Lazy Susan.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan places all meals directly into the toilet to "cut out the middle man".

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan takes a job at Bensons For Beds at a retail park with very little footfall.

[Gregory Torso]

Lazy Susan is a human pellet that won't travel anywhere that she can't just roll downhill to.

[Gregory Torso]

Lazy Susan's favourite animal is a puddle.

She used to have a pet one but it dried up.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan's modelling career comes to an abrupt end when she discovers how long a catwalk is.

[pancreas]

Lazy Susan puts out an appeal for witnesses to look for her car keys.

[SteveDave]

#jesuislazysusan

Jesus Lazy Susan

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan decides to eschew the trip to the hospital and says her last goodbyes to her dad over Skype.

[Sherman Krank]

Lazy Susan plays the game that never pays
Sung out loud but never played

[Sebastian Cobb]

Lazy Susan hires a temp to pick out the grey bits from her fish fingers.

[Norton Canes]

Something something Susan something

[Glebe]

Lazy Susan rings a takeaway and doesn't bother answering the door. She can hear a bloke muttering in Cantonese outside.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan is wracked with jealousy whilst watching The Theory of Everything.

[rasta-spouse]

Lazy Susan says she's read Scrappy Little Nobody, but really she's only browsed the inside of the dustjacket.

[Replies From View]

Lazy Susan has hired a temp to invent an arsecheek-lifter to remove the labour from farting.

[jobotic]

Lazy Susan gets herself a lazy susan to avoid the bother of reaching for condiments, but she can't face turning it and there's nothing on it anyway. At some point she'll stuff it in the uninstalled dumb waiter and forget about it.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan asks her boyfriend to piss into a storm drain because she's already cleaned the toilet once this year and she'll be fucked if she's doing it again.

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Lazy Susan doesn't play video games, but if she did, she wouldn't change anything about the default character on the 'character customisation' screen.

Lazy Susan would take down the Christmas decorations but they've already been up for years anyway.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Lazy Susan FedEx's her son to football practice.

[rasta-spouse]

Lazy Susan grabs her comatose boyfriend's IV drip, squeezes out "WUV-U BAE" on it in morse code then heads off to the Ministry of Sound.

[Replies From View]

Lazy Susan doesn't play video games, but if she did, she wouldn't change anything about the default character on the 'character customisation' screen.

Lazy Susan plays computer/video games (whatever the kids call them these days).  She literally just sits on her fat arse all day and presses buttons on a controller!

[GMTV]

Lazy Susan dreams of training herself to simulate vaginismus so she would never have to go through the motions again.

One day I will..... one day.

[Glebe]

Lazy Susan throws an unopened tin of Whiskas at the dog.

[seepage]

LS uses the Edge browser at 640x480 res

[Replies From View]

Lazy Susan dies and can't be arsed to crawl down the tunnel with the light at the end.

[Sebastian Cobb]

LS uses the Edge browser at 640x480 res

She's turned on 'screen reader' in the accessibility settings.

[Replies From View]

Lazy Susan's home is infested with mice.  Right now a mouse is shitting directly into her open eye and she can't be bothered to make a sudden movement to scare it off, or even blink to stop the shit piling up on her eyeball.

[ToneLa]

Lazy Susan sellotapes her fitbit to the cat so it logs the required steps per day

Well, she shouts for her fella to, anyway.

[ToneLa]

[Glebe]

Lazy Susan stays in bed for two weeks, using the excuse that she's "depressed."