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March 29, 2024, 09:28:29 AM

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100% Real Anus Talk

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, March 17, 2019, 10:05:22 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

pancreas

When you say thread, do you mean the string you swallowed?

Anyway, please do say a bit more about your experience for our readership's infotainment.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Have to say, matters are right back "on stream", which is a modern turn of phrase meaning "in good working order", not a literal translation for either the location or internal dynamics of my anus.

Cheers

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: thraxx on March 18, 2019, 12:52:24 PM
It's come out now. Fat lot of use this thread was.

4 minutes notice! Harsh

Twit 2

I have a friend whose anus I don't like. How can I make it 'disappear'?

pancreas


thraxx

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 18, 2019, 01:00:03 PM
4 minutes notice! Harsh

That's modern Anus chat Grandad - and it moves fast!  The days of when there were four anus news periodicals in print are long gone.  The satirical 'Melody Maker' trumped it's last in 1999 and New Mudflap Express went electronic in 2018.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Twit 2 on March 18, 2019, 02:06:55 PM
I have a friend whose anus I don't like. How can I make it 'disappear'?

A few have summoned the "Anus Genie" who will grant you three wishes, all relating to the utility of the anus.

Other people just pay someone to physically erase all proof that anus even existed. Liam Neeson for example, will do an anus disappearance for a grand in used* notes and a pint of coca cola - he always insists on the coke.


*Steady

poo

Question: who here has "lived" in an anus?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: poo on March 18, 2019, 04:39:11 PM
Question: who here has "lived" in an anus?

"Define" lived?

poo

That's a no from you then.

Pingers

Quote from: pancreas on March 18, 2019, 10:54:44 AM
Has he been given a refund? The Citizen's Anus Bureau may be able to help if not.

You may already know this, but the founder and Chief Executive of the Citizens Anus Bureau is none other than Citizen Anus, who was the first to pioneer a rights and advocacy based approach to anus issues (missus), originally dispensing advice from behind an actual bureau on the Old Kent Road in 1978.

The CAB has remained the preeminent organisation of its kind, despite the rise in the mid-1980s of the Rectal Rights Coalition ("Don't Frown on Brown!").

Trivia fans may be interested to know that Citizen Anus's favourite band is Hole.

Twit 2

Anus Genie wishes:

1. A new anus after shit.
2. A new anus after every pummelling.
3. Theresa May drowned in a latrine.

thraxx

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 18, 2019, 01:00:03 PM
4 minutes notice! Harsh

Right then Mr Demanding.  I'm giving you (and everyone) 10 minutes notice today.

Give me your anus advice for this morning's ablution which I will implement.


thraxx


You all failed AGAIN.

I'm going to go over to the All England Talk Anus forum.

pancreas

Fucking hell Shoulders, they're walking out on you! How can you even make a pretence of 50% Real Anus Talk right now?

Pingers

Competition coming in from All Anus Talk Radio as well

poo

What, no one's lived in an anus???!!

pancreas

Couldn't afford the mortgage. Can you do buy-to-let?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: thraxx on March 19, 2019, 09:10:36 AM
You all failed AGAIN.

I'm going to go over to the All England Talk Anus forum.

Shit, sorry about that.

I can't be expected to keep the entire Anus Talk show on the road. We need a 12th man here! Where are you?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Interesting developments anally last 24 -

Deterioration last night into early morning and a toilet event that I thought would move matters into Defcon territory, yet appears to have resolved adequately. Pff, close.

pancreas

Are things under control or should we consider assembling a COBRA meeting to war-game your anus?

thraxx


After the serial disappointments of this thread I just wanted you all to know that I have found solace in The Samaritanus.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: pancreas on March 19, 2019, 03:14:53 PM
Are things under control or should we consider assembling a COBRA meeting to war-game your anus?

At the last meeting the Anus Terror Threat Level was raised to Severe, meaning that the prospect of Anal Terror is now Extremely Likely. Folk are advised to remain "calm yet vigilant".

canadagoose


poo

Do you know who really loves anus?










































































































































































#Clowne

canadagoose

This is some great anus chat. Lovely stuff.

pancreas

I would like to talk about this picture please.


canadagoose


pancreas

I know, right? What a horrible anus that animal has. I find it quite shocking. Who is with me?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Where is "Anus Education" on the curriculum? I don't see it*


*Yes, Catholic schools but some aren't so lucky