Author Topic: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?  (Read 3844 times)

Crabwalk

  • Member
  • **
  • I behaved like a skinhead.
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #90 on: April 02, 2019, 01:27:17 AM »
Apparently there’s a corridor in the ‘New York City High School for the Performing Arts’ that’s full of memorabilia for Bill Haley, Chuck Berry and Buddy Holly.

That’s right, it’s ‘the Fame Hall of Rock’n’Roll’, you dweebs.

H-O-W-L

  • CHRIST! CAT BRUSH!
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #91 on: April 02, 2019, 02:46:00 AM »
Garlic Bread????

Crabwalk

  • Member
  • **
  • I behaved like a skinhead.
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #92 on: April 02, 2019, 06:58:01 AM »
Hey dweebs, why are twins not allowed to work in fruit processing factories?

That’s right, it’s because they always cum in pears.

Twit 2

  • Cyclone par l'immobile habité
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #93 on: April 02, 2019, 06:01:18 PM »
I was reading about the Indian guru Dedattha Syeen. He was pronounced ‘Dead at the Scene’.

Bennett Brauer

  • I'm not "likeable"
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #94 on: April 04, 2019, 12:50:04 AM »
How do socially pretentious goths greet each other at parties?

"Noir! Noir!"

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #95 on: April 04, 2019, 07:14:45 AM »
It's Grand National weekend, so I had a go on the sweep in the pub last night.
If I'm a good boy they're going to let me play with sooty tonight.

Bennett Brauer

  • I'm not "likeable"
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #96 on: April 06, 2019, 12:59:27 AM »
Why did Lenny Henry's kitten suddenly scratch him?

Cat anger, my friend.

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #97 on: April 15, 2019, 02:42:08 AM »
my army sergeant told me to stick a masonry bit up my arse.
I asked him why?
He said "it's just part of the drill"

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #98 on: April 15, 2019, 11:53:38 AM »
I had to do a urine test one time when I had a brief stay in the Priory for depression, and they wanted to check people weren't doing any drugs. I was given a little pot for it. I was discussing it in the common room with some of the other mentals and in the course of this someone playfully took the pot and threw it across the room. Seizing the opportunity I said, "now I don't have a pot to piss in!". These chances don't come along often.

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Very tired. Sorry if my recent posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #99 on: April 15, 2019, 12:03:48 PM »
...check people weren't doing any drugs. I was given a little pot...

Very irresponsible

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #100 on: April 15, 2019, 12:11:34 PM »
Very irresponsible

You think that's bad. You should have seen all the pills and stuff they had - and they would actually hand them out to people each day too. Outrageous.

zomgmouse

  • I have party diarrhoea.
    • BEN VOLCHOK DOT COM
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #101 on: April 16, 2019, 04:58:18 AM »
Have you noticed how mucus proudly floats on water?

It's phlegm buoyant.




Please follow me on Twitter

Like share subscribe for more content

Sent from Samsung Galaxy S8

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #102 on: April 16, 2019, 12:45:27 PM »
What is a very high waterfall's favourite hip hop group?

Niagaras With Altitude.


pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #103 on: April 17, 2019, 02:12:31 AM »
What do lonely Chinese men do?

They go out and they get some ho fun.

Re: Have we had a jokes thread in a while?
« Reply #104 on: April 17, 2019, 05:29:04 AM »

What's big, white and furry and goes up and down?

A bipolar bear.