Author Topic: Make my housemate stop making noises  (Read 2044 times)

Make my housemate stop making noises
« on: March 09, 2019, 09:33:53 AM »
He frequently goes "AARGH!" as if he's a voice actor for a video game and the script just says "AARGH!". Yesterday he did this while in the middle of pissing. He's in his 20s so I assume he doesn't have to push to piss, but who knows. Other times he's done it when he's in the yard, or in the hallway, and its always loud and always weirdly precisely "AARGH!", in exactly the same manner. If I didn't know better I'd assume he has a recording of himself that he just plays every so often.

Today in the bathroom he developed a new sound, "EEEAAAE".

I don't like the way he walks in the hallway. He frequently rushes about for no good reason and his footfall is very distinguishable from the other housemates.

He is also tuneless. Again - it's like he's a voice actor with a script that just says "[tuneless humming]". Its astonishing how tuneless he is, so very precisely tuneless. And his voice is so dull I find myself wondering if its some medical problem that makes him sound so monotonous and awful.

What to do?

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2019, 09:58:25 AM »
If you stop oxygen getting to his brain for a certain amount of time he'll die hope this helps

But doesn't he just have Tourettes or something.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2019, 10:03:36 AM »
Record him and play it back to see his response.  If he's embarrassed or apologetic, fine.  Otherwise, kill him.

seepage

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2019, 10:23:13 AM »
Is he a pirate?

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2019, 10:24:19 AM »
Just to check: have you told him the random screaming is a bit inconsiderate? That might work

kngen

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2019, 11:28:49 AM »
If you find this is getting in the way of your Rimworld updates, you should definitely murder him for the greater good.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2019, 11:30:40 AM »
AAAARGH!

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2019, 11:44:06 AM »
He sounds like a bellend. There's a guy who lives next door to me who is really pale and doughy and tall with very long lank black hair who has a very rigid routine of taking ages to answer the door when his girlfriend knocks on it (she's over every night, surely he's expecting her by now) and seems to let the meandering annoying piano jingle bell play right through every time. Then she laughs constantly while she's over there in a really yelpy way and at some point he'll start shouting "NOOOOOOO!" "NOOOOOOO!" Every fucking night.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2019, 11:46:26 AM »
Quote
doughy and tall with very long lank black hair who has a very rigid routine

I bet he does, the dirty old bollocks. I fucking bet he does

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2019, 11:47:09 AM »
Just got shot of an idiot like this. Total bossy twat who tried to tell everyone else what to do was his main area of annoyingness, but also ridiculously loud yawning all the time and laughing loudly to himself. Also clomped around in a floorshaking manner and made ridiculous amounts of noise while cooking.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2019, 12:33:41 PM »
Most annoying co-worker refuses to let any moment go unobserved like the copy room guy in the SNL sketch. Top few he does any time you pass near him
Having fun?
Fun, fun, fun?
There's <your name>
By far the most frequent and annoying is a sort of loudly hummed HMMMM hmmmm

And don't get me started on his joining in list threads

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2019, 02:28:55 PM »
To be honest I think I'm unreasonably annoyed - I'm surprised that anyone has responded with something other than "you sound like a bellend yourself".

BlodwynPig

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2019, 02:55:31 PM »
People. Can't live with them. Can't live with them.


Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2019, 03:17:42 PM »
Maybe you should knock on his door and politely inquire if he's OK, as you heard some noises from him recently and it sounded like he was in pain or had hurt himself? Stress that the noises were really loud, unusual and disturbing so you're really quite worried, as none of the other housemates ever make noises like that, so something's clearly wrong. Shame him with faux concern.

Edit: On a serious note, as has already been suggested, does he perhaps have a condition that means he has vocal tics, or perhaps isn't too aware of how he comes across to other people? I lived next to a guy in my uni halls who was most likely on the autistic spectrum, and would constantly be singing or making little noises and exclamations to himself, alone in his room or in the kitchen. It was a bit annoying at first but I got used to it.

