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March 28, 2024, 04:35:46 PM

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£5 for a wank pass from April

Started by idunnosomename, March 07, 2019, 06:22:54 PM

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Replies From View

Quote from: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on March 07, 2019, 09:05:48 PM
Porn is a massive waste of time, spunk and mind power, I for one am glad it is all being destroyed.

Yes it's great, but due to be destroyed in the next wave are your time, spunk and mind power.

biggytitbo

Amazing how little discussion this is getting, I'm guessing most people just don't know about it so are in for a shock on April fools day. I guess the size of the backlash will be a measure of how comfortable people are to admitting to using porn.

thenoise

No worries I'll just spy on European exchange students sunbathing topless on the beach.

oh wait the government banned them too!!1

wooders1978

I'm at peace with it - I watch to much porn if I'm being honest, it's just too easy to nip on pornhub or whatever and if it's going to be a pain in the arse now I can fuck it off I reckon, pardon the pun

biggytitbo

It's low hanging fruit though isn't it (itself a highly recommended porn vid), this is the first step to government/corporate control over the whole internet.

shiftwork2

Imagine if there was no porno available and some bloke in a pub offered you the whole lot forever for a fiver.   You'd be up there like a rat up a drainpipe you dirty bollocks!

idunnosomename

I'm a sadist so I'm blue-balling for when this happens and I can rub a massive one off over everyone losing their porn

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Can someone precis what I need to do to continue wanking to pornography unabated after this change?

Is it just "switch on VPN then return to manhandling own penis"?

Cuellar


Blumf

Quote from: idunnosomename on March 11, 2019, 01:07:39 PM
I'm a sadist so I'm blue-balling for when this happens and I can rub a massive one off over everyone losing their porn

Get back to sorting out that Brexit mess Theresa!

biggytitbo

Are we the first western country to introduce a wanking licence?

Cuellar

Don't know if you need to pay for a card thingy, but apparently ageID are already operating in Germany.

Wet Blanket

Didn't Germany have a thing where you couldn't buy ordinary Hollywood films that have their equivalent of an 18 certificate without ID, and this was a massive bollocks for online retailers?

idunnosomename

I mean I remember Germany made Carmageddon have green blood in it, not sure if they did the same with cum in pornos

thenoise

Quote from: biggytitbo on March 11, 2019, 01:31:02 PM
Are we the first western country to introduce a wanking licence?

About time we introduced a sex licence too, I'm absolutely fed up with young people today having sex all over the place with gay abandon.

biggytitbo

Quote from: idunnosomename on March 11, 2019, 02:27:52 PM
I mean I remember Germany made Carmageddon have green blood in it, not sure if they did the same with cum in pornos


Only the Incredible Hulk porn sub-genre.

H-O-W-L

Quote from: thenoise on March 11, 2019, 02:29:30 PM
About time we introduced a sex licence too, I'm absolutely fed up with young people today having sex all over the place with gay abandon.

I bet you are, you dirty old bollocks. Don't be such a homophone.

gilbertharding

Quote from: shiftwork2 on March 11, 2019, 08:47:22 AM
Imagine if there was no porno available and some bloke in a pub offered you the whole lot forever for a fiver and the strongly implied threat that at any point in the future the same bloke could 'accidentally' tell the whole world including everyone you know that you are a wanker.

*balls shrivel*

gilbertharding

I mean, I shouldn't really worry. I've had a bloody good run - some would say I was in my prime during the Golden Age of Onanism... but at my age I reckon I only had a few more years of self-abuse in me anyway.

Thursday

What's a good vpn now then? The thing I found in the past was it would slow things down, which would surely cause a problem when streaming?

Ferris

Why don't I buy 1,000 of them from tesco, then sell them on individually for 10 quid a pop.

My USP? I don't keep any records. They'll trace back to me, so you can watch as much filth as you want and you won't be found on The List when it inevitably leaks.

I'd like 500k for 10% of my business.

*cut to Evan Davis*

Young entrepreneur Ferris has come up with an innovative way to anonymize the nation's grot, but as massive wankers themselves, will his aggressive pitch to their industry anger the Dragons?

alan nagsworth

The rain mans of this world with their encyclopaedic knowledge of every porn they've ever seen are going to be the real winners after all this.

Personally though I'll be reverting to the good old "spank bank", picturing myself hate-fucking every woman who's ever crossed me, which is every woman. Can't wait to blow the cobwebs off that little gold mine.

Fambo Number Mive

In a new survey commissioned for the BBC Three series Porn Laid Bare, 50% were in favour of the porn ban. The BBC article has a button with "PORN" on a computer, as if you could just find porn by pressing a button on the keyboard. Total scaremongering. The front page link to the article has an app named "PORN".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/bb79a2ce-0de4-4965-98f0-9ebbcfcc2a60

thenoise

Yeah - totally unrealistic.  It should be in a folder labelled 'homework'.  on a desktop computer in 1998.

gilbertharding

I realise it's early days, but has anyone had one of these £5 wanks yet?

Paul Calf

It's been delayed. No-one knows for how long.

paruses

Quote from: Paul Calf on April 01, 2019, 02:27:28 PM
It's been delayed. No-one knows for how long.

<Joke about edging here> - can someone fill it in please? I have a lot on today and no time.

gilbertharding

Quote from: Paul Calf on April 01, 2019, 02:27:28 PM
It's been delayed. No-one knows for how long.

I heard we'd been granted an extension. Sexit.

shiftwork2

I splashed out on a pass and now it's not needed.  Have I got any comeback?

Paul Calf

Quote from: gilbertharding on April 01, 2019, 02:33:00 PM
I heard we'd been granted an extension. Sexit.

You can get ointment for it.



They sell this in fucking Tesco now. You used to have to go to dodgy shops in gritty parts of town or get it mail order from PO boxes advertised on the backs of wank mags.