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March 28, 2024, 10:46:19 AM

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1 tinnie

Started by The Boston Crab, March 20, 2019, 07:32:00 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
The gobernment says that's your lot,, 1 tinnie will do you fine before you néed to get a taxi but its common knowledge that its just the right amount for a business lunch or a drink after work .On the other hand theres lots of things where atinnie is not the best and may even be disadvantages to whatever it is that your trying to achieve . Maybe there could be more public sharing of information with the public about the Pros and cons of 1 tinnie. What things can be done better after and things are worse after?




Better at


Hard drivin
Bad language/foul language
Crisps




Worse at



Takes a long time to wipe your arse as clean
Not have another tinnie
Lose your temper over nothin


Any more?


Golden rule if you use the phrase 1 Tinnie or time for a quick one, you have a drinking problem.

bgmnts

Genuinely depends on the tinny.

I am better at cooking after a few, and pool.

Cuellar


Twed

Depends on what I've eaten and how tired I am. I've definitely been drunker on one pint than at times I have on four.

bgmnts

I've definitely noticed one drink tends to give me a hangover where several won't. No idea why.

Gregory Torso

1 tinnie - I go over and talk to her

2 tinnie - I look at her while I talk to her and say good correct things

3 tinnie - I tell her a joke to make her laugh

4 tinnie - I extemporise devotional odes in the club that's a bit much

5 tinnie - I cry on her face and tell her she is too beauitful for this world

6 tinnie - I tell her I hope she gets addicted to smack and ask her to stab me

7 tinnie - I propose to her and then ask her what the fuck shes looking at does she want a figh

8 tinnie - I feel sleepy and it's time to go home

9 tinnie - I log on to Cab

10 tinnie - hello

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: bgmnts on March 20, 2019, 08:11:52 PM
I've definitely noticed one drink tends to give me a hangover where several won't. No idea why.

Still drunk?


Dr Syntax Head

A tinnie is great because when you're enjoying one on a Monday afternoon in town centre and a park officer/pretend police person comes into view you can discretely throw it in a bush, wait for them to pass and then when you retrieve it most of the sweet oblivion juice is still inside. More than one tinnie requires a small rucksack to carry the rest invisible to the general public or pretend policemen. This has the added bonus that if you are unable to retrieve your discarded tinnie you still have 3 of the 4 Kroneys you bought for £4.50 special offer from tescos. Tinnies are a lifesaver.

Nowhere Man

Quote from: Dr Syntax Head on March 30, 2019, 12:11:28 AM
A tinnie is great because when you're enjoying one on a Monday afternoon in town centre and a park officer/pretend police person comes into view you can discretely throw it in a bush, wait for them to pass and then when you retrieve it most of the sweet oblivion juice is still inside.

Damn those Trailer Park supervisors


alan nagsworth

Quote from: Delete Delete Delete on March 20, 2019, 07:34:56 PM
Golden rule if you use the phrase 1 Tinnie or time for a quick one, you have a drinking problem.

If you sing "Just One Cornetto" do you have an ice cream problem?

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Delete Delete Delete on March 20, 2019, 07:34:56 PM
Golden rule if you use the phrase 1 Tinnie or time for a quick one, you have a drinking problem.

one's too many, two's not enough.

Quote from: alan nagsworth on March 30, 2019, 08:18:36 AM
If you sing "Just One Cornetto" do you have an ice cream problem?

If someone asked you if you had time for a quick Cornetto you'd rightly think they had a problem, so yeah :)

Icehaven

It's no good moaning about all the nice pubs shutting then in the next breath telling everyone to drink less. They aren't going to survive on the goodwill of a room full of people making a J2O last an hour. One tinnie drink my bloody liver.

Cerys

Turns out I'm better at cryptic crosswords after I've had one.

alan nagsworth

Quote from: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on March 30, 2019, 09:47:59 AM
If someone asked you if you had time for a quick Cornetto you'd rightly think they had a problem, so yeah :)

It's literally impossible to half a "swift half" of a Cornetto as well. Fair point.

alan nagsworth

One or two tinnies is dangerous business for me. If I'm sober or noticeably drunk then I can sleep soundly. But if I have one or two tinnies the fucking mind will not shut the fuck up as soon as I get into bed and close my eyes. All sorts of anxiety and doubt and worry. Wretched bollocks. It's enough to turn a person to drink.

idunnosomename

I don't know what's so funny about having a Cornetto problem. Took my uncle it did

alan nagsworth

Those lyrics. "Just one Cornetto. Give it to me."

Cornetto addicts are not subtle, are they? Rein it in a bit mate.

pancreas

One tinnie in the binnie. Funny way to talk about anal sex, but it is what it is.

alan nagsworth

It's always been "two in the tinnie, one in the binnie" where I'm from. You know, like "two in the fishy, one in the dishy"? Like that.

Noonling

I have no clue what any of you yobbos are talking about but I'm calling the police just in case.

Gregory Torso

Quote from: pancreas on March 30, 2019, 01:23:27 PM
One tinnie in the binnie. Funny way to talk about anal sex, but it is what it is.

When my uncle was in prison he told me that "tinnie" was the nickname of Cockney Michael (the Prison Tricycle)'s arse, so if you said you were off to "crack a tinnie" everyone knew what you meant, and no one judged. It was very difficult having barbecues with him after he got out, my uncle, because if you offered him a tinnie he'd whittle a shiv out of a chip fork and threaten to stab anyone who came near him.

Very good laugh on the topic of prison rape and PTSD.

alan nagsworth

Quote from: Gregory Torso on March 30, 2019, 09:44:24 PM
When my uncle was in prison he told me that "tinnie" was the nickname of Cockney Michael (the Prison Tricycle)'s arse, so if you said you were off to "crack a tinnie" everyone knew what you meant, and no one judged. It was very difficult having barbecues with him after he got out, my uncle, because if you offered him a tinnie he'd whittle a shiv out of a chip fork and threaten to stab anyone who came near him.

I feel like all I'm doing in this thread is rhyming, but I can't just sit idly by and overlook the fact that "Cockney Mike (the Prison Trike)" is a way better name for at least two reasons. One of them being that it rhymes. The other reason is that, much like Cockney Mike, it just rolls off the tongue better.

ASFTSN

Quote from: Gregory Torso on March 30, 2019, 09:44:24 PM
When my uncle was in prison he told me that "tinnie" was the nickname of Cockney Michael (the Prison Tricycle)'s arse, so if you said you were off to "crack a tinnie" everyone knew what you meant, and no one judged. It was very difficult having barbecues with him after he got out, my uncle, because if you offered him a tinnie he'd whittle a shiv out of a chip fork and threaten to stab anyone who came near him.

a chip fork basically is a shiv though

alan nagsworth

No, they definitely need whittling. You'd have a job piercing into a congealed pot of day-old curry sauce with a chip shop fork, let alone the taut, hardened gut of a barbecue attendee.

pancreas

Lads. Isn't there is enough misery in the world already, without adding Fork Crime to the list?

alan nagsworth

Quote from: pancreas on March 31, 2019, 01:23:02 PM
Lads. Isn't there is enough misery in the world already, without adding Fork Crime to the list?

Fork crime?

Or fork rhyme?