Author Topic: Sociopath Simon  (Read 322 times)

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Sociopath Simon
« on: March 10, 2019, 05:03:46 PM »
Simon's sister Nicola is at the door, and practically collapses into his arms. Her tears have smeared her mascara and she's all dishevelled - she looks like a disgraced panda.

"Oh bro", she moans, "He's left me - this bastard. But I'll be strong."

Simon grips her by the shoulders and looks her in the eye. "Tell me what he did. Tell me how it made you feel."

So they sit in the living room and she talks, talks talks - Simon's such a good listener.  He soaks it all in, does Simon. And poor Nicola, she's not felt close to him since she was a kid, but here he is, soaking it all up.

"... And it just made me feel so hopeless and afraid."

Simon ruminates as is his wont. A silence permeates the air. Nicola shifts in her seat uneasily, but watches with bated breath, love and trepidation as her successful big brother nods, giving permission. She pours out her fucking soul, all the horrors, all the mistreatment, all the gaslighting.

"Duly noted. Very effective of him... Cheer up Nicola," he says, beaming. "Sometimes you face adversity. Sometimes you get" - he nods at Nicola, who feels personally vindicated "... Mistreated, all roped into someone else's fucking warped interior world. And the thing is Nicola.." Simon stands up and walks to his little sister, and takes her hand, and looks into her dark eyes, strands of black escaping them, drying on her porcelain face...

"The thing is, Nicola. Sometimes you get exposed to such adversity. It's all about how you get through it, babe. But let me tell you this - I'm standing here with a real respect. I'm practically shuddering, I'm so impressed. Girl, you need never fear because there's a very special person in this very room who can withstand even the darkest tale of adversity.

Frankly, I don't know how I do it."

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2019, 05:09:56 PM »
Simon takes a big hamper of tins and cans and fresh veg to the food bank, takes a selfie of himself in front of the sign, finds the head volunteer and says "Enjoy, enjoy! Cost me £45.99 all this, but it's worth it. Can you take a picture of me with the hamper for my LinkedIn?"

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2019, 05:18:10 PM »
Simon considers himself a great lover of music. After all, that's just what people do! He's selected The Beatles as his favourite act. Plenty of books on the Beatles out there, and people really respond to him liking The Beatles. He even considers himself rather an authority on The Beatles and he's put in the legwork so nobody can disagree. Yes, The Beatles - Simon's favourite, and only, act. Can't go wrong with the Beatles.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2019, 05:22:48 PM »
Simon drives an Audi.

Has done for years. Just not the same exact Audi!

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2019, 05:24:36 PM »
Simon considers himself a great lover of music. After all, that's just what people do! He's selected The Beatles as his favourite act. Plenty of books on the Beatles out there, and people really respond to him liking The Beatles. He even considers himself rather an authority on The Beatles and he's put in the legwork so nobody can disagree. Yes, The Beatles - Simon's favourite, and only, act. Can't go wrong with the Beatles.

I've gone off the guy

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2019, 05:26:37 PM »
I've gone off the guy

He's calculated for this very possibility and wonders if you're into Bob Dylan? He's also quite famous

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2019, 05:28:58 PM »
Simon advises a homeless person that if they had any real concern about their financial situation, they'd get rid of the dog. He's looked into canines himself and the upkeep can be quite expensive!

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2019, 05:35:49 PM »
Simon applies a psychological label to an almost infinite raft of behaviours to shore up his own view of the world. But he makes reference to it, making it OK.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2019, 06:51:37 PM »
Simon considers himself a great lover of music. After all, that's just what people do! He's selected The Beatles as his favourite act. Plenty of books on the Beatles out there, and people really respond to him liking The Beatles. He even considers himself rather an authority on The Beatles and he's put in the legwork so nobody can disagree. Yes, The Beatles - Simon's favourite, and only, act. Can't go wrong with the Beatles.

his favourite album is that Pete Best one. He likes to put the cat among the pigeons. He has a great argument about some sitcom bit being funnier once you find out what it's called, whether that was intended or not

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2019, 06:54:19 PM »
his favourite album is that Pete Best one. He likes to put the cat among the pigeons. He has a great argument about some sitcom bit being funnier once you find out what it's called, whether that was intended or not

That sitcom is his favourite by far, as it's very well-known, he knows it better than anyone, and he can quote it at will.

Never seems to fuckin laugh at it mind

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2019, 07:00:50 PM »
Simon sees an ex on Facebook in his Suggested Friends and gets a chat going. Oh, the conversation flows! But it usually does when Simon speaks to something he desires.

She looks great - healthy, happy, hasn't aged a day.

"So what are you up to now?" Simon asks, pointedly.

Turned out well for her - she's got a top job, children, her own place with her husband.

"You're married? Wow! That's a shame," Simon says. Then, quickly: "I hate that I missed one of the most important days of your life. So how are you finding married life, over the honeymoon period yet?"

She doesn't answer right away, so he casually drops in his annual salary. This'll stoke that fire

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2019, 07:19:55 PM »
Simon drops an E on a night out with the other executives and wonders why exactly anybody wants to feel so hot and anxious

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2019, 07:21:24 PM »
Simon watches the Final Cut of Blade Runner, weighs up the established themes of Dehumanised Human vs Replicant Learning to be Human, notes the deftness of the script and roots for Ridley Scott

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2019, 07:24:40 PM »
Simon is a businessman

Any businessman.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2019, 07:26:40 PM »
Simon doesn't laugh at this thread.

Or pretends to, but that's just shallowness of effect.

Aaaaah

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2019, 08:18:11 PM »
Simon feigns interest in helping vulnerable people to get a volunteering gig with a charity. Blags it. turns down two four hour shifts in favour of four twos. double the expenses allowance. got a receipt printer at home and the proper Morrison's font. All going on the fruities. One specific arcade. The regulars have been conditioned to fill it for him. Clockwork.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2019, 07:41:47 PM »
Sociopath Simon punches a shrew into a river.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2019, 11:31:09 PM »
Sociopath Simon Sociopath Simon SIEG HEIL SIEG HEIL. the culmination of quietly conditioning eighty people at work into a morale boosting parade is a personal success, he notes in his resignation, ignoring the truth that he's leaving out of boredom after that

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #18 on: March 12, 2019, 09:35:28 AM »
Simon passes a beggar asking for change, and onto his blanket he drops, with a flourish, the one thing this fellow really, really needs to get ahead - Simon's business card.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 09:58:29 AM by ToneLa »

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #19 on: March 12, 2019, 09:54:04 AM »
In a quiet moment, late at night, Simon considers his own deepest fear.

A luxury getaway to the Caribbean - but he forgets his DSLR. The whole trip a waste! Nobody would even know he went! Shudder

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2019, 10:01:36 AM »
Simon reviews his notes from previous Comic Relief nights. He wants to make sure he laughs in the right places this time.

Re: Sociopath Simon
« Reply #21 on: March 19, 2019, 07:40:52 AM »
Simon organised a photo shoot for international women's day. Posted the "balance for better" pictures on LinkedIn.

Brought in home made muffins.

Put a blog post on company website about how he was doing everything he could for a more diverse organisation.

Then organised a Friday night drinks event with the D&I team so he could get Naomi as drunk as possible to make his move.