Author Topic: Lazy Susan.  (Read 945 times)

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Lazy Susan.
« on: March 13, 2019, 07:08:06 AM »
Lazy Susan leaves her empty Maltesers packets on her desk.

Lazy Susan throws her jacket on the hall floor and leaves it there till it's time to go out again.

Lazy Susan uses Christmas cards from ten years ago. Couldn't be arsed buying nice new ones.

Lazy Susan leaves bread crusts out for the birds but when they don't eat them she doesn't bother collecting the soggy pieces.

Lazy Susan.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2019, 10:44:11 AM »
Lazy Susan sleeps in her work clothes.

Lazy Susan showers once a week.

Lazy Susan eats plain rice for dinner, when she remembers to eat dinner.

Lazy Susan hasn't opened her curtains for several days.

Lazy Susan is depressed :(

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2019, 11:15:02 AM »
I find it hard to believe that Lazy Susan would bother sending Xmas cards or feeding the birds in the first place.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2019, 11:29:49 AM »
Lazy Susan has all her limbs amputated so she doesn't have to wash them.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2019, 11:50:43 AM »
Lazy Susan opts for a home birth because she can't be arsed to call an ambulance.

"Come on Susan, push!"

"Nah, you're alright."

Prison Biscuits

  • a loaf of milk
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2019, 11:51:29 AM »
Lazy Susannnn something something...

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2019, 12:05:10 PM »
Lazy Susan got her rich parents to buy her the same computerised voice system that Stephen Hawking had. Her one is activated by the movement of her closed eyelids, so she doesn't even have to open her eyes.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2019, 12:06:05 PM »
Lazy Susan had her honeymoon in bed.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2019, 12:13:41 PM »
Lazy Susan was hungry so she ate her fingers.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2019, 12:27:48 PM »
Lazy Susan has this great idea for making it easy to reach food on a table with a rotating tray, but can’t be arsed to market it.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2019, 12:32:49 PM »
Lazy Susan takes 30 vitamin supplements on the first of each month.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2019, 12:34:48 PM »
The mould in Lazy Susan's spittoon grows sentient and wages war against the mattress mould and window mould.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2019, 12:35:40 PM »
Lazy Susan cuts her own brakes so the AA can tow her to work.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2019, 12:36:52 PM »
Lazy Susan goes to work naked so she doesn't have to bother getting dressed.

I find it hard to believe that Lazy Susan would bother sending Xmas cards or feeding the birds in the first place.

In truth, she got her brother, 'Active Andrew', to do them things for her.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2019, 12:37:56 PM »
Lazy Susan re-enacts the refrigerator scene from Nine and a Half Weeks with a random bloke off Tinder to get out of doing the dishes.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #15 on: March 13, 2019, 12:38:53 PM »
Lazy Susan re-enacts the refrigerator scene from Nine and a Half Weeks with a random bloke off Tinder to get out of doing the dishes.

I wonder what she does when it's time to put off the hoovering!

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #16 on: March 13, 2019, 12:42:09 PM »
Tinder is too much effort for Lazy Susan, so she just orders pizza from a different takeaway place each night and opens the door wearing nothing but stilettos and nipple tassels.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #17 on: March 13, 2019, 12:46:44 PM »
Lazy Susan opts for a home birth because she can't be arsed to call an ambulance.

"Come on Susan, push!"

"Nah, you're alright."

Lazy Susan’s baby doesn’t last very long.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #18 on: March 13, 2019, 12:55:28 PM »
I wonder what she does when it's time to put off the hoovering!

Lazy Susan hires a temp to draft a complaint letter to iRobot as it wasn't clearly explained that a Roomba needs to be removed from the packaging before use.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #19 on: March 13, 2019, 01:02:38 PM »
Susan mumbles at an Amazon Echo. It does nothing.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #20 on: March 13, 2019, 01:05:46 PM »
Lazy Susan's Just Eat order is sent to;

Susa1111111111111111111,
111111,
1111,
AA11 1AA

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #21 on: March 13, 2019, 01:06:21 PM »
Currently, Lazy Susan has a temp replacing the filling in a load of Pop Tarts with a selection of her favourite ready meals.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2019, 01:07:41 PM »
Susan: 'I'm not lazy! I've got Chronic something-or-other.'

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2019, 01:10:35 PM »
Susan: 'I'm not lazy! I've got Chronic something-or-other.'

Don't 'they' all!

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #24 on: March 13, 2019, 01:19:32 PM »
Lazy Susan can't be arsed.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2019, 01:38:43 PM »
Lazy Susan attempts to email her urine sample to her GP.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2019, 01:57:36 PM »
'Oh, don't go in there! That's the used sanitary towel room.'

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #27 on: March 13, 2019, 02:35:03 PM »
Lazy Susan pretends to have locked-in syndrome and dies peacefully twenty years later in front of "Doctors" surrounded by dust motes and empty crisp packets having accomplished everything she set out to do.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Upphängningspunkterna
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #28 on: March 13, 2019, 02:55:42 PM »

#jesuislazysusan

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #29 on: March 13, 2019, 03:04:26 PM »
Lazy Susan gets her husband to make her sandwiches, cut the crusts off, and eat them for her.