Author Topic: Tolkien.  (Read 1556 times)

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #30 on: March 08, 2019, 09:50:15 PM »
The ending is brilliant

I would have appreciated spoiler alert, Blodders! ;)


amazon's doing a Silmarillion series apparently.

It's gonna be set before the events of Rings, but it's not a Silmarillion adaptation, as I understand it.

New page The Twatarillion.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #31 on: March 08, 2019, 09:51:09 PM »
The Adventures of Young Gandalf and Friends?

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #32 on: March 08, 2019, 09:52:24 PM »
The Adventures of Young Gandalf and Friends?

Sauron: My Early Struggles.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #33 on: March 08, 2019, 10:06:28 PM »
The last I heard, the rights to the Silmarillion are held by Tolkien's estate, which won't be allowing any adaptations any time soon. The only reason the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings films were made is that Tolkien flogged the rights in the 60s to raise the money to pay a huge income tax bill.

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #34 on: March 12, 2019, 11:21:22 AM »
Future The Sun headline when the lead actor is announced:

“LOOK WHO’S TOLKIEN”

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #35 on: March 13, 2019, 10:27:01 PM »
Tolkien: "Here is my book and that, it's called 'Lord of the Rings' like"
Publicist: "It's over a thousand pages?! Nobody will ever want to read that!"

Tolkien at the organ: "how about this? I'm not sure" [plays the opening to Light My Fire]

Smaug: "Yeah man! I am the Lizard King!"

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #36 on: March 14, 2019, 01:19:58 AM »
I bet they won't mention Birmingham once, fucking bastards.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #37 on: March 14, 2019, 11:54:35 AM »
OXFORD PUB
TIME: SEPIA

C.S. LEWIS: "Hello I'm C.S. Lewis I'll have a pint of foaming ale, please"

BARTENDER: "Right you are, me laddy. That'll be five U.K. pounds."

C.S. LEWIS: "Cheers, as we all say."

C.S. LEWIS LOOKS FOR A TABLE IN THE CROWDED "PUB" (SEE GLOSSARY). FINDS THE ONLY FREE SEAT. THE OTHER PERSON AT THE TABLE WEARS TWEED AND SMOKES A PIPE IS SUCKING ON A LOLLIPOP.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I am J.R.R. Tolkien, please, sit."

C.S. LEWIS: "Why thank you very much my good man I am politely obliged, of course, your majesty."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN RAISES AN EYEBROW, QUISLINGLY

C.S. LEWIS (nervous): "I say, what about that Edward the King that we're all talking about during this era?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN PUFFS ON HIS LOLLIPOP

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Mhm."

C.S. LEWIS (Britishly): Well, yes, ah... Um, well, what's that you're reading there, my chap friend?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Oh this? Just some piffle I put together about a small hairy man."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN SMILES ENIGMATICALLY

C.S. LEWIS: A small hairy man you say? What, like that chap bloke in the corner? Like him you mean?"

C.S. LEWIS GESTURES TOWARDS A STRANGE MAN IN THE CORNER. THEY BOTH OBSERVE HIM

STRANGE MAN: "I do beg your pardon, but my name ist Albert Einstein"

ENTIRE CAST EXCHANGE RAISED EYEBROWS

Dex Sawash

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #38 on: March 14, 2019, 12:41:49 PM »
^ this really captures the flavor and color of the neighborhood

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #39 on: March 14, 2019, 02:11:44 PM »
OXFORD AGAIN, BUT BEFORE

A YOUNG J.R.R. TOLKIEN IS IN HIS DORMS, WRITING FURIOUSLY AT HIS DESK. HE WEARS AN OXFORD VARSITY JACKET AND SUCKS A LOLLIPOP

JEEVES: "Anything else, Sir?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "No, Jeeves, can't you see I'm busy working on my great novel for children?"

JEEVES: "But Sir..."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I said beat it!"

JEEVES LEAVES THE ROOM AND PASSES TOLKIEN'S LOVE INTEREST IN THE HALLWAY.

WOMAN: "Oh deary me, I say, Jeeves me old mucker, what's to be done with young J.R.R. Tolkien? He's just so creative and exciting!"

JEEVES: "Quite right, quite right indeed. But all I wanted to do was tell him that a certain Mr Picasso was here to see him — whoever in the world that person may be!"

WOMAN: "Well it's certainly not a name I'm familiar with in 1914."

JEEVES: "Nor I. Well, good day to you, m'lady".

JEEVES TIPS HIS STOVE PIPE HAT AND EXITS.

