Cycling 2019 (incorporating your own bike chat)

[kalowski]

who knows. he deserves the tour for the effort he has put in against all odds. Bernal is stronger and better climber so probably would win it anyway, but so what...

No one deserves the tour other than the person who has the lowest time at the end. Reminds me of when people moaned at Cadel Evans taking the yellow jersey off Andy Schleck in a time trial. "But Andy's put so much effort on these last few weeks!"

[George Oscar Bluth II]

We were all moaning about how ridiculous this was... Until they showed the state of the fucking route. It would have been like riding through a broken sewer.

Henri Desgrange is presumably spinning in his grave. If he'd been in charge today those fuckers would have waded through the flooding and climbed over the mudslide.

[BlodwynPig]

No one deserves the tour other than the person who has the lowest time at the end. Reminds me of when people moaned at Cadel Evans taking the yellow jersey off Andy Schleck in a time trial. "But Andy's put so much effort on these last few weeks!"

Right. Give Armstrong those titles back

[kalowski]

Right. Give Armstrong those titles back

Brilliant! You got me!!

[BlodwynPig]

Brilliant! You got me!!

:)

Its been a classic tour. If Bernal wins it, he deserves the gold medal but there have been many many great stories up and down.

[kalowski]

Ah, looks like Bernal has been handed the victory. Can't see anyone beating him over such a short distance.

Saturday's 20th stage of the Tour de France will be cut short from 130km to 59km and will skip two significant climbs because of landslides, organisers said on Friday evening.

A hailstorm and a landslide forced the race jury and organisers to stop the 19th stage with the extreme weather conditions having damaged other roads. The peloton will now go straight from Albertville to the final 33km ascent to Val Thorens and the riders will not have to tackle the category two Côte de Longefoy or the category one Cormet de Roselend, a 19.9km ascent at 6%.

[poo]

French must be gutted lol

[The Boston Crab]

Haha great to see the french blow it in their own back yard

[BlodwynPig]

French must be gutted lol

And me. Unless Caruso storms it, should be another French KoM though

[BlodwynPig]

Haha great to see the french blow it in their own back yard

Fuck you scum.

They didnt blow it, they performed incredibly in the tour. Best tour for Frenchies for a good few years but ended up with luck that the British should well recognise

[Mr Eggs]

Caleb Ewan got some zip. Fuck me.

[gilbertharding]

So, obviously no-one here was wondering 'where has Gilberthardingposter been for the last few weeks?' but:

I was knocked off my bike three weeks ago by a car, and broke my collarbone, four ribs, and punctured a lung. Spent a week in hospital, and am currently spending my days watching The Sweeney and practicing mastubating with my left hand (so, not time completely wasted...).

[Brian Freeze]

How's the bike?

Sounds rough that does. Best wishes.

[Ferris]

So, obviously no-one here was wondering 'where has Gilberthardingposter been for the last few weeks?' but:

I was knocked off my bike three weeks ago by a car, and broke my collarbone, four ribs, and punctured a lung. Spent a week in hospital, and am currently spending my days watching The Sweeney and practicing mastubating with my left hand (so, not time completely wasted...).

Shit one, get well soon! How's the bike?

How many seasons of The Sweeney are there? Feels like one of them shows that went on forever.

[gilbertharding]

I haven't seen the bike since - a helpful passer by took it home for me to collect later, but I gather it's fucked up nearly as badly as me. I shan't ride it again. My crash hat is also written off, and the ambulance crew had to cut off my lucky Jersey.

The policeman who turned up hasn't - to the best of anyone's knowledge - filed his report, so at time of writing I don't know the registration number of the car or the name of the driver, which is... frustrating. And baffling. Fucking trust me to get an amateur.

I'm on the mend. No longer on the max dose of the best painkillers, but I still have to wear a sling and be VERY circumspect about the merest prospect of a sneeze or a laugh.

[Ferris]

Well being at the business end of a traffic collision is never fun, but you should be counting your lucky stars because you could be an awful lot worse. I've had friends pick up terrible concussions (and plenty worse) riding their bikes and being hit by idiots in cars. Glad you're on the mend though.

Now forget all that and stop avoiding the question - how many seasons of The Sweeney are there?

