Alan Partridge haikus

[Fambo Number Mive]

Ah-Ha, the host shouts
Glen Ponder raises his arms
What's the band called, Glen?

http://www.haikusyllablecounter.com/ might help people like me who struggle with haikus

[rasta-spouse]

U switch to HD
Look at Lynne
More like Lynne
Ramsay

[ToneLa]

Go round to see Michael
What's the living arrangement
Sausage in a cup

[Fambo Number Mive]

He lifts up his top
My face is on his stomach
The others have left

[PlanktonSideburns]

Not as good as when
I had a full head of hair
NEVER SPEAK TO ME

[Cuellar]

My peep hole Pringle
Is modeled on an SA
S balaclava

[ToneLa]

Someone shouts a swear
Online rips it a new one
No Rule of Funny

[ToneLa]

Driving to Dundee
Pulped my book. Needless to say
I had the last laugh

[ToneLa]

Dan Dan Dan, Dan DAN
Dan Dan Dan Dan, DAN DAN DAN!
They're sex people Lynne.

[BeardFaceMan]

No second series?
Who..oo.ooo.whooo.oo.oo.whooooo
Do you think you are?

[ToneLa]

Best of the Beatles
Nothing to do with Pete Best
Although that still works

[ToneLa]

Evil genius
Who lives in underground base
Also Dr. No

[BeardFaceMan]

This makes little sense
It completely ruins things
"Partridge, you wanker!"

[ToneLa]

Worth of boast worlds
Funnier the third time round
Big in the back time

[ToneLa]

Alan's ladyboy
Fetish causes mass debate
On this very board

[Fambo Number Mive]

It's time for Sportsdesk
Chris looks at me and then I
Forget my next words

Alan's big pocket
What will be in it this week?
Nothing suitable

[Captain Z]

Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan
Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan
Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, DAN

[Ferris]

I've got a fat back
You wouldn't want to see me
In my underpants

[petril]

always on about
Benjamin Netanyahu
you'll never meet him

[Fambo Number Mive]

Time for some bonking
What's this now? Chocolate? NO!
Here's taxi money!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Dundee cake mashed up
Half a pound in the toilet
It flushes first time

[ToneLa]

I'm some twat online
What's with the mannerisms?
Alien Partridge

[Cuellar]

Giant chickens in
A shed. How did they get so
Big? Moo-oo-oo-oo

[petril]

ex-snooker player
is an unknown quantity;
not under a cow

[ToneLa]

You you're sacked you are
Because you have nervous twitch
You did it again!

[touchingcloth]

A big-eared farmboy
Feeding burgers to his swans.
Cows fall, water breaks.

[rasta-spouse]

Psychic Simon how you forget
to save messages
like u'r Mike Leigh's nuts
in may
bird it

[PlanktonSideburns]

Why must they change things?
Alan would never do this!
The one show? Like this?!

[rectorofstiffkey]

rover eight hundred
has been daubed with grafitti
cock, piss and partridge

[rasta-spouse]

Man fall out of the bleachers
what kind of comedy is it
slapstick he could
be hurt