WOMAN ENTERS THE DORM, A HOTBED OF PAPERS AND IDEAS. SHE MARVELS AT THE CREATIVITY OF SUCH A GENIUS.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN DOESN'T NOTICE HER. SHE TOUCHES HIS SHOULDER.

WOMAN: "Tolkien?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "What is it, baby?"

WOMAN: "Don't you remember? We were supposed to be going for lunch with my sour-faced bitch of a mother."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Look here, I don't have time for such entanglements, I'm working on something big. It'll teach the world all about the true meaning of wonder."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN FLAPS HIS HANDS TO ILLUSTRATE THE CONCEPT OF WONDER.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I'm not just a boring academic, you know."

WOMAN: "Yes that is true."

JEEVES RE-ENTERS. HE IS SWEATING AND CRYING.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Jeeves! What is it now you imbecile!"

JEEVES (holding up a piece of paper): "It's from the King. They've just declared the First World War".

THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR FIVE MINUTES

St_Eddie

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #40 on: March 14, 2019, 02:32:27 PM »
These script extracts are far too subtle to be credible.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #41 on: March 14, 2019, 02:40:19 PM »
The Silmarillion is a lovely book. High fantasy with clever dovetails into English folk tales and fairy stories. I liked it (and still read it occasionally), but I am an unrepentant Tolkien nerd.

Not mad on the films though (unless it’s christmas) and haven’t seen the hobbit film. Won’t watch this either, but I’m enjoying the thread and that’s the main thing.

Endicott

  • I've done no research
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #42 on: March 14, 2019, 02:44:43 PM »
J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I said beat it!"

You can't have this in the current climate.

Quote
J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "What is it Wanna be startin somethin, baby?"

Or this.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #43 on: March 14, 2019, 03:09:06 PM »
Tolkien cancelled.

Mr_Simnock

  • BREXIT? what brexit
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #44 on: March 17, 2019, 02:46:01 AM »
That fucking trailer, this film is going to be NUCLEAR level shite.

Default to the negative

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #45 on: March 22, 2019, 06:34:52 PM »
I only want to see a Tolkien film if it includes his more stuffy and eccentric behaviours.

Quote
"I vividly remember going to church with him in Bournemouth. He was a devout Roman Catholic and it was soon after the Church had changed the liturgy from Latin to English. My Grandfather obviously didn't agree with this and made all the responses very loudly in Latin while the rest of the congregation answered in English. I found the whole experience quite excruciating, but My Grandfather was oblivious. He simply had to do what he believed to be right…"

This is a great little 'embarrassing granddad' story I would like to see adapted. But they're probably going to give us Sexy Tolkien instead.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #46 on: March 22, 2019, 07:24:30 PM »
look who's Tolkien



it isn't Bruce Willis


Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #47 on: March 22, 2019, 07:30:36 PM »
According to biographer Humphrey Carpenter, he enjoyed the Marx Brothers films. Just thought I mention it.

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #48 on: May 21, 2019, 02:11:55 AM »
Saw this tonight. It was alright. A bit melodramatic and that. Some nice visuals.

Shaky

  • I drink your thread
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #49 on: May 21, 2019, 03:26:07 AM »
According to biographer Humphrey Carpenter, he enjoyed the Marx Brothers films. Just thought I mention it.

Humphrey Carpenter enjoyed the Marx Bros?

Quote
Chapter 10

This love for the memory of the countryside of his youth was later to become a central part of his writing, and it was intimately bound up with his love for the memory of his mother. More importantly, however, I have for some time been thoroughly entertained and amused by the cinematic work of Harpo, Chico and the others. No idea what Tolkien thought about them. Not a clue. Probably more of a Tarzan man. Loincloths and monkeys. Yes, that was more his bag.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #50 on: May 21, 2019, 05:57:26 AM »
WAR
EUROPE (FRANCE?)

YOUNG TOLKIEN IS IN A TRENCH
BOMBS ARE GOING OFF AT AN ALARMING RATE

PYLE: Well, gawwww-leeeee, Sarge, if this ain't a first world war and make no mistake.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Quite.

PYLE: Say, Sarge, d'ya think this war will ever end?

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Yes I do, Private. And there certainly won't be another one afterwards, you can bet your bottom dollar on that one, matey.

GENERAL CHURCHILL ENTERS TO INSPECT THE TROOPS

GENERAL CHURCHILL: What what what, you jerks quit your slacking! This war won't fight itself, see.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN AND PYLE: Sir yes Sir!

GENERAL CHURCHILL: I know your type, Tolkien. I suppose you think the world is all sweetness and light, nice cups of beer and lollypops and what have you? Little do you know the world is a dangerous place full of evil men like Hitler.