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2019, 03:21:56 PM »
Maybe you should knock on his door and politely inquire if he's OK, as you heard some noises from him recently and it sounded like he was in pain or had hurt himself? Stress that the noises were really loud, unusual and disturbing so you're really quite worried, as none of the other housemates ever make noises like that, so something's clearly wrong. Shame him with faux concern.

Edit: On a serious note, as has already been suggested, does he perhaps have a condition that means he has vocal tics, or perhaps isn't too aware of how he comes across to other people? I lived next to a guy in my uni halls who was most likely on the autistic spectrum, and would constantly be singing or making little noises and exclamations to himself, alone in his room or in the kitchen. It was a bit annoying at first but I got used to it.

This is not nearly passive-aggressive enough.

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2019, 03:31:48 PM »
Maybe you should knock on his door and politely inquire if he's OK, as you heard some noises from him recently and it sounded like he was in pain or had hurt himself? Stress that the noises were really loud, unusual and disturbing so you're really quite worried, as none of the other housemates ever make noises like that, so something's clearly wrong. Shame him with faux concern.

Edit: On a serious note, as has already been suggested, does he perhaps have a condition that means he has vocal tics, or perhaps isn't too aware of how he comes across to other people? I lived next to a guy in my uni halls who was most likely on the autistic spectrum, and would constantly be singing or making little noises and exclamations to himself, alone in his room or in the kitchen. It was a bit annoying at first but I got used to it.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have Tourette's or anything, but autism is a possibility to be fair.

Regardless - I'm over-sensitive to sounds so ON A SERIOUS NOTE I reckon I'm the weirdo. I'm mostly just bemused by his too-perfect "AARGH!".

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2019, 04:27:47 PM »
This is not nearly passive-aggressive enough.

Wasn't intended to be a passive-aggressive post, sorry if it came across that way (the first suggestion was a joke and deliberately cunty) - I was just thinking about the guy I lived with as I wrote it, and thought I'd add that in as it sounds like it could be a potentially similar situation. Or of course the flatmate here could just be an inconsiderate noisy twat.

I can also be over-sensitive to sounds and sometimes get irrationally bothered by stuff (I've posted elsewhere about the absolute burning ire invoked by hearing a colleague taking deep slurps of tea or noisily sucking their fingers after eating), so I can understand wanting to say something but not wanting to sound like an unreasonable weirdo.

Easiest solution is probably just kill him


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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #17 on: March 09, 2019, 04:45:35 PM »
I can't wait until summer when I'll be moving out of this shared house. I am beset on all sides by noise. My best friend in the neighbouring bedroom argues so much with his girlfriend. The chap in the downstairs bedroom is a music producer so I often get very loud 3-second snippets of a song played over and over. But worst of all is the guy down the hall who is a fucking garage DJ - the worst type of music in the world after reggae - and he fucking whistles out of tune all the time and sings made up songs about sucking tits and does this random "BLELELUR" noise. It drives me utterly mental. I just want peace.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2019, 05:47:53 PM »
Noonling's housemate, if you keep bugging him with noises, I'll kick your head.....What?  "Come on, then?"  Oops!  Sucks having your bluff called, doesn't it...?

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2019, 06:19:16 PM »
Have you tried bundling him into a sack and throwing it down a crevice?

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2019, 06:21:51 PM »
Why not simply ask "Why do you keep making that noise?"

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2019, 07:19:11 PM »
the worst type of music in the world after reggae

This might be the most bollocks thing I have ever read on here.

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2019, 07:32:33 PM »
This might be the most bollocks thing I have ever read on here.

Oh come on, there's so much to choose from! I'd probably put "Once a Conservative, always a Conservative" in 2nd place and "It's better to be murdered than to be raped" as number one. Most reggae is pretty shit, it has to be said.

