someone was trying to get from A to B here, you or the sat nav would tell them which roads to take, whereas in Tokyo presumably you have to say go past this building, then this one etc. Which I suppose works fine when you're used to it, it's just we're not.   

Hey, Punk!

  • Dead styles in the imaginary museum.
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #165 on: March 14, 2019, 03:55:49 PM »
I once worked with a man who asked me if the sun was bigger than a house. He wasn't joking either.

Lol, he must have been joking. The sun fits between my fingers.

Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #166 on: March 19, 2019, 07:19:46 PM »
A colleague said today that she didn't realise that fish had eyes. She also though piranhas weren't real.

I can't work out if she actually is thick, she's articulate enough when dealing with customers and seems to learn things quickly, or if she thinks it's endearing or cute to act stupid. Maybe she just has a blind spot when it comes to fish.

easytarget

  • five gas lighters for a pound
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #167 on: March 19, 2019, 08:49:32 PM »
A colleague said today that she didn't realise that fish had eyes. She also though piranhas weren't real.

I can't work out if she actually is thick, she's articulate enough when dealing with customers and seems to learn things quickly, or if she thinks it's endearing or cute to act stupid. Maybe she just has a blind spot when it comes to fish.
Piranhas and quicksand are of great importance when you're going up but you talk about them less and less as you get older and they could easily get filed away with other child-things like the easter bunny and the lord jesus christ.

kalowski

  • Sooner or later
Re: Colleagues who are just fucking stupid
« Reply #168 on: March 20, 2019, 06:39:53 AM »
Every time a woman is angry, it means they have their period.
It's a Wonderful Life reboot "needs work"