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March 28, 2024, 12:41:06 PM

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Internet Dating [split topic]

Started by AliasTheCat, March 20, 2019, 08:35:01 PM

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imitationleather

#120
Now I've read what a fuckboy I've realised that all they have to do to get around the "No fuckboy" rule is be like "Oh, but I'm not a fuckboy. Honest!"

I have cracked the code. It is truly the perfect crime.

phes

Apparently nobody knows what a fuckboy is. The only thread seems to be 'leading people on'

https://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2016/04/27-hilarious-ways-to-explain-exactly-what-a-fuckboy-is/

I think I don't qualify on account of the first, standalone line on my profiles that says - in as many words - I will be fucking other people. 

Wet Blanket

Oh see I thought a fuckboy was a legitimate thing to be, only some girls weren't into that, like maybe there were boys' profiles along the lines of "Hi I'm Dwayne, total fuckboy, INFP, own house own car own teeth, into travelling, good job, likes travelling. Probably only swiped right because you had a dog."

zomgmouse

"I'm terrible at writing bios" is a pet peeve I've just remembered. As is "Not sure what to say! Anything you want to know, just ask!"

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on March 25, 2019, 12:12:16 PM
I haven't online dated since before Tinder was even a thing. Do people still use the cliche "I like a night out dancing with friends but am just as happy with a quiet night on the sofa with a good movie and a bottle of wine"?

Cos that used to do my fucking head in.

Yes.

Quote from: Wet Blanket on March 25, 2019, 12:32:41 PM
My absolute favourite is "no fuckboys" because I've no idea what a fuckboy is or if I'd qualify. You see it on profiles of people who otherwise look totally normal.

Fuckboys are more or less the modern equivalent of scrubs, as featured in the famous song "No Scrubs". Basically cocky men who are only after sex but in a way that is not considerate of the other person (usually a woman)'s needs or emotions and only after their own sexual gratification.

Wet Blanket

Is that what a scrub is? I thought a scrub was someone who wanted to be a player but didn't have any money. He's sitting on the passenger side of his best friend's ride because he doesn't have a car of his own, and 'tryna holler at me' was to be interpreted as 'puhleeeze, I am way out of your league sunshine.'

zomgmouse

Honestly you're probably right, I was just trying to make a witty connection but it's totally off.

phes

Quote from: zomgmouse on March 25, 2019, 02:34:34 PM
"I'm terrible at writing bios"

See also: 'not gonna write anything here otherwise what will we talk about on a date'

Imagine going on a date with a 500 character limit


St_Eddie

#127
I ain't a fuckboy.  I'm a fuckMAN.

Quote from: phes on March 25, 2019, 02:41:36 PM
See also: 'not gonna write anything here otherwise what will we talk about on a date'

Imagine going on a date with a 500 character limit

Sounds like bliss, eh lads???

machotrouts

It's a shame No Scrubs pops off so much with such a horrible sentiment. "Want to get with me with no money? Oh no!". You can bloody well afford to let a bloke sponge off you, you're in TLC pet. Oh your song about how you don't want to be the breadwinner in this relationship is an international #1 hit, that's nice. Give ower you cheeky capitalist mares. You can afford to fund several homeless shelters' worth of boyfriends.

FredNurke

Quote from: Wet Blanket on March 25, 2019, 02:39:10 PM
Is that what a scrub is? I thought a scrub was someone who wanted to be a player but didn't have any money. He's sitting on the passenger side of his best friend's ride because he doesn't have a car of his own, and 'tryna holler at me' was to be interpreted as 'puhleeeze, I am way out of your league sunshine.'

I thought it was one of those bastards who tries to sell you Deku Nuts at rip-off prices.

Pancake

If I could see my dating profile on Guardian Soulmates and conduct on subsequent dates I'd probably slip a disc cringing

Icehaven

My band's had to find a new singer a few times and we use sites like Join My Band etc, and we've said it's in some ways quite similar to online dating. The larger proportion of messages we send go unanswered, there's a lot of timewasters who will exchange a few positive messages then just vanish, unrealistic expectations are rife (the complaints about lists of demands above sounds familiar, some people seem to think they should be able to magically find a band formed of 3 or 4 other people who have exactly the same musical taste as them, or who seem to think rehearsal space is free and seem genuinely shocked when we mention there's a monthly cost for our studio), overestimations of talent abound, although at least technology now means you can sometimes root out the truly deluded before messaging them, and even when we get as far as getting them to the studio, after one or two rehearsals it's usually apparent we're not a match, and we either have to politely thank them for their time, or they do the same to us (although more common is just not replying anymore and we never hear from them again or they come up with some excuse as to why they suddenly can't do it anymore.) We've even been stood up on the day of the first meeting a few times, with colds, motorbike accidents and more colds usually being blamed, but apparently never recovered from as we never hear from them again. It's bloody irritating and frustrating enough when looking for someone for a hobby band, I think if I had to use it to find someone to share my life with I'd have gone spare by now.

Danger Man

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on March 25, 2019, 12:12:16 PM
I haven't online dated since before Tinder was even a thing. Do people still use the cliche "I like a night out dancing with friends but am just as happy with a quiet night on the sofa with a good movie and a bottle of wine"?

Cos that used to do my fucking head in.


I only do Tinder for the micro-dopamine hits I get when ever somebody likes me. My matches are all 3D (Divorced, Daddy issues or Dinner ladies) and the same phrases go round and round and round.


