Author Topic: £5 for a wank pass from April  (Read 9126 times)

£5 for a wank pass from April
« on: March 07, 2019, 06:22:54 PM »
Um i'm glad our government are keeping our kids safe by making us confirm our identity when we want a cheeky tug

https://www.mirror.co.uk/tech/uk-porn-block-comes-force-14091429

£5 if you go into a Tesco and buy a "Portes Card" you can use with an app or some shit which sounds like far too much effort.

Making money and tracking your identity in a nationalistic, puritanical society where your wealth defines your value hooray!

ToneLa

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2019, 06:31:18 PM »
This government fuck so much up I'm not worried aboot circumventing the shite

Cuellar

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2019, 06:33:13 PM »
"ONE PORN TOKEN MY GOOD MAN"

I imagine a simple VPN will get round this?

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2019, 06:34:48 PM »
So if I'm already subscribed to an adult site will I still need to do this? If so I'll need to cancel a couple of subscriptions as I'm not giving my personal details over to AgeID.


Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2019, 06:40:40 PM »
"ONE PORN TOKEN MY GOOD MAN"

I imagine a simple VPN will get round this?

There's one built in to opera.

Seriously if you can't figure your way around it you don't deserve a wank.

Cuellar

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2019, 06:41:18 PM »
I would be v interested in sales figures for these wank cards.

biggytitbo

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2019, 06:43:05 PM »
Cool that it involves giving everyones commercially valuable details to one company, nothing can go wrong!


Isn't this the same thing where the site has to have a certain % of porn to qualify? So that's one loophole, and vpn - opera is going to boom. But how long before they ban those too?

Twed

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2019, 06:45:25 PM »
Fucking idiots. Absolute cretins.

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2019, 06:48:17 PM »
Cool that it involves giving everyones commercially valuable details to one company, nothing can go wrong!


According to the article that's impossible because passwords and email addresses are 'hashed' (so presumably outside of password reset, where you have to re-enter your email address they can never email you).

If it isn't also embedded in every page and filling a database full of what $HASHED_USER has viewed, both for marketing and government tracking purposes, I will eat my fucking hat.

I can guarantee this service won't just be for grot, it'll be a convenient 'existing system' that can be used for more seemingly benign services until it's all over the shop. Take that TLS!

ToneLa

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2019, 06:52:00 PM »
So if I'm already subscribed to an adult site

people still do this??

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2019, 06:59:25 PM »
So sending people to the darknet for wanking purposes is a good idea is it?

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2019, 07:13:44 PM »
In the good old days they'd make themself a young lady from out of straw and old gingham from the market, and that was all they needed. These were working men, they got on with it, and it was wholesome. It's all on computers these days, now, isn't it, it's all got to be on computers, and the young men have withered jonathan sticks from lazing around all day, I've seen bigger things crawl out of cheese. Time for another war.

im barry bethel

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2019, 07:13:50 PM »
"ONE PORN TOKEN MY GOOD MAN"

The porn hedge reinvents itself for the 21st Century

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2019, 07:15:32 PM »
Yeah VPN use will just explode

Also hashed user details have been compromised before. Imagine if the UK wanker database was blown wide open. Apocalypse

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2019, 07:21:03 PM »
Yeah VPN use will just explode

Also hashed user details have been compromised before. Imagine if the UK wanker database was blown wide open. Apocalypse

My last work built systems used by major companies that still used unsalted MD5; I knew better than that when I was doing my university project.

I mentioned it was shite and would probably be reputationally awful if it got compromised. It was always 'too much risk' or 'not doing it unless the client pays for it and we can't market it to them'. Until infosec became a common word and they realised they could charge shitloads by identifying and fixing the fuck-up's and cut corners they themselves were responsible for.

king_tubby

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2019, 07:35:55 PM »
How do they define 'porn website'? Cos, you know, flickr is chock full of absolute filth if you look for it. Arse. Tits. Fanny. The lot.

