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March 29, 2024, 09:31:14 AM

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tortoise died

Started by madhair60, March 11, 2019, 09:10:21 PM

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madhair60

and i'm fucking cut up about it.



love you. bye mate.

Replies From View

Your tortoise?  Or just a tortoise.



Shit Good Nose

263 years old?

No age.  No age at all.
(bah, just beaten to the punch)



Seriously though - condolences.  The Noses have had pets for a long time and are very attached to them, and it's always sad when one of them goes.

madhair60


Sorry for your loss mates.

How old was he?

St_Eddie

I'm very sorry to hear that, madhair60.  My thoughts go out to you.

madhair60

He was a cunt. He never exhibited anything that could so much as be mistaken for tolerance of me, let alone affection. An absolute wall-eyed bell from arsehole to breakfast, throughout his entire lengthy life, from the day I was queefed out of my mum's disgusting fanny until the year of our lord 2019. Mum got him when she was 3 and he was already fully grown. God knows how old he was. He was a cunt. He was my cunt. I will miss him cunting around the garden, being a cunt.

biggytitbo

That is sad, tortoises are good aren't they. How old was he? Was he on the bounty?

Replies From View

Quote from: madhair60 on March 11, 2019, 09:14:04 PM
my tortoise obviously.

It wasn't obvious.

If I was around somebody else's house and they showed me their dead tortoise I would be sad.

R.I.P. your tortoise.

tortoises are generally nice fellows

madhair60

Gonna see if I can get compassionate leave out of this.

thraxx

So it was bollocks then that 'millions now living will never die'.


madhair60

Look at that joie de vivre. Mine was never like that. He was like oh yeah? got the thing i love most in the world for me? for free? brought directly to me? yeah whatever see ya

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Sorry about your shit loss

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: madhair60 on March 11, 2019, 09:22:52 PM
Look at that joie de vivre. Mine was never like that. He was like oh yeah? got the thing i love most in the world for me? for free? brought directly to me? yeah whatever see ya

(walks off, verrrrrrryyyyyyyy slowly...)



Are you absolutely 100% sure he's not just gone back to hibernating with this latest round of colder weather?

I mean, I'm sure you know, but thought it worth mentioning just in case...

madhair60


Replies From View

Quote from: madhair60 on March 11, 2019, 09:26:16 PM
He's gone mate

You can always watch One Foot in the Grave if you want to reminisce.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

I just hope he went quickly.

idunnosomename

do they turn upside down when they die

Twed

Throw it up in the air at a question mark block

madhair60

Quote from: Twed on March 11, 2019, 09:31:13 PM
Throw it up in the air at a question mark block

Ah yeah, like Super Mario

Twed


the plural of tortoises is actually tortoie. Not reading replies to this!

Beagle 2

This has reminded me that my mum told me when I was a kid that everybody used to have tortoises but then they made it illegal to have one, and I've just thought of that, and clearly everybody didn't used to have one and it's not illegal to get one. I didn't even want a tortoise. Why, mum.

RIP.

thenoise

If you want to watch a film to take your mind off it, my advice is to steer away from Cannibal Holocaust

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: thenoise on March 11, 2019, 09:34:30 PM
If you want to watch a film to take your mind off it, my advice is to steer away from Cannibal Holocaust

That's fine - it's a turtle.



Get one of those giant Galapagos tortoises to replace him.  You can also use them as an uncomfortable chair and a very slow method of travel.

Replies From View

Q) What is the worst alive tortoise

A) The one sealed within the plastic keyring, dying  :(