Author Topic: Lazy Susan.  (Read 811 times)

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2019, 03:22:24 PM »
Lazy Susan places all meals directly into the toilet to "cut out the middle man".

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2019, 03:24:13 PM »
Lazy Susan takes a job at Bensons For Beds at a retail park with very little footfall.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2019, 03:30:19 PM »
Lazy Susan is a human pellet that won’t travel anywhere that she can’t just roll downhill to.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2019, 03:32:27 PM »
Lazy Susan’s favourite animal is a puddle.

She used to have a pet one but it dried up.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #34 on: March 13, 2019, 03:41:00 PM »
Lazy Susan's modelling career comes to an abrupt end when she discovers how long a catwalk is.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #35 on: March 13, 2019, 03:51:23 PM »
Lazy Susan puts out an appeal for witnesses to look for her car keys.

SteveDave

  • My LPs are still for sale in all good record shops
    • BUY BUY BUY
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #36 on: March 13, 2019, 04:10:24 PM »

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #37 on: March 13, 2019, 04:38:33 PM »
Lazy Susan decides to eschew the trip to the hospital and says her last goodbyes to her dad over Skype.

Sherman Krank

  • Ah shaddap-a you face
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #38 on: March 13, 2019, 06:56:38 PM »
Lazy Susan plays the game that never pays
Sung out loud but never played

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #39 on: March 13, 2019, 06:57:16 PM »
Lazy Susan hires a temp to pick out the grey bits from her fish fingers.

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #40 on: March 13, 2019, 08:17:54 PM »
Something something Susan something

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #41 on: March 14, 2019, 10:24:13 AM »
Lazy Susan rings a takeaway and doesn't bother answering the door. She can hear a bloke muttering in Cantonese outside.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #42 on: March 14, 2019, 11:55:30 AM »
Lazy Susan is wracked with jealousy whilst watching The Theory of Everything.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #43 on: March 14, 2019, 12:13:29 PM »
Lazy Susan says she's read Scrappy Little Nobody, but really she's only browsed the inside of the dustjacket.

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  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
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  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #44 on: March 14, 2019, 12:18:31 PM »
Lazy Susan has hired a temp to invent an arsecheek-lifter to remove the labour from farting.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #45 on: March 14, 2019, 12:22:45 PM »
Lazy Susan gets herself a lazy susan to avoid the bother of reaching for condiments, but she can't face turning it and there's nothing on it anyway. At some point she'll stuff it in the uninstalled dumb waiter and forget about it.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #46 on: March 14, 2019, 03:02:16 PM »
Lazy Susan asks her boyfriend to piss into a storm drain because she's already cleaned the toilet once this year and she'll be fucked if she's doing it again.

Berthas Fat Leg

  • Someone’s sitting there, mate
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #47 on: March 14, 2019, 04:42:31 PM »
Lazy Susan doesn’t play video games, but if she did, she wouldn’t change anything about the default character on the ‘character customisation’ screen.

Lazy Susan would take down the Christmas decorations but they’ve already been up for years anyway.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #48 on: March 14, 2019, 04:59:49 PM »
Lazy Susan FedEx's her son to football practice.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #49 on: March 14, 2019, 07:26:31 PM »
Lazy Susan grabs her comatose boyfriend's IV drip, squeezes out "WUV-U BAE" on it in morse code then heads off to the Ministry of Sound.


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  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #50 on: March 14, 2019, 07:45:39 PM »
Lazy Susan doesn’t play video games, but if she did, she wouldn’t change anything about the default character on the ‘character customisation’ screen.

Lazy Susan plays computer/video games (whatever the kids call them these days).  She literally just sits on her fat arse all day and presses buttons on a controller!

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #51 on: March 14, 2019, 07:51:36 PM »
Lazy Susan dreams of training herself to simulate vaginismus so she would never have to go through the motions again.

One day I will..... one day.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #52 on: March 14, 2019, 08:22:36 PM »
Lazy Susan throws an unopened tin of Whiskas at the dog.

seepage

  • throwing a dog at some goblins
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #53 on: March 14, 2019, 08:33:37 PM »
LS uses the Edge browser at 640x480 res

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #54 on: March 14, 2019, 11:45:36 PM »
Lazy Susan dies and can’t be arsed to crawl down the tunnel with the light at the end.

Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #55 on: March 14, 2019, 11:49:22 PM »
LS uses the Edge browser at 640x480 res

She's turned on 'screen reader' in the accessibility settings.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #56 on: March 14, 2019, 11:59:10 PM »
Lazy Susan’s home is infested with mice.  Right now a mouse is shitting directly into her open eye and she can’t be bothered to make a sudden movement to scare it off, or even blink to stop the shit piling up on her eyeball.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #57 on: March 15, 2019, 12:02:51 AM »
Lazy Susan sellotapes her fitbit to the cat so it logs the required steps per day

Well, she shouts for her fella to, anyway.

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #58 on: March 15, 2019, 12:05:58 AM »

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: Lazy Susan.
« Reply #59 on: March 15, 2019, 11:45:33 AM »
Lazy Susan stays in bed for two weeks, using the excuse that she's "depressed."