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Lazy Susan.

Started by Glebe, March 13, 2019, 07:08:06 AM

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Glebe

Lazy Susan leaves her empty Maltesers packets on her desk.

Lazy Susan throws her jacket on the hall floor and leaves it there till it's time to go out again.

Lazy Susan uses Christmas cards from ten years ago. Couldn't be arsed buying nice new ones.

Lazy Susan leaves bread crusts out for the birds but when they don't eat them she doesn't bother collecting the soggy pieces.

Lazy Susan.

Noonling

Lazy Susan sleeps in her work clothes.

Lazy Susan showers once a week.

Lazy Susan eats plain rice for dinner, when she remembers to eat dinner.

Lazy Susan hasn't opened her curtains for several days.

Lazy Susan is depressed :(

the

I find it hard to believe that Lazy Susan would bother sending Xmas cards or feeding the birds in the first place.

pancreas

Lazy Susan has all her limbs amputated so she doesn't have to wash them.

Lazy Susan opts for a home birth because she can't be arsed to call an ambulance.

"Come on Susan, push!"

"Nah, you're alright."

Lazy Susannnn something something...

Noonling

Lazy Susan got her rich parents to buy her the same computerised voice system that Stephen Hawking had. Her one is activated by the movement of her closed eyelids, so she doesn't even have to open her eyes.

Noonling

Lazy Susan had her honeymoon in bed.

Noonling

Lazy Susan was hungry so she ate her fingers.

Alberon

Lazy Susan has this great idea for making it easy to reach food on a table with a rotating tray, but can't be arsed to market it.

Noonling

Lazy Susan takes 30 vitamin supplements on the first of each month.

Noonling

The mould in Lazy Susan's spittoon grows sentient and wages war against the mattress mould and window mould.

Lazy Susan cuts her own brakes so the AA can tow her to work.

Glebe

Lazy Susan goes to work naked so she doesn't have to bother getting dressed.

Quote from: the on March 13, 2019, 11:15:02 AMI find it hard to believe that Lazy Susan would bother sending Xmas cards or feeding the birds in the first place.

In truth, she got her brother, 'Active Andrew', to do them things for her.

Lazy Susan re-enacts the refrigerator scene from Nine and a Half Weeks with a random bloke off Tinder to get out of doing the dishes.

Glebe

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on March 13, 2019, 12:37:56 PMLazy Susan re-enacts the refrigerator scene from Nine and a Half Weeks with a random bloke off Tinder to get out of doing the dishes.

I wonder what she does when it's time to put off the hoovering!

Noonling

Tinder is too much effort for Lazy Susan, so she just orders pizza from a different takeaway place each night and opens the door wearing nothing but stilettos and nipple tassels.

pancreas

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on March 13, 2019, 11:50:43 AM
Lazy Susan opts for a home birth because she can't be arsed to call an ambulance.

"Come on Susan, push!"

"Nah, you're alright."

Lazy Susan's baby doesn't last very long.

Quote from: Glebe on March 13, 2019, 12:38:53 PM
I wonder what she does when it's time to put off the hoovering!

Lazy Susan hires a temp to draft a complaint letter to iRobot as it wasn't clearly explained that a Roomba needs to be removed from the packaging before use.

Glebe

Susan mumbles at an Amazon Echo. It does nothing.

Lazy Susan's Just Eat order is sent to;

Susa1111111111111111111,
111111,
1111,
AA11 1AA

pancreas

Currently, Lazy Susan has a temp replacing the filling in a load of Pop Tarts with a selection of her favourite ready meals.

pancreas

Susan: 'I'm not lazy! I've got Chronic something-or-other.'

Glebe

Quote from: pancreas on March 13, 2019, 01:07:41 PMSusan: 'I'm not lazy! I've got Chronic something-or-other.'

Don't 'they' all!

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Lazy Susan can't be arsed.

Lazy Susan attempts to email her urine sample to her GP.

pancreas

'Oh, don't go in there! That's the used sanitary towel room.'

Gregory Torso

Lazy Susan pretends to have locked-in syndrome and dies peacefully twenty years later in front of "Doctors" surrounded by dust motes and empty crisp packets having accomplished everything she set out to do.

Dex Sawash


pancreas

Lazy Susan gets her husband to make her sandwiches, cut the crusts off, and eat them for her.