Something about the first kiss being the last time they have to kiss somebody new, something about their kids being the world to them, something about partners in crime, something about being bought enough drinks to think you look like your profile picture, something about being 'sapiosexual' yet somehow being on a site that judges people by looks alone.


And the many, many women who have a profile pic of them in their underwear/swimwear in their bedroom with the profile saying NO ONE NIGHT STANDS OR HOOKUPS

phes

Quote from: Danger Man on March 25, 2019, 05:02:12 PM

I only do Tinder for the micro-dopamine hits I get when ever somebody likes me. My matches are all 3D (Divorced, Daddy issues or Dinner ladies) and the same phrases go round and round and round.


Something about the first kiss being the last time they have to kiss somebody new, something about their kids being the world to them, something about partners in crime, something about being bought enough drinks to think you look like your profile picture, something about being 'sapiosexual' yet somehow being on a site that judges people by looks alone.


And the many, many women who have a profile pic of them in their underwear/swimwear in their bedroom with the profile saying NO ONE NIGHT STANDS OR HOOKUPS

Odd one that isn't it. For a while I wondered if it was just confirmation bias, but I'm pretty certain there's a correlation between sexualization of images and anger towards people looking for casual sex. It's not a nightclub, it's a dating site, and if you post images of yourself rubbing the crotch of your pants and licking your lips then people probably are going to ask you if you want to have sex. I'm sure the reality of those messages is pretty grim tho

QuoteDivorced

I steer clear of people who say 'never married'. I dunno if that's fuckheaded of me but something about that being a selling point makes me uneasy. Couldn't care less how many times someone's been married, or whether - as is the case with a lot of people - they're still married, because it's basically an annoying, expensive faff to divorce and so people just don't bother until it's really necessary

grassbath

What's bizarre to me is how many women between 20 and 35 seem to have come to the independent conclusion that 'sarcasm' is a winning quality.

'Hope you can handle how sarcastic I am!' 'Sarcastic AF' 'Probably the most sarcastic person you've ever met' 'Queen of sarcasm'

on literally every other profile.

See also: 'More interested in your dog than you'

sponk

Do women still wear fake mustaches in their tinder pictures?

phes

The moustache craze seems to have died out but 'fluent in sarcasm' is still going strong

sponk

Quote from: Danger Man on March 25, 2019, 05:02:12 PM
And the many, many women who have a profile pic of them in their underwear/swimwear in their bedroom with the profile saying NO ONE NIGHT STANDS OR HOOKUPS

I think women should be allowed to dress how they want without being sexually harassed by guys, online or in real life.

Icehaven

Quote from: phes on March 25, 2019, 06:19:07 PM
I steer clear of people who say 'never married'. I dunno if that's fuckheaded of me but something about that being a selling point makes me uneasy. Couldn't care less how many times someone's been married, or whether - as is the case with a lot of people - they're still married, because it's basically an annoying, expensive faff to divorce and so people just don't bother until it's really necessary

There was a bloke on godawful dating show Dinner Date who was in his late 40s and proudly announced never having been married or in a long-term relationship as a positive attribute as it meant he had "no baggage". Yes, and also no experience of sharing a home, or how to compromise, or of going through difficult stuff together, of how to share your life, and if you've never done any of that and have spent your life having everything exactly your own way, I'd imagine it'd be bloody difficult to start learning how when you're middle aged.
And on the harsher side, it also kind of makes it look like no one could put up with you for very long.

phes

There's definitely a unsoiled feel to some of those profiles. Not a great surprise considering the shaming women are subjected to but I steer clear as I don't want that judgement extended to me

Danger Man

Quote from: sponk on March 25, 2019, 08:49:00 PM
I think women should be allowed to dress how they want without being sexually harassed by guys, online or in real life.

6/10

Perplexicon

Hngh this is a cathartic thread coz you're all wound up by the exact same things I am. Fucking big glasses snapchat filter I think 'sarcasm' is a personality trait ask if you want to know photos of me at pride even though I'm witheringly hetero my kids are my world love to travel watch movies and breathe oxygen shape of you is my anthem look at my tiny ugly dog all my photos are on horses because I am definitely a tory fuck this I'm deleting this app RIGHT NOW.

I've been doing online dating for about 10 months now, initially it was great fun but as soon as you start thinking about looking for someone you'd, you know, like to try building a life with the whole thing starts to become a horrible drag. I think my jadedness stems from catching feelings for someone who only wanted a 'casual thing', and have just had a run boring matches since. Trying to get a conversation out of some of the people you match with is starting to make me feel like Toast in the recording booth - my contempt for the whole process is starting to boil over.

Hey though got a couple of dates this weekend that might be good or shit!

Danger Man

Quote from: grassbath on March 25, 2019, 08:22:11 PM
What's bizarre to me is how many women between 20 and 35 seem to have come to the independent conclusion that 'sarcasm' is a winning quality.

Yes!  Where on earth do they get the idea that sarcasm is a winning quality?

There seem to be a lot more Union Jacks on display than a few years ago,

AliasTheCat

Quote from: Perplexicon on March 25, 2019, 11:19:43 PM
Hey though got a couple of dates this weekend that might be good or shit!

I hope they go well Perplexicon.
You're miles ahead of me, I'm trying (and seemingly failing) to have my first chat with a match, though the fact I've spent all evening listening to Scott Walker's more challenging recent releases hasn't exactly put me in a flirty frame of mind.

Z

I've two pretty promising looking internet dates in the next two days coming up. It always seems to come in batches like that. I bet I won't have another one for a month or two if neither of these go well.

St_Eddie


Z


St_Eddie