The Student Loans Company Are Going to Chib Me.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

With university receding ever further into the dim and distant past, the SLC are getting more and more interested in knowing when I'm going to pay them back. At my current rate of earning, the answer is "probably never". In the past I would phone them up and explain how my... unconventional economic standing meant I couldn't fill out their employment questionaire and that, furthermore, their miserly attitude was just conforming to ugly Scottish stereotypes. This was always enough to make them call off the hounds for a while. Now, however, they've gone all computerised, talking to an actual human (even a bellicose, drunken Scotchman) seems to be impossible and they're back with a vengeance.

In the last few weeks I've had three letters, with a fourth today, along with an e-mail and text message. All of them making vague threats of "penalties" (as if Scotland has ever got as far as that) and possible breach of Terms and Conditions. I am acutely aware that I really should be sorting out my whole financial situation anyway, but should I be worried about these Buckfast swilling border reavers?


Haggis.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fuck 'em. It's not like they even send the boyys round if you don't pay.

[ToneLa]

I've had all the penalties crap out of the blue and they were opaque as fuck to deal with. I mean, one letter literally had PENALTIES in red and bold and caps so I shat myself but read it and it was just shite aboot different Ts and Cs and if I left the country for too long and other purely What If stuff.

Had to "prove" I'm on the rock n roll; they seem to fuck off if there's no actual money to smell.

I was sufficiently arsed to look into "what happens if I just ignore them" and I left with the impression nowt I couldn't handle. But they're, like, an arms-length away from the government, and they've sold my loan onto some fucking random debt company since, and I'd be a bit warier now.

I figure it'll get written off when I hit 50? At this rate it's no getting paid off.

When I need to talk to someone at an all-robot company I do one of a few things: Mash buttons til something works. Choose the wrong option or even wait on somne systems to get someone and ramble on and get them to transfer me to get rid of me (lots of shitty yet legit callcentres try not to hang up on you).

They're fucking incompetent anyway mate but yeah a human would be good. What you have so far sounds like the automatic shite they send when they think HUH THIS FELLA OWES MOOLAH. Which I think is them doing a periodic check if they don't see you active. It sounds scarier than it is. In theory!

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

It wasn't entirely out of the blue, to be fair. They sent me a letter at the beginning of last year, which I duly ignored. Their current campaign of implicit threats (probably to slice my cheeks open, with a Stanley blade that they keep hidden in a pack of cigarettes) is unprecedented in it's magnitude, though.

I'm a laid back sort of person (i.e. a lazy bugger) so I haven't been bricking it so far. I figure if they're that fussed, they could ring up and speak to me directly.

Fuck 'em. It's not like they even send the lairds round if you don't pay.

Fixed.

[Brian Freeze]

I thought they were based in Darlington. Is that old news? Or part of Scotland now?

[Ferris]

As I've mentioned ad nauseum on here, I don't live in the UK. That means once a year, I have to give them proof of income. Copies of bank statements, and a letter from my employer with my salary. No worries, I do it every year. I'm not trying to con them. This year, they processed this incorrectly 4 times in a row, which lead to 4 months of "arrears" on my account.

Eventually, I called them up to make sure they had everything they needed because I'm a nice person who wants to pay back into the system. This awakened a long-dormant file (they'd been sending correspondence to the wrong address because they hadn't updated their files correctly and stopped sending reminders in 2014), and on the phone, they said they'd overpaid a grant to me in 2008 of 300 quid and that I needed to work out a payment plan with them. When I complained, they made up some numbers and said actually I owe them another 650 quid in addition (though they can't tell me why or from when)!

They've started sending me collections notices, though I'm a Canadian citizen living in Canada (and protected by provincial and federal legislation). I pointed out it's illegal for them to do this to no avail.

After a year (!) of arguing I sent them an email saying you've got this wrong, but I'm sick of it so I'll give you an extra 1gbp a month for "repayments". They responded today (after 9 weeks) and said I needed to fill in a form detailing my (and my wife's!) salaries, rent, disposable income and repayment amounts before they'll accept that agreement! The fucking nerve of these cunts.

