Author Topic: When should you knuckle/settle down?  (Read 1560 times)

When should you knuckle/settle down?
« on: March 11, 2019, 04:24:14 PM »
I am currently on a hobby farm in Hungary, working for food. Soon i'l be in Morocco volunteering at a language academy and after that i'll be in Nepal doing social work.

This is my first real taste of 'travelling/backpacking/volunteering abroad' - I am a late bloomer in everything - and I love it. I can see myself doing this for a long time.

The trouble is, i met someone during my last trip to the US and we are going long distanxe nd I think I would love to be with her. However, that would mean settling down in one place, for the long haul 9 to 5 grind. And my life of adventure and new experiences is over before it gets going.


Anyway, my question is:

When do you feel an adult should stop fannying about with this stuff and settle down to a routine life? 30?

Can you keep working part time or temp into your 40s and seeing other parts of the world or is there a lkmited window of opportunity?

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2019, 04:25:27 PM »
Keep on going until it's screamingly obvious you have to stop I recon

Buelligan

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2019, 04:29:15 PM »
Because the reality is there is a limited window of opportunity but no one knows where or when it opens or for how long or even if it's just notional.  And then you have to consider opportunity for what?  IME, you never actually arrive until you're leaving or have left.  So you should probably factor that into your decision.

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2019, 04:29:48 PM »
You sound happier than you have for ages, keep going, keep doing what’s making you happy.

Long distance relationships are usually shit and for people who don’t actually want to commit. Keep contact but I’d say just keep doing what you’re doing. And your post makes it clear that you know that’s what you want to do.

Buelligan

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2019, 04:33:07 PM »
Yes, I agree wholeheartedly.  Look after that happiness bgmnts, I'm thinking that's what the window's for, don't let it fly out, gloat over it, feed it fine food, recongise its presence and it will be your good friend in times of fat and thin.

Beagle 2

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2019, 04:46:11 PM »
If you want kids, a career and a house then you should put some sort of tedious plan in place and if you're still farting about past thirty it becomes really difficult. If you don't want kids I don't really see the point in the career or the house, mind you. Unless of course you do something you enjoy and want to make a success of it. One of those pricks.

Do what makes you happy but try and work out if it will still make you happy in five or ten years I guess. I know people who were all take each day as it comes keep looking for adventure until they were 35 and now they're all shit shit I'm totally fucked and I live in another country by mistake and it turns out I do want what I thought I didn't want ah tits.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2019, 04:49:05 PM »
Yeah, and then you get the ones who do the careerhousekidsplan and then go middle aged, want a sports car and a new pneumatic partner and go ah tits...  Hardest job in the world, choosing.

Soup Dogg

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2019, 04:51:44 PM »
Follow your bliss maaaaaan. Definitely don't even think about settling down for the sake of a long distance relationship with a woman (I'm guessing) you haven't actually spent all that much time living in the same city, let alone house, as. Do you. You're a beautiful butterfly, drink up the sweet nectar. Sluuuuuuuuurp.

Beagle 2

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2019, 04:58:33 PM »
Yeah, and then you get the ones who do the careerhousekidsplan and then go middle aged, want a sports car and a new pneumatic partner and go ah tits...  Hardest job in the world, choosing.

Hey that's at least 18 months away for me.

Ray Travez

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2019, 05:53:01 PM »
Anyway, my question is:

When do you feel an adult should stop fannying about with this stuff and settle down to a routine life? 30?

I mean, to paraphrase the question, it almost sounds like the question you're asking is "at what age should you stop enjoying yourself and knuckle down to the serious business of being bored and miserable?"

I don't really see why you have to stop unless you want to...

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2019, 06:39:15 PM »
Keep doing what you're doing, champ. This is the first post of yours in probably years that hasn't made me want to strangle you. Really pleased to hear all of this, it sounds brilliant and the first time I've heard you sound like you're enjoying anything in ages. Don't kill your own buzz shitting yourself about mortgages and stuff. You might not live that long. Society might collapse. Do it when it feels like the right time, not when you've just started living a much better life.