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2019, 07:52:43 PM »
Flatmate has taken to shouting "fucking bitches!" several times a day. Never used to happen. High-pitched screams at night. I make lots of noise when I'm alone, always hooting and gibbering, but I'd never do it in a shared house. Former flatmate had a completely silent girlfriend with an anti-chin, her neck went further out than her lower lip, there was a pronounced indent, and he'd always bellow "ow!" when she was around.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2019, 07:57:05 PM »
Fucking Tourettes cunt

Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2019, 08:07:58 PM »
stick a passive-aggressive note on the fridge

icehaven

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2019, 08:35:01 PM »
I've had a noisy neighbour-phobia my whole life, it's been the main reason I've moved out of at least 2 places, why I'd never even consider a flat that wasn't on the top floor, and why I have a permanent knot of dread and anxiety in my stomach for about a month before and after moving somewhere new in case there's a noisy neighbour, and then even when I've been there a while and am relatively content that there isn't I just start worrying in case the quiet neighbours move and someone noisier moves in. Ironically I was alright in a houseshare as I can accept sound travels in the same house, plus remonstration with housemates is relatively easy compared to having to knock on a stranger's front door, and if they ignore you there's nothing you can do.

So imagine my amazement 2 weeks ago then, having just moved into a new flat about 5 days earlier, after a quiet evening watching TV, standing up to go to bed and having the neighbours below banging on their ceiling/our floor as if we were making a racket. We thought 'nah, must have been something else' but no, the next day the bloke came up and (politely enough) asked us if we could keep it down as it's an old building and, apropros of nothing to do with us, said something about the previous tenant being noisy. I (also politely) explained that we aren't noisy people, quite the opposite, and that we can't help walking on the floor. It was all quite civil but I was left thinking of all the issues or whatever you get when moving somewhere new, the absolute last one I'd ever have thought I'd have had was me being accused of being noisy. There's been no further incidents and we've carried on being our normal quiet selves but walking on the floor because, y'know, it's hard not to, but at least it bodes well for them staying quiet, if they object to normal noise like that. So now of course I'm worried they'll move and someone noisy will move in. Ffs.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2019, 08:37:26 PM »
ARGHHHH!!!

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2019, 08:46:22 PM »
Put bits of cactus on his flannel.

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Re: Make my housemate stop making noises
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2019, 08:47:15 PM »
I've had a noisy neighbour-phobia my whole life, it's been the main reason I've moved out of at least 2 places, why I'd never even consider a flat that wasn't on the top floor, and why I have a permanent knot of dread and anxiety in my stomach for about a month before and after moving somewhere new in case there's a noisy neighbour, and then even when I've been there a while and am relatively content that there isn't I just start worrying in case the quiet neighbours move and someone noisier moves in. Ironically I was alright in a houseshare as I can accept sound travels in the same house, plus remonstration with housemates is relatively easy compared to having to knock on a stranger's front door, and if they ignore you there's nothing you can do.

So imagine my amazement 2 weeks ago then, having just moved into a new flat about 5 days earlier, after a quiet evening watching TV, standing up to go to bed and having the neighbours below banging on their ceiling/our floor as if we were making a racket. We thought 'nah, must have been something else' but no, the next day the bloke came up and (politely enough) asked us if we could keep it down as it's an old building and, apropros of nothing to do with us, said something about the previous tenant being noisy. I (also politely) explained that we aren't noisy people, quite the opposite, and that we can't help walking on the floor. It was all quite civil but I was left thinking of all the issues or whatever you get when moving somewhere new, the absolute last one I'd ever have thought I'd have had was me being accused of being noisy. There's been no further incidents and we've carried on being our normal quiet selves but walking on the floor because, y'know, it's hard not to, but at least it bodes well for them staying quiet, if they object to normal noise like that. So now of course I'm worried they'll move and someone noisy will move in. Ffs.

I had a feud for years with my downstairs neighbour complaining about me walking around in my flat. It got ugly. Police were called (not by me). I got screamed at. Could never explain to her that I had the same issue with my upstairs neighbours, but I understood it was the building.

Moved out in the end. Couldn't live like that forever.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2019, 09:07:31 PM by imitationleather »