Separately, I've explained I'm on long term parental leave from work so my income is 0 and I'm living on savings, and sent them copies of the docs they require as outlined in their own t&cs, and did it a month early with an explanatory email to boot. Except! They've now decided these documents are not sufficient (though they keep sending me letters requesting the same documents) - they now need 3 months of my bank account statements showing no income. Well ok, but I can't give you that until 3 months of no income have elapsed so you won't get it til May. Their response? Keep asking me for the same stuff that (short of a time machine) I can't provide them (and claim I'm "refusing" to send this to them).

They take over a month to respond to each email, and each one is starting again from scratch. And the whole point of me being organized was so I didn't have to deal with these shitheads while I'm sleep deprived and bonding with my infant son.

I could move to Winnipeg tomorrow and they'd never hear from me again, but that's not how I want to handle this. Because of my income, I pay them the full amount allowable under the terms of my loan (I think?) every month, on time, and have done for as long as I've been working.

I think the place is staffed by bitter cunts who know how much I make and want to make my life difficult because I'm well paid and am not trapped in fucking Darlington.

I hate them with a fiery passion. Can you tell from my long rant? Fuck them. They can't touch me. They can whistle for their fucking money.

[Ferris]

For the record, I'm just ignoring them now. They'll get their repayments when I say, and not before.

Just typing this out has made me irrationally angry.

[a duncandisorderly]

I think the place is staffed by bitter cunts who know how much I make and want to make my life difficult because I'm well paid and am not trapped in fucking Darlington.

darlo is a shit-hole.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Had a discussion with mates who have also been in Austria long-term about who had paid off student loans. In 2001, I worked 18 hours a day, 7 days a week for 9 weeks on a mega translation project, and "spaffed it up the wall" on repaying my student loans.  A mate at his 50th toasted his being written off. Another guy, who will move back to the UK next month, said that if it weren't for the fact that he can make a living in the UK instead of living hand to mouth in Austria, he would have stayed here, as he says that when he returns to the UK after 17 years here, he is expecting them to come after him.

[Ferris]

darlo is a shit-hole.

And I'd sympathize more if they weren't such nasty, incompetent, spiteful cunts. I'm glad they have a shit time. They deserve it, frankly.

Had a discussion with mates who have also been in Austria long-term about who had paid off student loans. In 2001, I worked 18 hours a day, 7 days a week for 9 weeks on a mega translation project, and "spaffed it up the wall" on repaying my student loans.  A mate at his 50th toasted his being written off. Another guy, who will move back to the UK next month, said that if it weren't for the fact that he can make a living in the UK instead of living hand to mouth in Austria, he would have stayed here, as he says that when he returns to the UK after 17 years here, he is expecting them to come after him.

I realize now you're supposed to just be dishonest with them and say you didn't make anything over the threshold and they can't prove otherwise, then start repaying them when you start working in the UK.

For fucks sake, don't make my mistake and be honest with them or you'll never hear the end of it

[Bence Fekete]

They are pure cunts.  I get my mother to put money in my account once a year now solely so I have something to point to and explain how I live rather than have to explain the truth (which is I live on savings from my old career taking out loan sharks with my sniper rifle).

I wouldn't fuck with them now though.  It's not worth it.  Preserve your mental health and get someone to roleplay as your bill player.

[gib]

I stopped making the payments a few years ago when i realised i would never hit the income threshold. I still get a statement each year but not had any letters or anything like that.

[canadagoose]

I take it this is only an issue when you live abroad? I've never had any demands from them or anything in the 7 years I've been in "repayment".