You're doing such great stuff. Fuck off this Yank bint pronto and go your own way for a bit and see what comes. Long distance relationships are for people already in a very strong relationship, not a fictitious comfort blanket that you've 'got someone'. Trust me, I been there a few times and it's 99% delusion, 1% wank bank content.

For the first time ever, I have respect for you. The world is now literally your oyster so slurp it down. Is there anything holding you back any more? No.

All the best. X

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2019, 07:19:19 PM »
Knuckle/settle down is loser speak for conform.

Unless you have hungry mouths to feed aside yours, then you are a free man - just do what you enjoy doing then move onto the next thing when that enjoyment stops. Even the difficult volunteer work abroad has got to be better than flipping burgers or nightshifts in warehouses for minimum, Dominoes Deliveroo, Netflix and chill

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2019, 08:35:42 PM »
Fuck off this Yank bint pronto

imagine the horror of introducing your american future wife to your friends just for her to immediately drop her "pannies" and "shid" all over the floor (as americans are wont to do.)


Danger Man

  • Always be crosing
Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2019, 08:49:13 PM »
Knuckle/settle down is loser speak for conform.

Conform=having kids?

The pros and cons of being childless:

Pro: You can act like a student for your entire life.

Con: You can act like a student for your entire life.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2019, 08:53:31 PM »
To be honest, I'll admit that 18 months ago, my life plan was "arse about and avoid any kind of responsibility for as long as possible".

Then I met a woman from another country, who agreed to move here to be with me. So suddenly I'm responsible for someone else, thus I applied for a job with more pay, at the expense at doing actual work for the first time in about ten years. Lucky for me, she share my intentions in not having kids, so hopefully I still have plenty of scope for Playstation and heavy drinking.

I'm 38, if that helps. And if she makes a success of her life in the UK, I fully intend to sponge the fuck off her. Just joking, sweetie.

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2019, 09:02:31 PM »
I think I settled down quite naturally and without considering it too much. I was never really 'out there' to begin with though.

I've just finished watching Free Solo, following Alex Honnold's climb up El Capitan. Imagine if half way up he'd remembered he hadn't paid the water bill. That would be me. Nah mate - he's just shooting the breeze man, living in the moment. Of course that's how we should live life.

However, I'm at my happiest, in the garden, drinking lager and listening to the birds sing. I like cooking dinner for my partner when she's still at work and reading a book while she's watching a load of fucking shit on the television.

I like staying in a 5* hotel too. Before we go anywhere I'm looking at the best hotels - really ache for some luxury. Someone I work with slept for 3 weeks in a puddle in Cambodia. We all like different things. I liked settling down and I'm looking forward to retirement and a nice cup of tea.

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2019, 09:11:58 PM »
Don't you dare come back on here whinging and whining again.
Have'nt you the decency to live a really fucked up life like me ?
Just(?) joking glad you are enjoying life,don't sweat on conforming just enjoy enjoying life and don't let the little negative voices make you think you are doing life wrong.

Ronalado

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2019, 09:13:49 PM »
hobby farm of RONALADO is always need fans to come on holiday to pull some piece of coton and put it in the bag quickly.

Even is chance to meet RONALADO probeply.

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2019, 09:27:19 PM »
C&B occasionally has a moment like this. You know..

like when Sherman in American pie supposedly gets laid, he tells the lads " It was just my time, fellas, it was just my time".

And I very much feel like this is your time Bgmnts, so don't go fucking it up.

I remember when ThickandCreamy was a quiet repressed little virgin and he went and rode along the Great China Wall. And now look at him. He's a fully paid up member of the Labour Party.

And when Eight Taiwanese Teenagers dissapeared from the boards for a few months and we all assumed the worst until he came back and it turned out HE GOT MARRIED.

And when Biggytitbo got the train from Hull to Leeds and Rob Reiner turned it into a Hollywood blockbuster narrated by Richard Dreyfuss.

It's just your time Bgmnts.