Um, the vicar told me.

Replies From View

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2019, 07:38:47 PM »
So sending people to the darknet for wanking purposes is a good idea is it?

The darknet or public places.

ToneLa

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2019, 07:39:54 PM »
How do they even know what weird, quotidian shite I consider porn? Cor, b&q's website!

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2019, 07:41:34 PM »
do you need a special pass to look at overweight furries on deviantart

asking for a, uhh, enemy

St_Eddie

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2019, 07:43:05 PM »
THEY MAY TAKE OUR FREEDOM BUT THEY WILL NEVER WIPE MY HARD DRIVE!

Twed

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #20 on: March 07, 2019, 07:43:49 PM »
My last work built systems used by major companies that still used unsalted MD5; I knew better than that when I was doing my university project.

I mentioned it was shite and would probably be reputationally awful if it got compromised. It was always 'too much risk' or 'not doing it unless the client pays for it and we can't market it to them'. Until infosec became a common word and they realised they could charge shitloads by identifying and fixing the fuck-up's and cut corners they themselves were responsible for.
Ugh. Ridiculous, given that it's more difficult to roll your own MD5-based hash system than it is to just use bcrypt.

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2019, 07:45:50 PM »
Ugh. Ridiculous, given that it's more difficult to roll your own MD5-based hash system than it is to just use bcrypt.

The MD5 class was a copy and paste job, presumably they implemented this in the mid-late 2000's when they decided to stop creating an Oracle user per application user and authenticate with that1. I know this because I used the same one as a student and recognised the comments.

My new work has abandoned holding user data itself and just uses Cognito.

1 A throwaway from when the application was non-web and horrid client-server forms thing using Centura. Every machine with the app needed the Oracle client installed (meaning a savvy user could use sqlplus to get at the database) I saw more than one instance IN PRODUCTION where the schema owner  AND PASSWORD was just the name of the application. Nobody seemed to give a shit, and what I find baffling is in the latter case you'd expect the DBA/IT people on their side to go 'hang on'.

chveik

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #22 on: March 07, 2019, 07:57:31 PM »

Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #23 on: March 07, 2019, 08:04:12 PM »
THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF WE WOULD JUST HURRY UP AND LEAVE THE EU!

Kelvin

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #24 on: March 07, 2019, 08:09:01 PM »
Finally, something to shake the public out of their complacency.

Blodwyn might get his revolution after all. 

imitationleather

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #25 on: March 07, 2019, 08:09:18 PM »
Why didn't I listen to smbh when he advised me to download all of the porn on the internet while I still could?

I'm going to have to chuck my muck over the elderly swimmers in that BBC1 ident while he sits on a pile of filth-filled hard drives and laughs at me.

St_Eddie

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #26 on: March 07, 2019, 08:13:43 PM »
Why didn't I listen to smbh when he advised me to download all of the porn on the internet while I still could?

Your man, Ron Hayward, has the last laugh.

up_the_hampipe

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #27 on: March 07, 2019, 08:56:04 PM »
I swear I see these articles about an impending porn ban all the time and it never happens.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #28 on: March 07, 2019, 09:02:03 PM »
I can guarantee this service won't just be for grot, it'll be a convenient 'existing system' that can be used for more seemingly benign services until it's all over the shop. Take that TLS!

Fuck grumble material, this is the real worry.  "Want to be able to buy something on the internet?  Fiver please mate.  Before you can buy something off the internet".  "Want to engage in online conversation with others about phimosis and crisps?  Fiver please mate".  "Like to talk to your friends on messaging services?  Fiver please mate".

I also don't believe "one time verification" for a second.

Christ, I'm really starting to hate this country.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2019, 09:15:10 PM by Shit Good Nose »

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: £5 for a wank pass from April
« Reply #29 on: March 07, 2019, 09:05:48 PM »
Porn is a massive waste of time, spunk and mind power, I for one am glad it is all being destroyed.