[Icehaven]

I have to apply to defer every year about now (just did it a few weeks ago) as I'm well under the repayment threshold and probably always will be, however about 6 months ago they sent me a letter saying if I paid 50% of the whole amount off in a lump sum, the other 50% would be written off. Apart from the fact I obviously don't have that kind of money at all, never mind to chuck at a loan I'm probably never going to have to repay anyway, I was struggling to see the logic there. I can only imagine they see that thousands of people in my age/wage bracket are likely going to reach retirement without ever earning enough to have to repay (one minor advantage of being in one of the generations truly shafted by the crash) so are trying to claw something back by offering a favourable deal to get rid of this debt 'hanging over' us. Nah you're alright thanks, given a choice between giving them thousands of pounds (even if I had it) and giving them nothing ever, I think I can live with it.

[buttgammon]

I take it this is only an issue when you live abroad? I've never had any demands from them or anything in the 7 years I've been in "repayment".

I think so. When I moved to Ireland, I thought "ah-ha, I'm free! They'll never find me here." About two years later, I started getting pestered by them. I'm still in postgrad education and I'm not earning enough to be in a position to pay anything back, so I'm okay for the time being.

[ToneLa]

I take it this is only an issue when you live abroad? I've never had any demands from them or anything in the 7 years I've been in "repayment".

One major rule they have is having to tell them if you're not in the UK for more than three months so they're probably ANGRY AT YOU if you DARE to go abroad!

Got to watch your back when you're about. Furtive looks over the shoulder

[Cuellar]

I periodically get letters from them detailing just how much money I owe them, but they've never demanded anything. And they won't be getting their money back either, at this rate, so they can swivel as far as I'm concerned.

[Blinder Data]

Mine is taken off me automatically, get me

I have siblings that live abroad and they just ignore them. Harder for you to do the same but ferris's story is a cautionary tale - if you can't/shouldn't pay what they're asking, it seems getting involved with them is more trouble than saying nowt

[Ferris]

I take it this is only an issue when you live abroad? I've never had any demands from them or anything in the 7 years I've been in "repayment".

If you live outside the UK, you aren't plugged into the tax system so they don't know how much you make automatically. Every year I have to give them a letter of employment, 3 months of bank statements, and my last 6 paystubs before they will believe me. Until they do, they send me collections letters threatening me with UK bailiffs, I've pointed out it's illegal for them to do this to me (a Canadian citizen living in Canada protected by provincial and federal debt collection legislation) but they are morons who can't (or won't) stop these letters because they're incompetent or lazy or spiteful (or all 3).

Even with all this information, they get it wrong (charge me the wrong amount, re-request docs they already have etc etc). The issue last year was they agreed everything, except they said it was incomplete because my employment letter didn't state explicitly that the salary number they quoted was gross salary, not net salary (ie after tax). I pointed out that yes, it says gross and is the 6th word in the letter and what kind of employment letter would give my net salary, but it took them 4 months and 2 attempts of me pointing out the fucking obvious before they would agree.

In that time, they put my account in arrears, plus interest and continued sending collections letters. They also still managed to charge me the wrong amount, which they admitted and offered no reason or apology for. Also they now want another thousand quid off me (for mysterious "arrears" that weren't there last month), but can't say why these have appeared. Now I could move to Vancouver or Las Vegas tomorrow and they'd never see another penny from me again so given how precarious their position is, it's mad they carry on the way they do.

The place is staffed by 2 kinds of people: those who don't care, and vindictive, nasty, petty cunts who want to make your life a bit more difficult for no reason other than they are vindictive, nasty and petty cunts. As mentioned above, I hate them with a fiery passion.

[Ferris]

I've just realized I come across as unhinged and laughably bitter in this thread. Sorry. The SLC has been useless in my case but I'll save my rants for elsewhere.

I'll stop clogging up the thread now :(

[Cuellar]

If you're protected as a Canadian citizen could you just tell them eff off and not pay anything?

[Ferris]

If you're protected as a Canadian citizen could you just tell them eff off and not pay anything?

I could, but my degree opened doors for me and I make more than I ever thought I would and I'd like to pay back into the system. That's naive of me I know, but there it is.

