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Internet Dating [split topic]

Started by AliasTheCat, March 20, 2019, 08:35:01 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

St_Eddie


Danger Man

Quote from: sponk on March 26, 2019, 12:14:47 AM
What could I have done to make it an 8?


People can dress how they like and state what they are looking for in a relationship without being judged.


A bit watered down and less gender specific but it would have been harder to spot.

the hum

Would it be wrong for me to add "Why the fuck are you still posing in front of your shit Christmas tree?" to my bio?

St_Eddie

Quote from: the hum on March 26, 2019, 01:45:55 AM
Would it be wrong for me to add "Why the fuck are you still posing in front of your shit Christmas tree?" to my bio?

Yes. Absolutely. What's wrong with you?


St_Eddie


zomgmouse

"Just want someone to reach the top shelf"

"Just want someone to spray tan my back"

Icehaven

Quote from: zomgmouse on March 26, 2019, 01:25:35 PM
"Just want someone to reach the top shelf"

"Just want someone to spray tan my back"

I get the first one is a euphemism for 'must be tall' but what's the second, 'must have a steady hand'?

Danger Man

Quote from: icehaven on March 26, 2019, 01:29:12 PM
I get the first one is a euphemism for 'must be tall' but what's the second'?

Scat

zomgmouse

Quote from: icehaven on March 26, 2019, 01:29:12 PM
I get the first one is a euphemism for 'must be tall' but what's the second, 'must have a steady hand'?

It's literally just "I need a second person there"

a duncandisorderly


Lord Mandrake

I recently joined Tinder and I thought I was smashing it until I had to communicate with them and it all goes to shit every time because I am a very poor communicator online.



Ok cheers

Icehaven

Quote from: zomgmouse on March 26, 2019, 01:31:05 PM
It's literally just "I need a second person there"

Brrrrr. I mean I know it's not entirely serious, but still. 'Just want someone to be in when I get Amazon deliveries.' 'Just want someone to drive when I fancy a drink.'


canadagoose

Quote from: icehaven on March 26, 2019, 01:42:22 PM
Brrrrr. I mean I know it's not entirely serious, but still. 'Just want someone to be in when I get Amazon deliveries.' 'Just want someone to drive when I fancy a drink.'


To be fair, it does have to be someone you can trust, too. You don't want them sneakily spray-tanning a cock and balls on your back, for instance.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: canadagoose on March 26, 2019, 01:48:52 PM
To be fair, it does have to be someone you can trust, too. You don't want them sneakily spray-tanning a cock and balls on your back, for instance.

nah. if they can't take a joke, don't fuck them.

phes

Quote from: Lord Mandrake on March 26, 2019, 01:39:44 PM
I recently joined Tinder and I thought I was smashing it until I had to communicate with them and it all goes to shit every time because I am a very poor communicator online.
Ok cheers

One of the compliments that comes up again and again is around how much women struggle to find men who can hold conversation beyond a couple of banal lines and emojis. And I've been shown the inboxes to prove it. It is bleak and does go to re-enforce how the numerical disparity in matches/messages doesn't mean it's easy for women to find suitable matches. I find it hard to believe that you are struggling because of communication. Are you sure it's not just some shit matches on a different wavelength? I talk to an awful lot more people than I actually end up meeting.

Lord Mandrake

Not sure why its incumbent on the bloke to hold the conversation. I try the softly, softly catchy monkey approach but keep getting cagey responses or worse, some baffling non-sequitur so I just leave it, we go again.

phes

I think you've just had a small sample and no luck yet. I've got dozens of conversations that I've not bothered responding to because of their lack of enthusiasm or engagement. But every once in a while you will find a gem

Schrodingers Cat

This is a timely thread, as I've started using these apps just this week. Only had a couple of matches so far, which I put down to me being a combination of very unattractive and boring as fuck. Trying to write a brief profile of myself is one the hardest things I ever have to do - like writing a CV "Why I'm brilliant in 200 words or fewer". Which for someone with as low an opinion of yourself as me is not easy.
It has also made me conscious of how photos there are of me, leaving me to rely on a couple of badly taken selfies and a photo of me playing rugby, which I think is probably a terrible idea but I don't have much alternative.
Even when I have matched, I have no idea what to say or how. I basically sent a message saying I was completely new, and didn't know what I was doing - hoping that would suggest they lead the early conversation. All I got back was them say "that's ok, I don't either".
Riiight. That's helpful. Now what?