PYLE: And Sauron, Sir!

GENERAL CHURCHILL: Quite right, Pyle. That jerk Sauron's got his evil eye in everything. Well I'd like to poke him in the eye! And that's why we're fighting this war, you guys, for democracy.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: To democracy!

HE SALUTES, WEEPING

PYLE: Well, gawwww-leeeee.

GENERAL CHURCHILL: Keep up the good work, men. And god bless the King.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN AND PYLE: God bless him!

CHURCHILL EXITS

PYLE: Say, Sarge, d'ya have a best girl back home?

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Indeed, I might, my good man. A real sweetie. Pale skin, ethereal manner, pointy ears. A guy could go through a lot just to get back to a gal like that.

PYLE: Well golly gee, Sarge, she sure sounds pretty swell. She got a name, this girl?

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Legolas.

PYLE: Gosh that's a pretty name. I got me a girl too, Sarge. I sure hope I don't die before I get to see her again.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Likewise, chum.

A NAZI BOMB FALLS ON PYLE'S SHOULDER

TOLKIEN: Pyle!

PYLE (IN AGONY): Well, looks like it's the end for me, Sarge. I'm dying. Shame shame shame!

TOLKIEN: Don't you die on me, Pyle! What about that girl of yours.

PYLE: Oh, her? I guess she'll have to go on without ol' Pyle.

TOLKIEN: Quit your yapping! You're going back home on account of injury. Boy, I'm jealous of you!

PYLE (CHUCKLES DESPITE THE PAIN): Well... gaw-lee Sarge... Thanks for being so nice... But I'm done for.

TOLKIEN: Don't say that. You're gonna make it!

PYLE: Would you do... something for me Sarge?

TOLKIEN: Sure, pal. Anything.

PYLE: Would you give this... this letter to my gal?

TOLKIEN: Of course, my dear chap. What's her name anyway?

PYLE: Her name is... Treebeard.

TOLKIEN: What a pretty name.

PYLE: Ain't it just? Maybe... maybe you can put it in that story you're always writing.

TOLKIEN: Sure buddy. When I'm finished you can read two thirds of it then give up.

PYLE (SMILES): I'd like that.

PYLE DIES

TOLKIEN (SCREAMING): Noooooooooooo!

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #51 on: May 21, 2019, 06:11:01 AM »
As a lover of the Lord of the Rings mythos but as someone who loathes biopics, is there any point to watching this?

In regards to a Silmarillion adaptation, it's an overall good thing that the rights ars locked up. They should do what they did with the Shadow of Mordor games: take a little bit of lore, i.e Sauron's deception of Celebrimbor to create the rings of power, and then add their own elements of fiction to it, use the lore as a backdrop for new events - as long as they don't disregard canon - instead of just adapting the Silmarillion.

I must admit I would have LOVED to have seen Peter Jackson have a crack at the creation of Arda, the singing of songs into the world, the depiction of the Valar and Maia, the War of Wrath etc. Would be a proper spectacle.

St_Eddie

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #52 on: May 21, 2019, 07:59:38 AM »
As a lover of the Lord of the Rings mythos but as someone who loathes biopics, is there any point to watching this?

This told me all that I need to know (I trust Matthew Buck's opinions.  He was spot on about David Brent: life on the Road, for example).

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #53 on: May 21, 2019, 09:03:46 AM »
little known radio massacre international fact- two of our albums have extracts of 'the hobbit' being read out.

couldn't give a shit about the flick though.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #54 on: May 21, 2019, 09:06:42 AM »
As a lover of the Lord of the Rings mythos but as someone who loathes biopics, is there any point to watching this?

In regards to a Silmarillion adaptation, it's an overall good thing that the rights ars locked up. They should do what they did with the Shadow of Mordor games: take a little bit of lore, i.e Sauron's deception of Celebrimbor to create the rings of power, and then add their own elements of fiction to it, use the lore as a backdrop for new events - as long as they don't disregard canon - instead of just adapting the Silmarillion.

I must admit I would have LOVED to have seen Peter Jackson have a crack at the creation of Arda, the singing of songs into the world, the depiction of the Valar and Maia, the War of Wrath etc. Would be a proper spectacle.

From what I'v heard rumour wise recently it this seems like it might actually be what Amazon are doing, taking events from the second age that are also covered in the Return of the King appendix(which they have the rights to) rather than just in the Silmarillion and expanding them into a more detailed story.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #55 on: May 21, 2019, 09:11:39 AM »
Fair play then, might give it a go.

If they did a show about the blue wizards in the east that would be amazing.