Sunday night negotiate human stupidity (bike thread)

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Parked my bike outside the tescos for about a quarter of an hour, came back and a very very clever bike person had parked theirs next to mine, with their cable lock looped through their bike, the bike rack, and my bike. So I can't go anywhere until captain bike genius returns.

I can't really call the coppers about this, because it's not really a crime to be an irredeemably stupid bellend. However it's also out of the question to wait for the legendary bike tit to reappear - the rack in question is part of a leisure park that also contains a cinema, meaning they could have fucked off to watch a film for upwards of 2 hours. There's also a Travelodge and nearby major train station, so I could be waiting for more than a day.

So I have sensibly fucked off and caught the train, with my plan being to go back and retrieve it later. But it is going to frustrate me endlessly that he/she could just turn up, go "oh right, ha ha silly me tee hee hee!" and then leave with no consequence. I would have much preferred getting to actually confront the big thick lump of shit in person,  stare into their face as they unlock their bike, mutter "thanks pal" and then leave with mine.

I'm not that angry really, I'm not hoping this person gets AIDS, but if it was in the news that they did, at best I reckon could muster up a half-hearted shrug and a "well, there you go then".

Have you ever had your bike inmobilised by an idiot?

[hummingofevil]

You should have used your lock to lock your bike to the other one ensuring that both of you have to synchronise in order to release both bikes.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Have you ever had your bike inmobilised by an idiot?

I'd go apeshit and smash stuff, probely

[Sebastian Cobb]

Piss on their handlebars.

[kittens]

i read people do this sometimes in order to nick your bike. lock it up, wait till night, unlock, hack off your lock, fuck off. be warned

[Emma Raducanu]

I had my bike stolen 3 times before deciding I'd rather just not have one.

[Dex Sawash]

WWSMBHD^*





_{* smbh would give it the arse finger}

[Icehaven]

Have you ever had your bike inmobilised by an idiot?

2 idiots actually. We've just moved and I had to ride my bike from my old place to the new one, hadn't ridden it for ages and the tyres were flat. I found my pump but the connector was broken so went with Mr. Haven (aka idiot 1) to hardware shop to buy another, and asked him several times if they're all a standard size so it'd definitely fit the pump, and he assured me they were. Got back to the old place and tried to fit it, obviously they aren't standard as it didn't fit. Then I (aka idiot 2) remembered I'd actually had the pump in my bag in the shop so I could have checked before buying. Had to push the bloody thing over a mile.

[Sebastian Cobb]

2 idiots actually. We've just moved and I had to ride my bike from my old place to the new one, hadn't ridden it for ages and the tyres were flat. I found my pump but the connector was broken so went with Mr. Haven (aka idiot 1) to hardware shop to buy another, and asked him several times if they're all a standard size so it'd definitely fit the pump, and he assured me they were. Got back to the old place and tried to fit it, obviously they aren't standard as it didn't fit. Then I (aka idiot 2) remembered I'd actually had the pump in my bag in the shop so I could have checked before buying. Had to push the bloody thing over a mile.

It's quite rare that pumps can't do both presta and schrader, usually there's an unscrewable bit and you can turn the innards round.

I hate presta valves, I've got a road bike with stupid large rims so I have to use valve extenders, it's such a faff, you have to unscrew the valves and damage the threads otherwise they'll close up and you'll need to take the fuckers apart to blow them up.

I'm also not really over my Kona Paddywagon getting nicked.

[Zetetic]

No, so in all honesty I'm probably one of the ones who does it to other people's and doesn't even notice.

[Twed]

It's quite rare that pumps can't do both presta and schrader, usually there's an unscrewable bit and you can turn the innards round.

I hate presta valves, I've got a road bike with stupid large rims so I have to use valve extenders, it's such a faff, you have to unscrew the valves and damage the threads otherwise they'll close up and you'll need to take the fuckers apart to blow them up.

I'm also not really over my Kona Paddywagon getting nicked.

You're a valve.

[Jittlebags]

I hope you gave their seat a good sniffing. That'll be them told.

[touchingcloth]

I once parked my bike at a rural train station while I was away for a weekend. I was worried that someone would nick it, so I very diligently locked it to a bike rack covered by the station's CCTV.

Can you imagine my relief when my return train pulled into the station and I could see my bike still locked to the rack?

Well, not so fast. When I started unlocking my bike, I noticed that the seat was very low, and looking closer I could see that someone had pinched the quick release bolt from it. And from the wheels. And they'd had off with the nuts keeping the brake pads and handlebars in place. Probably £20 worth of stuff in total, and stuff that would be useless to anyone if they weren't also nicking the corresponding pieces from other bikes around the place.

I was living around 3 miles from the train station at the time, so I picked up my frame and two detached wheels and hobbled that plus my two panniers along to the bus stop waiting for the last Sunday bus home, which after a long wait the driver refused to let me get on because they didn't allow bikes, even disassembled ones.

Not that I'm bitter 8 years on.

[St_Eddie]

Probably £20 worth of stuff in total, and stuff that would be useless to anyone if they weren't also nicking the corresponding pieces from other bikes around the place.

I love the thought of somebody going around, slowly stealing the necessary parts over several years in order to construct their own bike.

[kngen]

Someone stole my brakes once. All the more galling as I didn't discover this until I tried to slow down at a red light at a busy intersection. That was a hairy 10 seconds I'd rather not repeat.

[Morrison Lard]

Update please.

[kittens]

angrew asked me to tell everyone that he went back for his bike and they were waiting for him and he has been kidnapped and will need to be rescued.

[Sebastian Cobb]

U-locked round the neck into the rack like a modern-day set of stocks.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

hELP PLEA

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

(That was of course a silly joke. The park security actually told me they found out who did the locking, and he wasn't an evil bastard, he was just a stupid cunt. Major relief that. Anyway I've got the bike and all now)

[St_Eddie]

The park security actually told me they found out who did the locking, and he wasn't an evil bastard, he was just a stupid cunt. Major relief that. Anyway I've got the bike and all now)

What an anticlimactic ending.  You're like the Lost of people.