Author Topic: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?  (Read 40240 times)

Artie Fufkin

  • Let Me In, Sparks
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #330 on: March 26, 2021, 12:51:22 PM »
Did you hear about the man who threw his 'intimate hair' at passers by?
He was arrested for being a pubic nuisance.

Top of the page!!

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #331 on: April 13, 2021, 12:37:20 AM »
remember geddin' stabbed outside the Blind Beggar? What were allthaddabowt!?

yes, it's Peter Kray!

timebug

  • Father of Serge
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #332 on: April 29, 2021, 08:54:24 AM »
Colony of bats hanging from the roof of a cave. Leader awakes,ready to fly out and feed,when he spots one of his colony down on the floor of the cave. 'What are you doing down there?' he asks. 'Yoga' came the reply.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #333 on: April 29, 2021, 01:30:54 PM »
What do mafia bees mete out on rival hive members?

beeswhacks

Fr.Bigley

  • Shall I boil this kettle dry?
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #334 on: April 29, 2021, 02:56:33 PM »
Why did the Irishman smell of shit?

because he had severe Crohn's disease and has to wear a stoma bag, he's sensitive about it

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #335 on: May 19, 2021, 11:36:26 PM »
Not sure what range eggs are, but I can't quibble with the price.

timebug

  • Father of Serge
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #336 on: May 20, 2021, 08:59:13 AM »
Two scientists walk into a bar. First scientist says 'I will have a glass of H20 please' and the second scientist says 'I will have a glass of H20, too!'. First scientist was okay, but the second one was seriously ill and rushed to hospital.

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #337 on: May 23, 2021, 07:38:34 PM »
Not sure what free range eggs are, but I can't quibble with the price.

I've fixed it for posterity. The blame still lies with you, though.

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #338 on: May 23, 2021, 07:50:07 PM »
NO. NO. WRONG. STOP RUINING JOKES.

bakabaka

  • Have we got over our differences yet? (ho/hum)
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #339 on: May 23, 2021, 08:10:00 PM »
How do you get off an elephant?

You don't, you get off a duck.

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #340 on: May 24, 2021, 05:45:24 PM »
I've fixed it for posterity. The blame still lies with you, though.

Wow you found a way to make it even less funny.

timebug

  • Father of Serge
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #341 on: June 01, 2021, 05:18:32 PM »
I used to play triangle in a reggae band. I sat next to the drummer an 'ting....

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #342 on: June 01, 2021, 07:19:00 PM »
What do Dungeons and Dragons players have for breakfast?

20 sided Dice Krispies

Echo Valley 2-6809

  • Part of no circle
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #343 on: June 02, 2021, 05:18:28 PM »
Where was the lead singer of the band Imagination born?

Tripoli.

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #344 on: June 04, 2021, 12:06:59 PM »
What do you call a pizza that has been folded in half?

A calzone.

Fr.Bigley

  • Shall I boil this kettle dry?
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #345 on: June 04, 2021, 01:48:32 PM »
Why did the Scotsman leave nothing to his wife in his will?

Because Margaret thatcher tore the heart out of the Clyde ship building industry

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #346 on: June 05, 2021, 01:49:43 PM »
Why did the nudist enter the Scottish pub?

He heard there was nae-kids allowed

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #347 on: June 15, 2021, 04:19:32 PM »
A bellboy helps a psychoanalyst with their enormous amount of luggage. "A lot to unpack here!" he says.

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #348 on: June 21, 2021, 01:49:13 PM »
Why was the Scottish man surprised when his plane landed in California rather than flying round the world forever?

Because when he asked what the destination was, he was told 'disnae land'.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
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  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #349 on: June 21, 2021, 04:47:39 PM »
Why was the Scottish man surprised when his plane landed in California rather than flying round the world forever?

Because when he asked what the destination was, he was told 'disnae land'.

Made me laugh.

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