Lord Mandrake

Obviously Tinder have designed it to thwart me. The matches give you a little buzz that's quickly replaced by feelings of self loathing and contempt for humanity at large.

phes

Quote from: Schrodingers Cat on March 26, 2019, 02:54:08 PM
This is a timely...

I think a few matches a week is pretty normal. The more active you are the more matches you'll get. If you pay for features you'll get many more. Some people I know are pretty discerning at the swiping and get few matches, I'm less so and get more. Mainly because I've come to realise I'm often wrong in judging who I'll be a good match with - but then I'm not looking for a lot, so even a single interest in common and good conversion can be enough.

re messaging: I'm lucky that I have a bit of an in. Because I'm not looking for anything exclusive I can always just message to ask if they read my profile, and it goes from there. Or more often than not, doesn't. Otherwise, I found that just some variation on 'Hiya, you seem like a good egg. Drop me a line if you fancy a chat. Have a nice day' is probably more than enough opportunity to open up a conversation

flotemysost

#171
For what it's worth, the opening messages I've received from men on apps that have sparked interesting conversations/led to dates, have basically been along the lines of:

- "Hey, from your profile you seem like you'd be fun to hang out with. I'm rubbish at messaging so if you'd be up for going for a no-pressure drink/coffee some time, let me know". My bio is quite 'wordy', and is just stuff about me/stuff I'm into rather than a list of requirements, but I can see this might not work on someone whose profile consists of three selfies and 'MUST HAVE OWN CAR AND BE AT LEAST 6FT'. However I'm equally rubbish/jaded with messaging, and as this guy also seemed cool/nice judging by his profile, I was more than up for meeting.

- "Tell me about [thing that happened to you which is referred to in your profile]". In my case it's normally the not-actually-very-interesting-or-funny Steve Coogan anecdote which I've mentioned on here, but it could be a photo, or whatever. Sounds obvious but it shows you've properly looked at their profile and hopefully seen something that indicates some sort of common ground.

This isn't to say that I think it should always be blokes sending the first message obviously (with me, it's just whoever gets round to it first, i.e. normally the guy because I'm crap and lazy, but when I do message first it's normally a variation on the above), and I'm not trying to suggest I speak for all womankind or owt like that, just my experiences.

Quote from: machotroutsREASONS I LEFT-SWIPED YOU ON TINDER:

Amazing, and all true.


AliasTheCat

I'm just writing an introductory message about the bout of tonsillitis I had in November. This seems like a good idea in my head.

sponk

Quote from: Schrodingers Cat on March 26, 2019, 02:54:08 PM
This is a timely thread, as I've started using these apps just this week. Only had a couple of matches so far, which I put down to me being a combination of very unattractive and boring as fuck. Trying to write a brief profile of myself is one the hardest things I ever have to do - like writing a CV "Why I'm brilliant in 200 words or fewer". Which for someone with as low an opinion of yourself as me is not easy.
It has also made me conscious of how photos there are of me, leaving me to rely on a couple of badly taken selfies and a photo of me playing rugby, which I think is probably a terrible idea but I don't have much alternative.
Even when I have matched, I have no idea what to say or how. I basically sent a message saying I was completely new, and didn't know what I was doing - hoping that would suggest they lead the early conversation. All I got back was them say "that's ok, I don't either".
Riiight. That's helpful. Now what?

Might feel a bit tragic but you could always get a tripod and take some spontaneous looking pictures of yourself doing stuff.

Lord Mandrake

Here, I've got one today who describes herself as 'relatively earnest and incredibly sarcastic'. I'm considering an opening gambit mentioning how that's paradoxical. Am I doing it wrong?

momatt

I've had a bit of success using Bumble over the past year.  I like it's slightly feminist leanings and the fact it's got loads of cool features even on the free version.
The ladies seem a bit classier than those on Tinder.  Way too classy for me.

I get a fair amount of first dates anyway.  Second dates, not so much.

Quote from: Lord Mandrake on March 27, 2019, 10:39:16 AM
Here, I've got one today who describes herself as 'relatively earnest and incredibly sarcastic'. I'm considering an opening gambit mentioning how that's paradoxical. Am I doing it wrong?
Tell her she's a silly twat.
Chicks love that shit.


momatt

If her self-esteem is low enough, then constantly berating her and casual insults will make her fall for you.
Which I hear works quite well if you're a manipulative psychopath.

I'm not calling you that though, I'm sure you're cool.
In which case, just send some dick-pics.

Pdine

I've had a lot of success using a profile picture of Mollie Sugden wearing a T shirt that says 'I Crave Cock'.

AliasTheCat

I can't help but read the match percentage on OKCupid as a score.