[shiftwork2]

I got an answering machine message from them many years ago, it stated it was a 'business call from Glasgow'.  Much laughter ensued because I wasn't really the sort of person to get business calls with my smiths t-shirt, cardigan and DMs with the soles flapping off.  But as code for debt collection call - oh yeah, fine.

[Cuellar]

I could, but my degree opened doors for me and I make more than I ever thought I would and I'd like to pay back into the system. That's naive of me I know, but there it is.

Fair play.

If I was abroad (calm down Glinner!!!!) I'd definitely tell them get stuffed out of principle.

[nw83]

This will be boring.

I live abroad. They got in contact with me a few years ago, and I went along with it, sent them my current earnings, etc. Then suddenly I received a letter saying I MUST (in block capitals) make my first repayment before ___, a date which had already passed nearly a month ago. Somehow they expected this letter to reach me within two days. This effectively meant I had to pay two months of repayments at short notice, and would presumably be logged somewhere as a late payer (at the time, I thought that might be pretty serious). I had a few questions about how they arrived at the figure I'd need to pay too - I earn a fairly low amount in a notoriously expensive country.

So I asked them to make another arrangement, with another start date, answer those questions (clarify their methodology, calculating the amounts), and I'd begin repayments, but they refused and didn't explain why. Simultaneously I only had a few months left on my work contract, and they couldn't clarify how I could suspend my year long commitment to repay them every month if I didn't have a job (something about proving I have no incoming earnings, which seems impossible to me - why don't you prove you're not a nonce, mate). Because they took so long to reply to emails, and would repeat points that I'd already said were irreverent or inadequate (a different person replies each time, and they seemingly have no archive of previous correspondence), I just got frustrated and ignored them. When I discovered the amount of interest being applied to the loan exceeds what I'd pay off it monthly, meaning I'd just be chucking money down a black hole anyway, I became more determined. They've gave some of the loan to a company called Transcom to manage. I must admit I do get excited when I'm back in the UK, drinking at the local boozer and feeling like a fugitive or something.

[Icehaven]

So has Erudio not taken over everyone's then? Reading here that some people still deal with the SLC and other names, I'm guessing not. Mine switched to Erudio several years ago now, and they immediately insisted I set up a monthly direct debit for £0.00. I wasn't keen, but given they can't alter the amount, only I can, I did it anyway so it's just sat there for years now, meaninglessly.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

The message I'm getting is that I should continue ignoring them. Fine by me.

So has Erudio not taken over everyone's then?

I believe it's pronounced Sussudio. I quite like the idea of setting up a standing order that pays them nothing. If it hadn't been at their insistence, it'd even more insulting than ignoring them.

[Icehaven]

I quite like the idea of setting up a standing order that pays them nothing. If it hadn't been at their insistence, it'd even more insulting than ignoring them.

I was sceptical at first as it's so obviously pointless and presumably just designed to make it marginally faster if you do have to start making repayments, but it got them off my back so I did it anyway. Banking isn't my strong point but presumably they'd have no way of knowing if I cancelled it anyway.

[rasta-spouse]

So if SLC pass your loan onto a private company, are the new guys allowed to be pricks and send the bailiffs round or are they still stuck to the original contract?

Still, look at American student debt. That is head-hurtingly mind-boggling.

[DrGreggles]

So has Erudio not taken over everyone's then? Reading here that some people still deal with the SLC and other names, I'm guessing not. Mine switched to Erudio several years ago now, and they immediately insisted I set up a monthly direct debit for £0.00. I wasn't keen, but given they can't alter the amount, only I can, I did it anyway so it's just sat there for years now, meaninglessly.

A mate of mine has had his DD repayments at £0.01 per month as a placeholder for a few years now, as he was between jobs when it was set up.
They've tried to get him to increase the amount, but he just says that he's not interested and the original agreement is fine.
It seems that legally he doesn't have to change a thing, as all the contracts are valid and any changes to the repayment plan have to be agreed with both parties.

Not sure if it's Erudio he dealt with, but they must have some morons working there.
Or some smart fuckers on a commission...