[Norton Canes]

And which is the best episode to masturbate to?

Hope all your bits heal and right-hand masturbation can resume as soon as possible

[jobotic]

Blimey that's shit Gilbert. Wishing you as speedy a recovery as possible.

A colleague of mine was knocked off her bike at the end of her road (after having just done an incident free cycle to Northern France). The woman who knocked her off leaned out of her window and said "Sorry, hope you're alright. I have to go" as she was lying in the road with a broken shoulder and cracked ribs.

I count myself very lucky that I've never been knocked off, although I have had a few near misses.

[poo]

Nasty - all the best.

Is it just me getting older or are roads getting worse? Hardly touch my road bike now unless I need to get from A to B.

[gilbertharding]

Cheers all. I know, I keep telling myself I'm lucky - it could have been a lot worse.

There were 4 series of The Sweeney, and 2 films. I couldn't rank them in terms of erotic stimulus potential, but the episode with Morecambe and Wise must be near the bottom.

[gilbertharding]

The episode of the Sweeney featuring Morecambe and Wise was on ITV4 last night, which means it's probably repeated this morning, if anyone wants to corroborate my opinion.

UCI World Champs chat never happened, did it? I enjoyed it - everyone looked properly miserable.

[sevendaughters]

how's your recovery going gilbert?

i saw bits of the WC, was ace. the lad who zig-zagged in the wet in the U23 time trial made me cringe my nuts off.

[BlodwynPig]

The episode of the Sweeney featuring Morecambe and Wise was on ITV4 last night, which means it's probably repeatedly morning, if anyone wants to corroborate my opinion.

UCI World Champs chat never happened, did it? I enjoyed it - everyone looked properly miserable.

Except lovely lovely Annamiek

[gilbertharding]

how's your recovery going gilbert?

OK, I think. It's the 7th week - and I drove my car for the first time yesterday, and mowed the lawn the day before.

Still in a bit of occasional pain, constant mild discomfort, and have limited range of movement and strength - but today's better than yesterday, and with a bit of luck tomorrow will be better than today. How on EARTH these people ride bikes with the injuries they get after crashing just BOGGLES my brain.

[gilbertharding]

Fuuuuuck.

Last week I went to the quacks, just to check everything was mending OK. He pronounced himself happy, but sent me for an Xray just to be sure. And they just rang me to say "No, your collarbone's not OK. Go to A&E."

Oh, and on Sunday I went to get my bike - which has a bent front wheel (Mavic Aksium) and the brake levers are all bent inwards (like the new modern riders like). No other apparent damage, but it's going in a skip as soon as the insurance people have finished with it.

Meanwhile - what are the hospital going to do? How much longer am I going to be off games?

[gilbertharding]

I've now seen the xray - the collarbone isn't 'healing badly' or anything like that. It's just as broken as it was on 11 August.


The doctor at A&E couldn't understand why my GP sent me there. He wouldn't refer me to the fracture clinic because 'they are just technicians' and rang the orthopedic people, and took the message that 'sometimes collarbones just don't heal'.

I'm getting very very depressed about this now. Dark ideas.

[sevendaughters]

chin up Gilbert. cycling weather's going, get healthy and you'll be back with the birds.

know how you feel. I spanged my ACL at the same time as Suarez. while I was hobbling about he was back at the World Cup. I suppose the analogy here is Froome.

[gilbertharding]

I read a thing below the line on the NHS website (my wife found it) from someone who was living with a broken collarbone and could, after a year, do pressups and everything. Someone had told her 'you used to have two joints there, now you have three.'

Fuck all that.

But thanks, sevendaughters.

[Dex Sawash]

They'll sort you out with a bit of titanium¹, I reckon






_{1. or whatever they have close to hand to serve as a bludgeon}

[gilbertharding]

Ha ha!

I hope so, DexSawashposter.

I remember a funny series of columns by Dr Hutch in Cycling Weekly about his rehab from a running injury (he broke his fucking HIP during the London Marathon) and his demands for titanium not steel, and his physician trying to tell him how dangerous cycling was, and being delighted at scaring the nurses because his resting heart rate was so low all the alarms went off when he was sleeping.