Author Topic: tortoise died  (Read 2377 times)

tortoise died
« on: March 11, 2019, 09:10:21 PM »
and i'm fucking cut up about it.



love you. bye mate.

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2019, 09:10:58 PM »
Your tortoise?  Or just a tortoise.

DolphinFace

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2019, 09:11:19 PM »
suicide sorry.

Captain Z

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2019, 09:12:55 PM »
No age.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2019, 09:13:22 PM »
263 years old?

No age.  No age at all.
(bah, just beaten to the punch)



Seriously though - condolences.  The Noses have had pets for a long time and are very attached to them, and it's always sad when one of them goes.

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2019, 09:14:04 PM »
my tortoise obviously.


Re: tortoise died
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2019, 09:14:33 PM »
Sorry for your loss mates.

How old was he?

St_Eddie

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2019, 09:14:35 PM »
I'm very sorry to hear that, madhair60.  My thoughts go out to you.

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2019, 09:16:38 PM »
He was a cunt. He never exhibited anything that could so much as be mistaken for tolerance of me, let alone affection. An absolute wall-eyed bell from arsehole to breakfast, throughout his entire lengthy life, from the day I was queefed out of my mum's disgusting fanny until the year of our lord 2019. Mum got him when she was 3 and he was already fully grown. God knows how old he was. He was a cunt. He was my cunt. I will miss him cunting around the garden, being a cunt.

biggytitbo

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2019, 09:16:42 PM »
That is sad, tortoises are good aren't they. How old was he? Was he on the bounty?

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2019, 09:17:03 PM »
my tortoise obviously.

It wasn't obvious.

If I was around somebody else's house and they showed me their dead tortoise I would be sad.

R.I.P. your tortoise.

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2019, 09:18:45 PM »
tortoises are generally nice fellows

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2019, 09:18:58 PM »
Gonna see if I can get compassionate leave out of this.

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2019, 09:19:15 PM »
So it was bollocks then that 'millions now living will never die'.

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2019, 09:21:55 PM »

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2019, 09:22:52 PM »
Look at that joie de vivre. Mine was never like that. He was like oh yeah? got the thing i love most in the world for me? for free? brought directly to me? yeah whatever see ya

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2019, 09:24:09 PM »
Sorry about your shit loss

Shit Good Nose

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2019, 09:24:47 PM »
Look at that joie de vivre. Mine was never like that. He was like oh yeah? got the thing i love most in the world for me? for free? brought directly to me? yeah whatever see ya

(walks off, verrrrrrryyyyyyyy slowly...)



Are you absolutely 100% sure he's not just gone back to hibernating with this latest round of colder weather?

I mean, I'm sure you know, but thought it worth mentioning just in case...

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2019, 09:26:16 PM »
He's gone mate

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2019, 09:28:23 PM »
He's gone mate

You can always watch One Foot in the Grave if you want to reminisce.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #20 on: March 11, 2019, 09:30:14 PM »
I just hope he went quickly.

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2019, 09:30:29 PM »
do they turn upside down when they die

Twed

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #22 on: March 11, 2019, 09:31:13 PM »
Throw it up in the air at a question mark block

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2019, 09:31:29 PM »
Throw it up in the air at a question mark block

Ah yeah, like Super Mario

Twed

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2019, 09:32:02 PM »
NO! Like Turtle Jones

Re: tortoise died
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2019, 09:33:26 PM »
the plural of tortoises is actually tortoie. Not reading replies to this!

Beagle 2

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2019, 09:34:24 PM »
This has reminded me that my mum told me when I was a kid that everybody used to have tortoises but then they made it illegal to have one, and I've just thought of that, and clearly everybody didn't used to have one and it's not illegal to get one. I didn't even want a tortoise. Why, mum.

RIP.

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2019, 09:34:30 PM »
If you want to watch a film to take your mind off it, my advice is to steer away from Cannibal Holocaust

Shit Good Nose

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2019, 09:36:03 PM »
If you want to watch a film to take your mind off it, my advice is to steer away from Cannibal Holocaust

That's fine - it's a turtle.



Get one of those giant Galapagos tortoises to replace him.  You can also use them as an uncomfortable chair and a very slow method of travel.

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Re: tortoise died
« Reply #29 on: March 11, 2019, 09:37:26 PM »
Q) What is the worst alive tortoise

A) The one sealed within the plastic keyring, dying  :(