"Alarm bells" about someone else

[canadagoose]

You know what I mean. You know when someone you've come across just gives you a gut feeling that they're not a great person, and you've got a few measly bits of evidence that suggest they're a bit off, but yet everyone else seems to love them? What have you done when there's been someone like this you've known? How did you avoid them, especially if they managed to inveigle you into one of their schemes somehow? I'd be interested to know.

In the case of this person I'm thinking of, I've not interacted with her in any way but she's perilously close to my online circle and I fear I may be sucked into it. I really don't want to be. CaB, surely you can help somehow.

[thenoise]

FUCK HER AND EAT HER

[canadagoose]

FUCK HER AND EAT HER

I'd rather not. Ugh, I'd never go near her.

[garnish]

Do you mean you don't like the person or are you saying there's something more deeply wrong like she's a sociopath

[canadagoose]

Do you mean you don't like the person or are you saying there's something more deeply wrong like she's a sociopath

The latter. Like, she gives me the fear. Honestly.

[Twed]

Usually after about a year somebody else will probably say "you know I really don't care for Lauren" and you can let it all out.

[garnish]

The latter. Like, she gives me the fear. Honestly.

What's she done or said then, spew it all out for us

[canadagoose]

Usually after about a year somebody else will probably say "you know I really don't care for Lauren" and you can let it all out.

I do wonder if it will happen. It's bound to. Or maybe I'm just paranoid, but I'm not usually wrong when it comes to that... feeling.

[Large Noise]

Details.

[canadagoose]

What's she done or said then, spew it all out for us

Not giving too many specifics because I'm not saying who it is, but she has claimed contradictory things about herself, guilt-tripped people, and just doesn't seem genuine. Cool as a cucumber except for when she wants things. Dodgy AF if you ask me.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

He don't sit right


He don't sit right with me Lois

[canadagoose]

He don't sit right


He don't sit right with me Lois

Yeah, it's like that. Like a kind of uncanny valley.

[BlodwynPig]

I'll come clean Goosey, it's me...sorry.

[canadagoose]

I'll come clean Goosey, it's me...sorry.

Is she your Mr Hyde? Pig-academic by day, gives me the boke by night... I'll bet!

edit: just realised this looks really insulting. You and her have nothing in common, honest.

[bgmnts]

I'm currently in that sitation right now. Lol

[canadagoose]

I'm currently in that sitation right now. Lol

Do tell!

[BlodwynPig]

I'm currently in that sitation right now. Lol

[Sebastian Cobb]

I wouldn't want that swimming up me arse.

[canadagoose]

Awwww, a mangalitza! They can do no wrong in my book.

[drummersaredeaf]

I'm currently in that sitation right now. Lol

Honestly pal, if you can just try to act normal for five minutes you'll probably get away with it.

[Bum Flaps]

I wouldn't want that swimming up me arse.

Don't knock it til you've tried it!

[Clownbaby]

One thing that gives me alarm bells is when someone is very, very anxious to come across as nice and constantly drops things like "out of the kindness of my own heart", "I'm a nice person, right", "That's just the kind of person I am" etc. into a conversation, never showing any signs of annoyance, negativity, no human hints of darkness ever, always ends up being dodgy (in my experience) sooner or later. You either find out they've been desperately squashing down all their venom and nastiness and it just erupts out of them one day like Ned Flanders, or you start to realise the forced default holiness is just there to balance out the condescending, self-absorbed twat on the other end. The people who smile the most aren't always the nicest.

I'm probably oversimplifying it but don't talk to the lass or if you do keep it civil and generic to avoid any accidental emotional investment/curiosity on your part that could lead you into this person's life beyond going "alright" "yeah you" "yeah". I'm curious about her though, give es the deets NOW (if you want)

[Flouncer]

I'm curious about her though, give es the deets NOW (if you want)

You can't just prick-tease us like this! We want to knoooooow!

[canadagoose]

One thing that gives me alarm bells is when someone is very, very anxious to come across as nice and constantly drops things like "out of the kindness of my own heart", "I'm a nice person, right", "That's just the kind of person I am" etc. into a conversation, never showing any signs of annoyance, negativity, no human hints of darkness ever, always ends up being dodgy (in my experience) sooner or later. You either find out they've been desperately squashing down all their venom and nastiness and it just erupts out of them one day like Ned Flanders, or you start to realise the forced default holiness is just there to balance out the condescending, self-absorbed twat on the other end. The people who smile the most aren't always the nicest.

I'm probably oversimplifying it but don't talk to the lass or if you do keep it civil and generic to avoid any accidental emotional investment/curiosity on your part that could lead you into this person's life beyond going "alright" "yeah you" "yeah". I'm curious about her though, give es the deets NOW (if you want)

At the start of your post, I was worried that could be like me, but I think I know what you mean. I sure as owt don't say "I'm nice" or "I'm a good person" because that's just weird. I think you've got the right idea about keeping it generic when it comes to her; it's just hard when you know she could retransmit my ambivalence to a lot of other people and have me be the object of other people's ridicule. But meh. I've just got to keep it low-key, I think, like you say.

[Clownbaby]

At the start of your post, I was worried that could be like me, but I think I know what you mean. I sure as owt don't say "I'm nice" or "I'm a good person" because that's just weird. I think you've got the right idea about keeping it generic when it comes to her; it's just hard when you know she could retransmit my ambivalence to a lot of other people and have me be the object of other people's ridicule. But meh. I've just got to keep it low-key, I think, like you say.

Yeah. Just to be properly clear I'm not talking about people who are just self-conscious and eager to please cause that's many people and it's totally normal isn't it, but people who have practiced almost uncanny valley levels of nice and refuse to be seen as anything else, EVER. If she starts thinking you're a cunt because you're not kissing her feet like she might be used to (I don't know) and manages to use this to turn people against you then try and remember that they're all obviously still living in year 8 and no person who cares about their own time would indulge that kind of schoolgirl shit for a second in the real world. It's depressing that these nasty potentates exist who seem to have this strange mass influence on people who only notice they're a twat when it's too late eh

[sprocket]

You know what I mean. You know when someone you've come across just gives you a gut feeling that they're not a great person, and you've got a few measly bits of evidence that suggest they're a bit off, but yet everyone else seems to love them? What have you done when there's been someone like this you've known?

I murdered their pet tortoise.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Ross had something like this in that episode of " Friends" in which Ben Stiller guest starred. Everything turned out alright in the end though, so don't worry.

[steveh]

My advice in dealing with those higher up the narcissistic / psychopathic scale would be:

1. Keep under the radar of such people. If you don't have anything of value to them - status, money, willingness to do things for them, etc - then they won't be interested in you.

2. In any interactions just treat them as an ordinary acquaintance and don't be swayed by either flattery or demeaning comments from them.

3. Never let yourself get talked into doing something that you you're not completely comfortable with. If you get that gut feeling that something isn't quite right then listen to it and don't give yourself excuses why it's okay to ignore a red flag just this time.

4. Accept that you're probably not going to be able to convince other people with your feelings about that person but eventually things will come crashing down and you'll have taken the better path.

[Norton Canes]

Take them on at their own game, engage in all-out psychological warfare, show them who's the boss. Humiliate them, then beat them to dust.

[idunnosomename]

The amount of people I know with clear narcissistic personality disorder I avoid like the literal plague is quite frightening really