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March 29, 2024, 11:05:23 AM

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tortoise died

Started by madhair60, March 11, 2019, 09:10:21 PM

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Kelvin

Can you make a funny Mario Kart parody with his remains?

idunnosomename

Quote from: thenoise on March 11, 2019, 09:34:30 PM
If you want to watch a film to take your mind off it, my advice is to steer away from Cannibal Holocaust
good advice regarding any bereavement

ZoyzaSorris

Some of the few genuine good guys. My condolences.

Bleeding Kansas

Had the pleasure of meeting Madhair's tortoise at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

PlanktonSideburns

I am DELIGHTED your tortoise is dead


St_Eddie

Quote from: Replies From View on March 11, 2019, 09:28:23 PM
You can always watch One Foot in the Grave if you want to reminisce.

Or The League of Gentlemen.

alan nagsworth

Even if your tortoise was a complete bellend there's no chance he could have been any more of a bellend than Tiptup from Diddy Kong Racing. He at least has that going for him.

Oh hang on, Tiptup was a turtle. Now I'm afraid there's no way I couldn't guarantee your tortoise wasn't the biggest bellend of them all. I'm very sorry.

Buelligan

I am sad to hear that your old hairless friend has gone to live on a nice farm, maddo.  Why must He always take the good ones first?

hedgehog90

His wrinkly, crinkly body had seen better days, but given half a chance he'd still misbehave.

Anyway he's dead now.

Condolences to madhair60 and RIP tortoise.

pupshaw

My tortoise didn't die. He just escaped from his shell

Mr_Simnock

Quote from: Buelligan on March 11, 2019, 10:31:09 PM
I am sad to hear that your hairless friend has gone to live on a nice farm, maddo.  Why must He always take the good ones first?

I think you have mistook Madhair for Michael Jackson

Dex Sawash


im barry bethel

So sad but at least you now know that tortoises can't swim after all

Buelligan

Quote from: Mr_Simnock on March 11, 2019, 10:54:16 PM
I think you have mistook Madhair for Michael Jackson

Cher's not dead though.

Twed

Quote from: Buelligan on March 11, 2019, 10:31:09 PM
I am sad to hear that your old hairless friend has gone to live on a nice farm, maddo[/b
I thought biggy lived in Wolverhampton or something

Glebe

Sorry about that, MadH. Love and that.

Uncle TechTip

Did it take several minutes to actually confirm it? My sympathy.

Fry

When I was a kid my neighbour had a tortoise. It used to try to shag her plant pots, then slip off and fall on to his back. I was forever jumping the fence to save the horny little fucker. Then his owner got dementia and started putting poo in sweet wrappers. She used to give me loads of old Beano annuals, I think they used to belong to her son or grandson or something,

Anyway dont start being weird with poo madhair.

Cerys

TESTUDO!

RIP.  I'm sorry for your loss.

Ferris

Turtle is North American for tortoise. The word "tortoise" doesn't fly here. All those people suggesting things then saying "oh no actually that was a turtle" - it wasn't mate, it was a tortoise but just referred to as a turtle.

Happy to clear that up.

Paul Calf

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on March 12, 2019, 02:34:47 AM
Turtle is North American for tortoise. The word "tortoise" doesn't fly here. All those people suggesting things then saying "oh no actually that was a turtle" - it wasn't mate, it was a tortoise but just referred to as a turtle.

Happy to clear that up.

Racist.

canadagoose

Sorry to hear about your little tortoise, madhair. He seems to have had a nice, long life.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

The Russians have the same word (sounds like "cherrypacker") for the tortoise *and* the turtle, not distinguishing between the two creatures at all.
The Russians really are a bunch of stupid cunts. Fit birds, mind you.

Ferris


Blinder Data

Quote from: Beagle 2 on March 11, 2019, 09:34:24 PM
This has reminded me that my mum told me when I was a kid that everybody used to have tortoises but then they made it illegal to have one, and I've just thought of that, and clearly everybody didn't used to have one and it's not illegal to get one. I didn't even want a tortoise. Why, mum.

RIP.

TBF your mum was kind of right - they've toughened the laws on buying/selling them which has seen their numbers decrease.

https://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/the-legal-implications-of-tortoise-ownership.html

People often just give them away for free instead.

I've always fancied a tortoise. Fucks off for half the year. Leave it in my will. Would prefer one that doesn't try to bite me at every opportunity though.

Sorry for your loss, madhair

Blue Jam

What was your cunt tortoise's name, madhair? Sorry for your loss, tortoises are ace.

Spoon of Ploff

and now
  abideth faith,
hope, love... these three

but
the greatest of these
is Tortoise.

thraxx

The real tragedy in this thread is that no one, NO-ONE, by which I mean not one of you, has even acknowledged my excellent Millions Now Living Will Never Die reference.  Jesus wept.

Spoon of Ploff

Quote from: thraxx on March 12, 2019, 11:08:31 AM
The real tragedy in this thread is that no one, NO-ONE, by which I mean not one of you, has even acknowledged my excellent Millions Now Living Will Never Die reference.  Jesus wept.

Standards... have certainly dropped recently.