Author Topic: Tolkien.  (Read 1198 times)

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #30 on: March 08, 2019, 09:50:15 PM »
The ending is brilliant

I would have appreciated spoiler alert, Blodders! ;)


amazon's doing a Silmarillion series apparently.

It's gonna be set before the events of Rings, but it's not a Silmarillion adaptation, as I understand it.

New page The Twatarillion.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #31 on: March 08, 2019, 09:51:09 PM »
The Adventures of Young Gandalf and Friends?

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #32 on: March 08, 2019, 09:52:24 PM »
The Adventures of Young Gandalf and Friends?

Sauron: My Early Struggles.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #33 on: March 08, 2019, 10:06:28 PM »
The last I heard, the rights to the Silmarillion are held by Tolkien's estate, which won't be allowing any adaptations any time soon. The only reason the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings films were made is that Tolkien flogged the rights in the 60s to raise the money to pay a huge income tax bill.

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #34 on: March 12, 2019, 11:21:22 AM »
Future The Sun headline when the lead actor is announced:

“LOOK WHO’S TOLKIEN”

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #35 on: March 13, 2019, 10:27:01 PM »
Tolkien: "Here is my book and that, it's called 'Lord of the Rings' like"
Publicist: "It's over a thousand pages?! Nobody will ever want to read that!"

Tolkien at the organ: "how about this? I'm not sure" [plays the opening to Light My Fire]

Smaug: "Yeah man! I am the Lizard King!"

Hey, Punk!

  • Dead styles in the imaginary museum.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #36 on: March 14, 2019, 01:19:58 AM »
I bet they won't mention Birmingham once, fucking bastards.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #37 on: March 14, 2019, 11:54:35 AM »
OXFORD PUB
TIME: SEPIA

C.S. LEWIS: "Hello I'm C.S. Lewis I'll have a pint of foaming ale, please"

BARTENDER: "Right you are, me laddy. That'll be five U.K. pounds."

C.S. LEWIS: "Cheers, as we all say."

C.S. LEWIS LOOKS FOR A TABLE IN THE CROWDED "PUB" (SEE GLOSSARY). FINDS THE ONLY FREE SEAT. THE OTHER PERSON AT THE TABLE WEARS TWEED AND SMOKES A PIPE IS SUCKING ON A LOLLIPOP.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I am J.R.R. Tolkien, please, sit."

C.S. LEWIS: "Why thank you very much my good man I am politely obliged, of course, your majesty."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN RAISES AN EYEBROW, QUISLINGLY

C.S. LEWIS (nervous): "I say, what about that Edward the King that we're all talking about during this era?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN PUFFS ON HIS LOLLIPOP

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Mhm."

C.S. LEWIS (Britishly): Well, yes, ah... Um, well, what's that you're reading there, my chap friend?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Oh this? Just some piffle I put together about a small hairy man."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN SMILES ENIGMATICALLY

C.S. LEWIS: A small hairy man you say? What, like that chap bloke in the corner? Like him you mean?"

C.S. LEWIS GESTURES TOWARDS A STRANGE MAN IN THE CORNER. THEY BOTH OBSERVE HIM

STRANGE MAN: "I do beg your pardon, but my name ist Albert Einstein"

ENTIRE CAST EXCHANGE RAISED EYEBROWS

Dex Sawash

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #38 on: March 14, 2019, 12:41:49 PM »
^ this really captures the flavor and color of the neighborhood

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #39 on: March 14, 2019, 02:11:44 PM »
OXFORD AGAIN, BUT BEFORE

A YOUNG J.R.R. TOLKIEN IS IN HIS DORMS, WRITING FURIOUSLY AT HIS DESK. HE WEARS AN OXFORD VARSITY JACKET AND SUCKS A LOLLIPOP

JEEVES: "Anything else, Sir?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "No, Jeeves, can't you see I'm busy working on my great novel for children?"

JEEVES: "But Sir..."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I said beat it!"

JEEVES LEAVES THE ROOM AND PASSES TOLKIEN'S LOVE INTEREST IN THE HALLWAY.

WOMAN: "Oh deary me, I say, Jeeves me old mucker, what's to be done with young J.R.R. Tolkien? He's just so creative and exciting!"

JEEVES: "Quite right, quite right indeed. But all I wanted to do was tell him that a certain Mr Picasso was here to see him — whoever in the world that person may be!"

WOMAN: "Well it's certainly not a name I'm familiar with in 1914."

JEEVES: "Nor I. Well, good day to you, m'lady".

JEEVES TIPS HIS STOVE PIPE HAT AND EXITS.

WOMAN ENTERS THE DORM, A HOTBED OF PAPERS AND IDEAS. SHE MARVELS AT THE CREATIVITY OF SUCH A GENIUS.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN DOESN'T NOTICE HER. SHE TOUCHES HIS SHOULDER.

WOMAN: "Tolkien?"

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "What is it, baby?"

WOMAN: "Don't you remember? We were supposed to be going for lunch with my sour-faced bitch of a mother."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Look here, I don't have time for such entanglements, I'm working on something big. It'll teach the world all about the true meaning of wonder."

J.R.R. TOLKIEN FLAPS HIS HANDS TO ILLUSTRATE THE CONCEPT OF WONDER.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I'm not just a boring academic, you know."

WOMAN: "Yes that is true."

JEEVES RE-ENTERS. HE IS SWEATING AND CRYING.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "Jeeves! What is it now you imbecile!"

JEEVES (holding up a piece of paper): "It's from the King. They've just declared the First World War".

THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR FIVE MINUTES

St_Eddie

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #40 on: March 14, 2019, 02:32:27 PM »
These script extracts are far too subtle to be credible.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #41 on: March 14, 2019, 02:40:19 PM »
The Silmarillion is a lovely book. High fantasy with clever dovetails into English folk tales and fairy stories. I liked it (and still read it occasionally), but I am an unrepentant Tolkien nerd.

Not mad on the films though (unless it’s christmas) and haven’t seen the hobbit film. Won’t watch this either, but I’m enjoying the thread and that’s the main thing.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #42 on: March 14, 2019, 02:44:43 PM »
J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "I said beat it!"

You can't have this in the current climate.

Quote
J.R.R. TOLKIEN: "What is it Wanna be startin somethin, baby?"

Or this.

Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #43 on: March 14, 2019, 03:09:06 PM »
Tolkien cancelled.

Mr_Simnock

  • BREXIT? what brexit
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #44 on: March 17, 2019, 02:46:01 AM »
That fucking trailer, this film is going to be NUCLEAR level shite.

Default to the negative

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #45 on: March 22, 2019, 06:34:52 PM »
I only want to see a Tolkien film if it includes his more stuffy and eccentric behaviours.

Quote
"I vividly remember going to church with him in Bournemouth. He was a devout Roman Catholic and it was soon after the Church had changed the liturgy from Latin to English. My Grandfather obviously didn't agree with this and made all the responses very loudly in Latin while the rest of the congregation answered in English. I found the whole experience quite excruciating, but My Grandfather was oblivious. He simply had to do what he believed to be right…"

This is a great little 'embarrassing granddad' story I would like to see adapted. But they're probably going to give us Sexy Tolkien instead.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #46 on: March 22, 2019, 07:24:30 PM »
look who's Tolkien



it isn't Bruce Willis


Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Tolkien.
« Reply #47 on: March 22, 2019, 07:30:36 PM »
According to biographer Humphrey Carpenter, he enjoyed the Marx Brothers films. Just thought I mention it.