Beagle 2

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2019, 09:29:29 PM »
I mean, settling down with a partner, kids and a mortgage makes you objectively unhappy - no point pretending otherwise. I spend all day being unhappy, feeling terrible. There isn't actually any happiness there. I feel unhappy in a way I've never felt before - that is to say it's a new kind of unhappiness that's just always there like a sort of chronic ache, the absence of any kind of nice thing during the day that makes me smile or laugh anything but a hollow demonstrative laugh. Shallow things that don't matter but used to make me happy - they're all gone now. But I used to get unhappy from time to time and wallow in it and wonder what will become of me. That's gone, I haven't got time for that shit and I know how I'll shake the piddle of the second half of my life out, more or less, it depends which inevitable tragedies punctuate the tedium. Which is a relief. The hysterical highs and lows and whinges of my single childless friends seem like the sweet but infuriating outbursts of a toddler now. They ask me for advice because they feel a bit lost. My advice is to leave me alone because I need to eat some Ibuprofen and hide in a toilet. But it is better, I knew it would be like this and I still went for it. Conforming, yeah that's probably the right word - it feels like conforming to what I'm supposed to do and it's a gigantic relief. Just having all those possibilities closed off to me and sliming my way down a prescribed shit sluce as opposed to skidding about trying to have a go down all the other shit sluces and getting all different kinds of shit all over me and some baby wipes stuck to my arse that were destined for a fatberg. We're all going to end up in the fatberg but I know more or less the route I'm going to take and when I plunge into it I'll be able to look back at the rest of my family plunging towards the same hole in the fatberg, and we've paid for a little gold plaque.   

Nah it's alright really.


Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #20 on: March 11, 2019, 10:12:42 PM »
The ultimate resonant post for me right now. Proper BEAST MODE post. Respect.

Dex Sawash

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2019, 11:13:35 PM »
The happiest part is that you

BlodwynPig

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2019, 12:01:42 AM »
Follow your dreams. They are limitless.

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2019, 10:43:11 AM »
Keep doing what you're doing. Just don't post anymore fucking nonsense like wanting to suckle an animal, you daft cunt.

icehaven

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2019, 11:47:19 AM »


The trouble is, i met someone during my last trip to the US and we are going long distanxe nd I think I would love to be with her. However, that would mean settling down in one place, for the long haul 9 to 5 grind.


Why would it mean this? Could she not come with you on your travels? Even if that's not an option, staying in one place long enough to give it a proper go (which isn't the same as settling down btw) needn't necessarily mean the 'long haul 9 to 5 grind', by any stretch.

 I've lived in the same city for 16 years and during that time had 7 homes, 4 jobs, two long relationships, many very short ones and even at nearly 40 am under no illusions that ''this is it now'' because things change whether you want them to or not. Loads of similarly aged friends who apparently 'settled down' in their 20s are now separated, divorced, remarried/re-attached, have step-kids, have moved jobs/area/country more times than they ever anticipated etc.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #25 on: March 12, 2019, 11:51:19 AM »
World’s going to end soon anyway, so you might as well enjoy yourself.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #26 on: March 12, 2019, 12:54:48 PM »
I'm planning to settle down right after I pull myself together, then straighten up and fly right

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2019, 01:05:05 PM »
After Brexit

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2019, 02:16:59 PM »
Keep doing what you're doing, champ. This is the first post of yours in probably years that hasn't made me want to strangle you. Really pleased to hear all of this, it sounds brilliant and the first time I've heard you sound like you're enjoying anything in ages. Don't kill your own buzz shitting yourself about mortgages and stuff. You might not live that long. Society might collapse. Do it when it feels like the right time, not when you've just started living a much better life.

You're doing such great stuff. Fuck off this Yank bint pronto and go your own way for a bit and see what comes. Long distance relationships are for people already in a very strong relationship, not a fictitious comfort blanket that you've 'got someone'. Trust me, I been there a few times and it's 99% delusion, 1% wank bank content.

For the first time ever, I have respect for you. The world is now literally your oyster so slurp it down. Is there anything holding you back any more? No.

All the best. X

rrr

Re: When should you knuckle/settle down?
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2019, 05:29:03 PM »
Think I'd skip Nepal myself, it is very high up and you could tumble down or need to be rescued by a fireman with a ladder and a big moustache. Lot of normal places to go though, I would stick to those.